12345Michael54321
Distinguished Member
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- Mar 14, 2008
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Six. (This is also exactly how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop. Twice.
One single-breasted with brass buttons.
One single-breasted with pewter buttons.
One double-breasted with brass buttons, but you never wear it because you dislike double-breasted jackets and think that they're currently out-of-fashion anyway.
One single-breasted with enamel buttons displaying your college crest, which you purchased from the Alumni Association, which you had intended to wear to your 25th Anniversary Homecoming Weekend, but that turned out to be the weekend your wife's cousin's daughter was getting married up in New Jersey, so you couldn't go to Homecoming and see if everyone had gotten old (while you, by contrast, seem to have sipped from the fountain of youth, itself).
One very nice Brooks navy blazer, which is a size too small for you to wear, but you were able to get it via eBay for under $100, and once you drop those 15 lbs., it's going to look really good on you.
One you don't much like because it's 30% polyester, but you do take it with you when you're flying on business, because the thing simply cannot be wrinkled, even if you ball it up and use it as a pillow on the flight where the flight attendant claimed there were no more pillows available, but you knew she was lying but you didn't want to cause a scene and risk getting your name on some list Homeland Security keeps of passengers who behaved in a threatening manner.
Six. (This is also exactly how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop. Twice.
One single-breasted with brass buttons.
One single-breasted with pewter buttons.
One double-breasted with brass buttons, but you never wear it because you dislike double-breasted jackets and think that they're currently out-of-fashion anyway.
One single-breasted with enamel buttons displaying your college crest, which you purchased from the Alumni Association, which you had intended to wear to your 25th Anniversary Homecoming Weekend, but that turned out to be the weekend your wife's cousin's daughter was getting married up in New Jersey, so you couldn't go to Homecoming and see if everyone had gotten old (while you, by contrast, seem to have sipped from the fountain of youth, itself).
One very nice Brooks navy blazer, which is a size too small for you to wear, but you were able to get it via eBay for under $100, and once you drop those 15 lbs., it's going to look really good on you.
One you don't much like because it's 30% polyester, but you do take it with you when you're flying on business, because the thing simply cannot be wrinkled, even if you ball it up and use it as a pillow on the flight where the flight attendant claimed there were no more pillows available, but you knew she was lying but you didn't want to cause a scene and risk getting your name on some list Homeland Security keeps of passengers who behaved in a threatening manner.
