Official Wedding Attire Question/Answer/Picture Thread

[archibaldleach]

@abl, unless you are going with a tan linen suit or something that truly clashes with black (navy does not), wear black shoes for your wedding. They will look great with a light grey suit or even darker suits. AE Park Avenues in black will be fine.

I would not wear a tuxedo to this wedding. I love black tie as much as the next guy and try to find an excuse to wear my tuxedo when I can, but not for a 3:00PM ceremony, especially not one that is outdoors during the summer. A light grey suit in a lighter wool that is half or quarter lined is not a bad choice. If their suits fit you well, SuitSupply is a pretty decent option. Wear a light grey suit with a white shirt and either a wedding tie or a nice navy solid.

 

[Veremund]

If her dress is truly formal, then you should wear a morning coat. Then change into your tuxedo for the evening. Tuxedos are ONLY for the evening, not the daytime.

Read these now:

http://www.blacktieguide.com/Supplemental/Morning_Dress.htm

http://www.blacktieguide.com/Supplemental/Weddings.htm

 

[unbelragazzo]

How about a red flower in the lapel? It's kind of like pink except it's not. You're so much deeper and darker than she is.

How about a midnight suit with peak lapels? Then it's more celebratory than a normal suit but not quite a tuxedo. White shirt, white pocket square, black shoes, any number of ties e.g. http://vandafineclothing.com/store/neckties/271-blue-white-pindots.html

 

[ImTheGroom]

@abl you could wear a stroller, which is a category of morning dress, but not sure if you meant to include that. It's an option, and not business wear in this day and age. I wore a black worsted morning coat to my wedding, and I was fine temperature wise, even though the coat was very heavy. We were outside, on August 31st, for about 2 hours. One of the things I read early on when researching for my fit, pointed out that often people only judge a fabric for hot weather by its weight, and forget to consider the openness of the weave. It pointed out that, often, a heavier fabric can wear cooler, because of wider, more open weave, allowing it to breathe more. So, that is something to consider, when looking at fabrics.
If you do a light grey suit, then I think you have a good idea. I agree with @archibaldleach that black Oxfords are the way to go for shoes. Have you considered a navy, or charcoal, with peaks, or double breasted? Something different than you would normally wear for business. A navy or charcoal, summer weight, suit with peak lapels would also be useful to wear to other spring and summer weddings.
Also remember that, in May, the evenings will still be cool, so you may want a year round weight, rather than a summer weight.
As for shirt, and tie, that will depend on the suit. If you want to wear a bow tie, and you think you will look best in a bow tie, go ahead and wear one. Many people on here wear bow ties with suits from time to time. Don't do it just because you want to be different/special for the wedding day, if it's not something you genuinely like. Bow ties tend to look better with three piece suits, imo. I would make sure you don't look like you're trying to fake a Tuxedo, so don't wear a black bow tie, and don't match it to your suit colour. Wear the same type of colour, and pattern, on a bow tie, as you would with a four in hand, with the same suit.
Nothing wrong with a pink boutonniere, if you want to match the bouquet. Pink looks good with most shades of grey, or navy. I like a single flower through the buttonhole, personally. I did white, so that it didn't interfere, or get too matchy, with the colours in the rest of my fit.

 

[abl]

Thanks for the replies!

@Veremund I understand that a morning suit is the "correct" level of formality, but I (a) want to buy something that I'll have a shot at wearing some other time in my life, and (b) looked silly in the one morning jacket that I tried on (at my height, the longer tails makes me look like a kid playing dress-up or something). My #1 preference would be do wear a light grey suit for the ceremony and change into a tux when it get closer to sunset (maybe around 8) -- but buying TWO nice suits just isn't remotely in my budget.

@archibaldleach I didn't actually know that about brown shoes. I've seen others do cherry brown shoes w/ lighter grey suits -- is the problem that it's a wedding? I'd hoped to avoid my AE PAs because they're my interview shoes and I, well, don't want to feel like I'm at an interview.

@unbelragazzo I'd considered midnight blue, but I am really, really nervous about getting hot. Any tips about finding a darker-colored suit that's not going to cook me in the sun? Good to know about the red flower -- so you think a red flower in my lapel will work if her bouquet is a light pink?

@ImTheGroom Strollers require a vest, right? I'm looking to avoid that. I also do want to get something I'll be able to wear occasionally afterwords, and suspect that as correct as morning dress is, there just isn't many occasions to don it anymore in the US. Re: a loose weave -- any sense for how to figure that out? The guys who helped me the last time I was at Suit Supply didn't seem to be familiar, on that level, with their suits (but maybe I'm wrong?). And that's great to know about bowties and boutonniers.

