FYI: Divorce sux

[Benzito]

Originally Posted by Lighthouse

Women initiate most divorces. Somehow they got it into their head that marriage is about being entertained.

It may be nice to think this, but it is patently untrue.

 

[Benzito]

Originally Posted by MetroStyles

Common law marriage doesn't just happen if you live together. You both have to agree you are married and declare yourselves husband and wife. It's not like your live-in girlfriend can get uppity one day and say "tricked ya *****, gimme all your assets!"

Do not take Metro's advice as accurate, because it isn't, and it could cost you.

Check your local laws, but in many states, two people need not be in a formal marriage or even a common law marriage to make a claim for assets. And having kids with someone is a separate issue entirely.

 

[MetroStyles]

Originally Posted by Benzito

Do not take Metro's advice as accurate, because it isn't, and it could cost you.

Check your local laws, but in many states, two people need not be in a formal marriage or even a common law marriage to make a claim for assets. And having kids with someone is a separate issue entirely.

It's true that you can't be tricked into a common law marriage. You need to declare it pretty damn clearly. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common-...n-law_marriage

 

[Lighthouse]

Originally Posted by Benzito

It may be nice to think this, but it is patently untrue.

Women initiate 2/3rds of divorce, and the number goes even higher if the wife went to college.

 

[Reevolving]

Originally Posted by Mark from Plano

It turns out that there's a money sucking black hole where my ex-wife used to be.

Originally Posted by APK

Because there's a dramatic shift from "we've agreed to stay on good terms for the sake of the kids" to "my wife is trying to bleed me dry." .
Or, he could have been referring to his new golddigger girlfriend.... I'd like to hear more from Mark. What did she do a 180 on? Should it not be fairly cut/dry in terms of 50/50 asset division, and some guidelines for CS? No alimony, as she earns more.

 

[Thomas]

Mark, I'm sorry to hear this and wish for an amicable resolution for you.

Incidentially, I spend last weekend in my old hometown watching a childhood friend get married (first marriage for them both, at 39-or-so), and next month another - older - friend gets married (also his first marriage).

 

[Benzito]

Originally Posted by Lighthouse

Women initiate 2/3rds of divorce, and the number goes even higher if the wife went to college.

Rather than quote random statistics, I'll just point out that my estimate of about 50/50 is based on about ten years of domestic relations practice. Based on anecdotal evidence from several others, my practice is no different than most.

 

[Benzito]

Originally Posted by MetroStyles

It's true that you can't be tricked into a common law marriage. You need to declare it pretty damn clearly. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common-...n-law_marriage

Yes, cite Wikipedia to a judge when you find yourself in that situation. I'm sure the Supreme Court looks to the internet for the same guidance.

"Common law marriage" is still recognized in several states. In those that it is not, however, there have been many cases of "domestic partnership" between two heterosexual or homosexual partners that is treated the same as a "common law marriage" in many respects. In Washington State, this is actually recognized as a "meretricious relationship." Property rights, division of debts, transfer of property, etc. As far as I can tell, because it is not something established through the normal legislative or historical process (see below), there is no requirement to "announce" or memorialize the relationship. You do it by actually living the life. Then you find out later that your lifestyle choices could cost you.

This (domestic partnership) is not a relationship defined by a religious ritual or a government license (like marriage), it is not something that developed through practice (like common law marriage), it is entirely a creation of clever lawyers. Still costs you the same if you end up there.

Take that to your Wikipedia.

 

[acidboy]

we don't get divorce here but I grew up with a lot of friends who were products of broken families and it truly always sucks. hope the situation ends quickly, mark and you and the kids get some normalcy back in your lives very very soon!

 

[countdemoney]

Originally Posted by Benzito

Rather than quote random statistics, I'll just point out that my estimate of about 50/50 is based on about ten years of domestic relations practice. Based on anecdotal evidence from several others, my practice is no different than most.

Several sstudies back up the idea that more women file, with women initiating from 65% to 90% depending on sources.

In your experience, were any of the male initiated filings the result of clear cut behaviour by the women? Or was it about even?

By this I mean that in all the instances in my peer group where I have direct knowledge, the woman committed infidelity in the relationship and then told the man about it, in part to either initiate the divorce on his side or ensure that he would see it through when she asked for it.

 

[Manton]

Credible social science studies back up the 2/3s figure.

 

[Ataturk]

Who files doesn't really indicate who's initiated the divorce, but, yeah, I've always heard (and it's been my experience that) women initiate a significant majority of divorces.

That's not exactly the same thing as saying who is responsible for the end of the marriage, as women are often given legitimate reasons to want to end the marriage even if the husband doesn't to.

 

[RedLantern]

Originally Posted by MetroStyles

It's true that you can't be tricked into a common law marriage. You need to declare it pretty damn clearly. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common-...n-law_marriage

A "common law marriage" isn't the only way you can end up splitting assets without having planned on it though.

 

[Macallan9]

Can someone knowledgeable expound on this? I read the wiki entry and it's vague as hell. What is a public declaration? "a holding out of each other as husband and wife to the public.", " reputed in the community to be husband and wife"

The texas entry is at least specific enough to require registering in court. The rest of them sound ridiculously exploitable.

 

[grundletaint]

i know of someone who's in a battle for his house with an ex-girlfriend simply because she helped pay the mortgage (as 'rent'). the problem was that she sent her part of the payment directly to the lender and now has claim to the property even though her name isn't on anything. had she paid him instead, he wouldn't be in danger of losing his house. relationships are tricky ****.