Guests who bring wine - etiquette

gdl203 · Apr 20, 2010

Again, where I come from, it doesn't matter if the wine is good or not. It's common courtesy to acknowledge and open the bottle that guests brought. It's a matter of being a good and friendly host.

But I now understand that the etiquette is very different here. I was not aware of it.

itsstillmatt · Apr 20, 2010

Originally Posted by gdl203

Again, where I come from, it doesn't matter if the wine is good or not. It's common courtesy to acknowledge and open the bottle that guests brought. It's a matter of being a good and friendly host.

But I now understand that the etiquette is very different here. I was not aware of it.
With our neighbors in the country of your country, the tradition seems to be to serve the wine brought as a gift the next time that you go to their house for dinner. Don't know why this is, but it seems like a nice concept. We have tried to copy it here, if we can remember.

SkinnyGoomba · Apr 20, 2010

Thats my culture as well GDL, as a host I open the wine my guests bring as a guest I've always had the host open the bottle. Not by my request, they just always open it and put it on the table.

If it was a gift I would specifically tell them its a gift for them.

gdl203 · Apr 20, 2010

Originally Posted by iammatt

With our neighbors in the country of your country, the tradition seems to be to serve the wine brought as a gift the next time that you go to their house for dinner. Don't know why this is, but it seems like a nice concept. We have tried to copy it here, if we can remember.

In my experience, you open the guests' bottles after the already opened host bottle(s) are finished. This can mean that you don't get to open it at all that same night, in which case you make sure to open it and put it on the table the next time they're over.

itsstillmatt · Apr 20, 2010

Originally Posted by gdl203

In my experience, you open the guests' bottles after the already opened host bottle(s) are finished. This can mean that you don't get to open it at all that same night, in which case you make sure to open it and put it on the table the next time they're over.
Makes sense to me. I think I'll do that in the future. I don't like the idea of feeling compelled to serve the guest wine first. It just doesn't make sense to drink something like a big red wine if we are serving ceviche.

Piobaire · Apr 20, 2010

Originally Posted by iammatt

With our neighbors in the country of your country, the tradition seems to be to serve the wine brought as a gift the next time that you go to their house for dinner. Don't know why this is, but it seems like a nice concept. We have tried to copy it here, if we can remember.

That is a nice custom.

When I bring wine, people open it. I always find out what's on the menu prior and bring a bottle to match. Unsurprisingly, people want to drink the wine I bring.

To be frank about guests that bring wine here, it's usually for dinner outside, and the wine tends to be best for cooking with so I don't serve it.

gdl203 · Apr 20, 2010

Originally Posted by iammatt

Makes sense to me. I think I'll do that in the future. I don't like the idea of feeling compelled to serve the guest wine first. It just doesn't make sense to drink something like a big red wine if we are serving ceviche.

Of course, I agree with that. The food/wine mismatch can be such that it doesn't make sense to open it that night but when that's the case, I say something about, e.g. since we're eating fish tonight, should we keep the bordeaux for next time?

JohnGalt · Apr 20, 2010

Originally Posted by gdl203

Weird... in my world, bringing wine to a dinner is not bringing a "gift" but bringing something to participate in the dinner. I find it completely normal and actually very friendly, polite and flattering to see the bottle I brought opened before or during dinner. It tells me that the host acknowledged the contribution and thinks I picked a wine nice enough for his table.

Same with bringing some desserts / cake / ice cream. I never really considered this as bringing a "gift" but rather sharing something with your hosts around the dinner table.

I actually find it very odd and a bit rude when we bring something and the host barely looks at it, says thanks and puts it on the side somewhere, never to be seen again. Now that I read the answers in this thread, I'll chalk it up to cultural differences in the future and will try not to feel offended.

Same here. Is 203 your location? If so, perhaps that would explain why we were thinking along the same line.

gdl203 · Apr 20, 2010

Originally Posted by JohnGalt

Same here. Is 203 your location? If so, perhaps that would explain why we were thinking along the same line.

Not my location. I think I was just the 203rd gdl. I have not met any of the first 202 ones.

Kyoung05 · Apr 20, 2010

Originally Posted by gdl203

Again, where I come from, it doesn't matter if the wine is good or not. It's common courtesy to acknowledge and open the bottle that guests brought. It's a matter of being a good and friendly host.

Originally Posted by gdl203

Location: Somewhere between the face and the palm

Well, that explains it then.

But seriously, when I bring to someone's house, I really don't think of it as a gift for the host (maybe because I'm not going to formal dinner parties, but rather, casual get-togethers). Rather, I'm bringing it because, IMO, it will be leaps and bounds better than the Robert Mondavi/Clos Du Bois crap the host-who-knows-nothing-about-wine bought at Costco at the last minute.

SkinnyGoomba · Apr 20, 2010

Clos Du Bois is fine IMO for most get-togethers.

Blackhood · Apr 20, 2010

Then you need better friends or lower standards. I'd never go to a friend's gathering and bring something simply because what they provided wasn't good enough for me.

@KYoung05

Kyoung05 · Apr 20, 2010

Originally Posted by Blackhood

Then you need better friends or lower standards.

@KYoung05

Probably the latter.

smoothglider · Apr 20, 2010

Originally Posted by kwilkinson

If it goes with the food, i MIGHT think about it. If it doesn't go with the food, I'm not going to serve a wine just b/c someone brought it. And you should never bring a wine to a party expecting it to be served that night, unless the host specifically asked you to bring that bottle IMO.

This is similar too what I belive/is used to. When it comes to bringing dessert/cakes/etc I'd say things are different.

Doc4 · Apr 20, 2010

Is it really so hard to open the guest's wine?

Presumably you invited them to enjoy their company, not to be anal about food pairings and "bottle shock"? If the wine is obviously in need of a decade or two in the cellar (2004 Vintage Port &c), or if the guest indicates that this is a gift for later, make a fuss about it and get it into the cellar ASAP ... otherwise it goes on the kitchen counter with the other wines that the other guests brought and gets opened as the evening goes on.

Guests who bring wine - etiquette

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