 

[Veremund]

I got my tuxedo off eBay for 20 bucks. You could too. What's your suit size?

 

[unbelragazzo]



@unbelragazzo I'd considered midnight blue, but I am really, really nervous about getting hot. Any tips about finding a darker-colored suit that's not going to cook me in the sun? Good to know about the red flower -- so you think a red flower in my lapel will work if her bouquet is a light pink?

The weight and weave of the fabric is more important in determining how hot you are than the color. Also, if it's hot outside, you're just going to be hot, no matter what you wear. There are no suits with built-in air conditioners. But if you can find something with an open weave (these fresco-type fabrics are unfortunately expensive and tough to find on RTW suits) and unlined then it won't be too bad.

 

[abl]



I got my tuxedo off eBay for 20 bucks. You could too. What's your suit size?

I'm a 36S or 37S depending on the specific suit.

 

[random-adam]

My brother-in-law wore a medium gray suit to his entirely-outdoor end-of-June Maryland wedding last year and rocked it. I and the other groomsmen wore varying shades of gray suit, and it all looked damn good.

I'll have to agree with everyone else that a tuxedo is, for every reason that it exists, not the way to go. A morning suit would be fantastic if you could justify the expense; I thought about it for my own wedding a few years ago but ended up MTM'ing a gray three-piece (1B peak lapels) instead for practical reasons. It's since gotten lots of play for holiday parties, other folks' weddings... hell, even toned down for a couple of funerals. Black captoe oxfords are perfect for the occasion -- they're the most formal shoes you could wear with a suit, and just right for what's widely considered the most important shindig of your life.

Unbel hit it on the head, I think. A peak-lapel suit (avoid stripes) with all the spiffed-up goodies: cufflinks, white pocket square, black oxfords, wedding-patterned tie, and maybe a single white carnation or similar simple flower in the buttonhole. Nobody will consider you underdressed.

 

[ImTheGroom]

@ImTheGroom Strollers require a vest, right? I'm looking to avoid that. I also do want to get something I'll be able to wear occasionally afterwords, and suspect that as correct as morning dress is, there just isn't many occasions to don it anymore in the US. Re: a loose weave -- any sense for how to figure that out? The guys who helped me the last time I was at Suit Supply didn't seem to be familiar, on that level, with their suits (but maybe I'm wrong?). And that's great to know about bowties and boutonniers.

Yes, strollers require a vest. Essentially, you replace the morning coat with a black, or charcoal, blazer, with one button and peak lapels (could be two button, and could be borrowed from a suit). You also would wear a homburg, or bowler, rather than top hat, if you wanted a hat. One of the things I actually liked about morning dress, was that my shirt, tie, pants, and even the vest, could be worn again, for lots of things. I went with checked pants, and you could go with any striped, or plain, grey pants. Only the morning coat isn't wearable on a regular basis. I'm 5'7", and 38S, (sometimes even a 36S) and, if it fits well, a morning coat should actually make you look taller. I got my morning coat for $127, shipping included, from savvyrow.co.uk. Theoretically, you could assemble all of the other pieces from your existing wardrobe - vest from a mid grey three piece, pants from a pinstriped, or solid, charcoal suit, shirt and tie. You could even do the pants and vest from the same suit, something like this:



I'm completely biased toward morning dress, and I realize it's not actually what you want, so I'll shut up about it now.

As to the useful information, pertaining to what you want to wear, does suitsupply have fabric samples? Really you can only do it by look, and feel. How opaque, or translucent, a material is should give you some idea, though it is not definitive.

I also changed into a Tuxedo for our evening reception. I spent around $1000 on both outfits. I got my Tuxedo vintage for $140, and the whole black tie rig, shoes and alterations included, was around $400. The single most expensive item was my pants for the ceremony; I paid about $200 for them, but they are a great pair of odd pants I know I'll get lots of wear out of. What do SuitSupply's suits go for?

 

[archibaldleach]



Thanks for the replies!

@archibaldleach I didn't actually know that about brown shoes. I've seen others do cherry brown shoes w/ lighter grey suits -- is the problem that it's a wedding? I'd hoped to avoid my AE PAs because they're my interview shoes and I, well, don't want to feel like I'm at an interview.

Black shoes are generally regarded as more formal and conservative and for certain things in life (weddings, interviews, business attire galas) are the better choice. I also prefer black shoes when I am wearing a blazer and greys or suit and tie in the evening. I'd try to think of the AE Park Avenue as a special occasion shoe rather than an interview shoe. They work well for interviews too but are also fine for weddings and the like.

