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- Mar 14, 2006
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I met this guy in a business meeting and he was oddly attractive in his demeanor. He's not my type at all and I don't really date guys (especially in business) but I could tell he was gay because of the really false act he was putting on in front of the rest of the red-blooded macho crowd. I would never ask a guy out on a date really but the interest in him perplexed me a lot. My homosexual encounters generally revolve around longtime gay acquaintances and a mutual understanding that it's just for fun (a gay friend with benefits if you will). Like I said, the guy is attractive to me but I have absolutely no way of further pursuing the attraction and since it is business I'm not sure I'd want to. I tend to date women exclusively though lately I've been turning away a lot of dates for personal reasons. Even though I would never date this man it seems odd to me to actually want to date a man in the first place since my social and sexual interactions are usually accomplished with different parties that for the most part don't know each other at all. I've never really had the 'whole package' -- total physical and emotional attraction to one particular person and here I don't necessarily have it either. I tend to place a much bigger standard on emotional attraction which often leaves me having fun with guy friends while girls try to get my attention but I'm simply not interested (most are immature). For this reason I have a decent string of one night stands and short dating periods with girls despite long and meaningful friendships with both sexes. The whole experience raised this question: is sexuality getting in the way of emotional attraction or is the bar for both simply too high?
I don't think you've set the bar too high; when you finally find it, it is that much more meaningful because you haven't wasted that sentiment on too many others. The "confusion" word being thrown around doesn't fit in; you know you aren't confused. You seem, actually, to be one of the more personally honest posters here. I'd say that the important thing is not to try to overanalyze it; this is what I do/did and it just makes everything a big mess. Trust your feelings/yourself and take a few chances doing something that you might normally do/expect. One's feelings (emotional, physical, etc.) are simultaneously very complicated and bewilderingly simple. I don't think we really need, ideally, to sit and figure them all out.
you had a crush. It happens. But seriosuly, friendly flirting at work is some of the most fun I have had a work. Also, sometimes you get the 'work wife' which is cool. I met one of my best girlfriends was via work (different companies). We got stuck working on stuff together, always had shows to go to. Its kinda nice cause we have a built in conversation about work stuff.
I agree. Work flirting makes the drudgery go by faster. Unfortunately, I work with ReALLY unattractive people and so there is very little flirting.