Do you give your SO an allowance?

[Brian SD]

I've never done anything like that in a relationship before, but currently I've been dishing out about 5% of my paycheck as a kind of allowance for my girlfriend (despite the fact that month to month, she makes more than I do). Maybe it's just because she likes to go shopping moreso than my previous girlfriends have. Feels like its kind of a monthly maintenance fee for keeping her nails nice and her clothes up to date.

Am I normal or is this unusual?

 

[j]

Does that mean you can ground her if she does something bad?

 

[Brian SD]

Originally Posted by j

Does that mean you can ground her if she does something bad?

I'll remember that one.

 

[VKK3450]

How does that all work? Does she ask you for cash, or do you just end up paying for her manicures, etc?

My girlfriend makes pretty good money and doesnt require an allowance from me

K

 

[GQgeek]

Oh boy... where do I start?

As wel all know very well by now, teh g33k has been suckered into spending more than his fair share on wimminz. I've never paid an actual maintenance fee though. Unless we were married , there isn't a chance in hell she's getting some fixed % of my income. If we were married, such a thing would rub me the wrong way. To me this is a huge red flag. If a girl expected that from me even before we were married, despite making more than I do, I'd run for the hills. Imagine what she'll be like after you tie the knot... You should just start endorsing your cheques over to her now.

And ya, I'd say it's unusual. There's a big difference between treating your gf and giving an actual allowance. The only girl I've ever met that got an allowance from her guy was just using him and dating someone else on the side.

 

[kwilkinson]

Personally, no. But I spend a lot of money on my gf, I wouldn't call it an allowance though. I get my paycheck and spend all the money that I need to, put back whatever part I want to save, and the rest is "entertainment" money, that I use on both of us. If you call that an allowance, so be it.

My dad gives my mother an allowance though. He's the one with the job, and until 2 years ago, my mother was the home maker. But on that end, they both had an allowance. They basically did the same thing I did; take care of all your necessary expenses, then set some money aside for entertainment. I wouldn't call it allowance, just part of your budget.

Edit: and yeah, it's weird if she's making more than you. Why don't you ask her for a little allowance?!

 

[GQgeek]

Originally Posted by kwilkinson

Personally, no. But I spend a lot of money on my gf, I wouldn't call it an allowance though. I get my paycheck and spend all the money that I need to, put back whatever part I want to save, and the rest is "entertainment" money, that I use on both of us. If you call that an allowance, so be it.

My dad gives my mother an allowance though. He's the one with the job, and until 2 years ago, my mother was the home maker. But on that end, they both had an allowance. They basically did the same thing I did; take care of all your necessary expenses, then set some money aside for entertainment. I wouldn't call it allowance, just part of your budget.

Edit: and yeah, it's weird if she's making more than you. Why don't you ask her for a little allowance?!

Ya but what's different in his case is that it's not "entertainment" money spent on both of them. It's her spending his money on herself even though she has her own money. My mother did that with my father and it inevitably led to resentment and fighting. I really don't understand how a situation like this could come to be. It might be one thing if you really love a girl and she's down on her luck and you decide to help her out, but when she's making money and you're not even married?

 

[mink31]

Honestly, even if you're married, any type of inequality--especially financial--is breeding ground for mutual resentment. My parents have always shared a bank account and it was actually my mother who took care of all the finances even though my father took in 3x her salary. I understand that if you've got billions to protect, you'd want to be careful. But isn't marriage about trust?

 

[Margaret]

Originally Posted by mink31

But isn't marriage about trust?

And estate.

 

[G79]

I allow her to chew my brains out on and off

 

[Brian278]

WTF?

I don't understand this. It's one thing if she's a student and you're supporting both of you or you're engaged or married and your bringing considerably more money to the table than she is, but it's sort of mixed together. If she makes more than you, why isn't she spending her own money keeping herself looking nice for you? Maybe it's a cultural thing. Isn't your girlfriend Korean? Either way, it's a very bad precedent to set IMO.

 

[Mr T]

No.

My wife and I each earn, save and spend our own money. Actually, so does my daughter since she earns money by doing chores vs getting money for nothing.

 

[Coho]

Brian,

5% is way too low. Your SO is a keeper.

 

[Syl]

Wow. Never heard of this first-hand before.
My wife works for about the same I do. We each have our own accounts as well as a joint account. All the household bills and costs come from the joint account (to which we both contribute). Whatever is left in our own respective accounts is ours to do with.
So no, I don't give an allowance, and if I ever had to, I'd wonder why she needed it.

 

[Dragon]

The only cases I have given allowances were when they were not genuine relationships.

On the other hand she might expect you to be the main breadwinner in the future (if your relationship get`s serious), but I would imagine that she would spend some of her money on you in return too. Also, in some cases they will save the allowance (or even more) towards marriage costs. So it could be bad or good...you should look into it further.