Do you give your SO an allowance?

[Brian SD]

Ugh. Well, I suppose this thread was bound for disaster the minute I clicked "Post Thread."

 

[Matt]

nah man, it was doomed long before then. You were screwed sometime around the first installment....

 

[slycedbred]

Originally Posted by GQgeek

Honestly, there's no chance in hell i'd tolerate my wife giving 10-20% of her income away unless I was really loaded and didn't need to worry about money at all. It's great that her parents raised her well and that she feels some gratitude towards them, but once you tie the knot that money should be going towards your own family/kids imo. It's fine to help-out once in a while if they're desperate, but if you give it to them every month, it becomes an expectation, and their living expenses will rise to require that money.

Do your parents not deserve a constant thanks for raising you for 18+ years of your life while simultaneously probably having a very ****** time themselves?

Personally, I'd rather have my parents live a life of leisure before even I do...It's the least I can do.

 

[constant struggle]

my parents are already loaded, im not giving them my money

they are in cancun right now while im sittin in the basement

 

[Brian SD]

What I learned today:

I'm in an exchanged based relationship, which is inherently unhealthy. I'm also part of the Asian family structure, and I am completely fucked. My only option is to dump my girlfriend, or forever be miserable. On the upside, I can ground my girlfriend if she does something bad, and grind her if she does something good.

 

[slycedbred]

Originally Posted by Brian SD

What I learned today:

. On the upside, I can spank my girlfriend if she does something bad, and grind her if she does something good.

fixed.

 

[GQgeek]

Originally Posted by m@T

nah man, it was doomed long before then. You were screwed sometime around the first installment....

Originally Posted by slycedbred

Do your parents not deserve a constant thanks for raising you for 18+ years of your life while simultaneously probably having a very ****** time themselves?

Personally, I'd rather have my parents live a life of leisure before even I do...It's the least I can do.

Honestly, I have never met any parents that expected their kids to make contributions towards them once they were adults. Parents have kids because they want kids. Most parents don't have kids in the expectation of some pay-off when they're 60. At least in western countries... Just saw what mat wrote.

Like I said, it's fine to help-out once in a while if they are in need, but most young adults have their own lives to build. I can't imagine trying to save for a house or put away for my own retirement giving away 10-20% of everything I earned.

 

[kwilkinson]

Originally Posted by GQgeek

Honestly, I have never met any parents that expected their kids to make contributions towards them once they were adults. Parents have kids because they want kids. Most parents don't have kids in the expectation of some pay-off when they're 60. At least in western countries... Just saw what mat wrote.

Like I said, it's fine to help-out once in a while if they are in need, but most young adults have their own lives to build. I can't imagine trying to save for a house or put away for my own retirement giving away 10-20% of everything I earned.

Exactly. It's not like my parents don't deserve something for supporting me for so long. It's just that they don't expect 15% of my salary to make up for it. I like to think that seeing the man I've grown into gives them some sort of satisfaction (probably not) in that they raised me well. I'm only 21, and they're only 54 and 49 respectively, but I wouldn't mind helping support them in some way in the future. There are many ways to help support them without having to give them a cut of your paycheck though.

Also, my father likes to point out pretty often that as soon as he retires, he's going to be moving in with me and walking around in Depends, expecting me to change them. He says it will be a nice payback to having changed my ****** diapers for years.

 

[Brian SD]

Like I said, it's fine to help-out once in a while if they are in need, but most young adults have their own lives to build. I can't imagine trying to save for a house or put away for my own retirement giving away 10-20% of everything I earned.

It's all situational. It may be hard to imagine how you'd save when you're figuring in your current monthly payments and still giving money to your parents, but expenses are different here... For example, it's generally one car per family, if that. Very few people go in debt for any reason - student loans, credit card bills, etc, and most everyone rents, too. Monthly expenses from what I've seen are alloted towards just food and transportation, so working and living in Korean society can net you a pretty good amount of money for saving. I save almost triple the amount monthly that my friend in New York saves, and he makes more than I do as well.

 

[Dragon]

Like someone already mentioned, it is completely normal for one to send back a portion of their earnings every month to the family. This is not only true for poor people, it is just part of the culture. Sure, it might be different from western culture, but so are a lot of other things.

If she is disciplined enough to send back money to her family, I would not be surprised if she is saving the allowance towards the relationship in the future (marriage ceremony costs, etc.).

 

[alliswell]

Originally Posted by Brian SD

What I learned today:

I'm in an exchanged based relationship, which is inherently unhealthy. I'm also part of the Asian family structure, and I am completely fucked. My only option is to dump my girlfriend, or forever be miserable. On the upside, I can ground my girlfriend if she does something bad, and grind her if she does something good.

This situation is tolerable, with the proviso that your girlfriend is prepared to notice and remedy the following situations:

a) you have a dry glass
b) you have a dry dick

Otherwise you're hosed. A friend of mine says that 'You'll never win with a woman; just breaking even means you're better than most.' You're starting out way behind.

 

[slycedbred]

Originally Posted by GQgeek

Honestly, I have never met any parents that expected their kids to make contributions towards them once they were adults. Parents have kids because they want kids. Most parents don't have kids in the expectation of some pay-off when they're 60. At least in western countries... Just saw what mat wrote.

Like I said, it's fine to help-out once in a while if they are in need, but most young adults have their own lives to build. I can't imagine trying to save for a house or put away for my own retirement giving away 10-20% of everything I earned.

I never said that my parents expect it of me...In fact, they've never even mentioned it. I'm saying that it sounds perfectly reasonable.

 

[Piobaire]

Brain, my best advice to you is to never visit this thread again and if what you are doing makes you happy, keep doing it. You are not going to change your girlfriend, her upbringing, or her family. If it all fits into what you want, you're set.

 

[Arethusa]

Originally Posted by Brian SD

What I learned today: I'm in an exchanged based relationship, which is inherently unhealthy.
The former half of that, at least, is what it looks like to a guy on an internet forum who knows maybe two paragraphs about your relationship with your girlfriend. The latter is my judgement, and I don't really expect most or even particularly many people to do relationships the same way I do.

 

[kalice]

Originally Posted by kwilkinson

Is this all for real, or are you just messin with him?


completely normal. That's one of the reasons Asian families have children.