 

[ellsbebc]

My wedding is outdoors in a garden in two month's time. The bridesmaids will be wearing lightweight spring/summer navy dresses. This leads me to three questions.
1) With the bridesmaids wearing navy dresses, this forces me to opt for my mid grey over a navy suit, no?
2) Assuming I proceed with mid grey suit, the groomsmen will wear their own personal grey suits. Would charcoal be out of place? I would think not but seeking opinions.
3) Would opting for the standard black/grey/white ties in houndstooth, shepard's check, or PoW be too monochrome? My initial reaction is to pair grey suits with navy but that would come off as matchy matchy to the bridesmaid dresses.

 

[ImTheGroom]

My wedding is outdoors in a garden in two month's time. The bridesmaids will be wearing lightweight spring/summer navy dresses. This leads me to three questions.
1) With the bridesmaids wearing navy dresses, this forces me to opt for my mid grey over a navy suit, no?
2) Assuming I proceed with mid grey suit, the groomsmen will wear their own personal grey suits. Would charcoal be out of place? I would think not but seeking opinions.
3) Would opting for the standard black/grey/white ties in houndstooth, shepard's check, or PoW be too monochrome? My initial reaction is to pair grey suits with navy but that would come off as matchy matchy to the bridesmaid dresses.

1) I don't think it forces you, but it sounds like you don't like the idea, so go with your mid grey, or a new grey suit, if you're so inclined.
2) I think multiple shades of grey is fine. I actually wish I'd given my guys more freedom on their shades of grey, since they are the ones that now own the suits.
3) My groomsmen wore grey ties with grey suits, white shirts, white PS, black shoes. I think it looked great. I think you're right that navy ties risk being matchy. However, with mismatched, various, navy ties, and a classic combination like grey suit/navy tie, it's not going to come across as a prom look. But, again, seems you don't like the idea of navy ties, so don't do it. Lots of things go with grey suits. Sage green ties could look great with mid-grey, for example. Grey ties are also going to look good, too.

 

[abl]



Yes, strollers require a vest. Essentially, you replace the morning coat with a black, or charcoal, blazer, with one button and peak lapels (could be two button, and could be borrowed from a suit). You also would wear a homburg, or bowler, rather than top hat, if you wanted a hat. One of the things I actually liked about morning dress, was that my shirt, tie, pants, and even the vest, could be worn again, for lots of things. I went with checked pants, and you could go with any striped, or plain, grey pants. Only the morning coat isn't wearable on a regular basis. I'm 5'7", and 38S, (sometimes even a 36S) and, if it fits well, a morning coat should actually make you look taller. I got my morning coat for $127, shipping included, from savvyrow.co.uk. Theoretically, you could assemble all of the other pieces from your existing wardrobe - vest from a mid grey three piece, pants from a pinstriped, or solid, charcoal suit, shirt and tie. You could even do the pants and vest from the same suit, something like this: I'm completely biased toward morning dress, and I realize it's not actually what you want, so I'll shut up about it now. As to the useful information, pertaining to what you want to wear, does suitsupply have fabric samples? Really you can only do it by look, and feel. How opaque, or translucent, a material is should give you some idea, though it is not definitive. I also changed into a Tuxedo for our evening reception. I spent around $1000 on both outfits. I got my Tuxedo vintage for $140, and the whole black tie rig, shoes and alterations included, was around $400. The single most expensive item was my pants for the ceremony; I paid about $200 for them, but they are a great pair of odd pants I know I'll get lots of wear out of. What do SuitSupply's suits go for?

Yea, I just can't sell my fiancee on the morning dress thing. That's good to know about vintage tuxes. Any tips about where to find 'em? I have some sense on suit brands, but tuxes seem often to be made by different people (so when I've previously looked for tuxes on ebay I've felt pretty lost). I may look to do a costume change, as hilarious as that may be. Suit supply starts at about $450 and mostly spans the $500-1,000 range. You generally get half or full-canvassing and working buttonholes for that price ... and the fabrics generally seem nice. Re lapel flowers, I'm currently leaning towards lily of the valley or maybe white statice. Thoughts about how that'll look with a light grey / midnight blue suit (and my fiancee's light pink peony bouquet)? Finally, am I going to be able to dress a light grey suit up to a formal enough level without a vest? What about if it's a notch-lapel light grey suit?

 

[ImTheGroom]

If you know your materials, and can tell the difference between full canvassed, half canvassed, and fused, don't worry about brands, and just try to get something that seems to be good quality to you. That's how I approach vintage shopping, generally. Consignment stores, thrift stores (they have more good stuff than you think!), and eBay are the best suggestions I have. As for local stores, you're probably best to search the boards for info for your city, and post up a new thread if there isn't one. You could also try asking on the vintage, and thrift threads.

I think light grey with peaks is contrived; I would go notches. I think it needs to be a three piece, honestly, if you're going to do a light suit.