• Hi, I am the owner and main administrator of Styleforum. If you find the forum useful and fun, please help support it by buying through the posted links on the forum. Our main, very popular sales thread, where the latest and best sales are listed, are posted HERE

    Purchases made through some of our links earns a commission for the forum and allows us to do the work of maintaining and improving it. Finally, thanks for being a part of this community. We realize that there are many choices today on the internet, and we have all of you to thank for making Styleforum the foremost destination for discussions of menswear.
  • This site contains affiliate links for which Styleforum may be compensated.
  • STYLE. COMMUNITY. GREAT CLOTHING.

    Bored of counting likes on social networks? At Styleforum, you’ll find rousing discussions that go beyond strings of emojis.

    Click Here to join Styleforum's thousands of style enthusiasts today!

    Styleforum is supported in part by commission earning affiliate links sitewide. Please support us by using them. You may learn more here.

Dating call back question…

lightsky

Active Member
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
42
Reaction score
0
Originally Posted by imageWIS
How so?

Jon.


when you put a woman on a pedestal and think of her as someone "special", you become too serious too soon. she will sense this and back away from the pressure to match your seriousness.

if you had just approached her like you do your "f*#kbodies" and tried to seduce her, then you may have gotten a different result.
 

Saucemaster

Sized Down 2
Joined
Mar 9, 2006
Messages
6,510
Reaction score
23
Originally Posted by lawyerdad
Perhaps a better title would be "**** So Obvious Lawyerdad Should Have Figured It Out Much Sooner Than He did."

See, that one's too long. We gain more by playing you off as a plainspoken authority figure. I've got this figured out, man, let me handle it. For a while I had them going on this Hannity and Colmes style thing with you and Manton, but then I accidentally used the word "erudite" in describing the show during a meeting, and all the sponsorship fell right through.
 

imageWIS

Stylish Dinosaur
Joined
Apr 19, 2004
Messages
19,716
Reaction score
106
Originally Posted by lightsky
when you put a woman on a pedestal and think of her as someone "special", you become too serious too soon. she will sense this and back away from the pressure to match your seriousness.

if you had just approached her like you do your "f*#kbodies" and tried to seduce her, then you may have gotten a different result.


Dude, all I was trying to do was get a decent third date, not marry her. But if she would only give me the time of day when it suited her, then I was just being used and it was not worth it. She can’t be busy every damn Friday and Saturday!

Jon.
 

lawyerdad

Lying Dog-faced Pony Soldier
Joined
Mar 10, 2006
Messages
27,006
Reaction score
17,145
Originally Posted by Saucemaster
See, that one's too long. We gain more by playing you off as a plainspoken authority figure. I've got this figured out, man, let me handle it. For a while I had them going on this Hannity and Colmes style thing with you and Manton, but then I accidentally used the word "erudite" in describing the show during a meeting, and all the sponsorship fell right through.

As long as I don't have to dress up for it, I guess that's ok.
 

lightsky

Active Member
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
42
Reaction score
0
Originally Posted by imageWIS
Dude, all I was trying to do was get a decent third date, not marry her. But if she would only give me the time of day when it suited her, then I was just being used and it was not worth it. She can’t be busy every damn Friday and Saturday!

Jon.


if it was only about getting a 3rd date, then why all the fuss?

from what you've posted here, it sounds like more than just getting another date. and unless you're a great actor, i'm pretty sure you betrayed your true feelings to her - ie, you acted in a very different way around her than you would have if your feelings hadn't gotten way ahead of your situation.

questions: when you guys were together, did you laugh a lot? or did you talk mostly about serious stuff? and how did you try to show her you were interested in sex? did you try to kiss her?
 

imageWIS

Stylish Dinosaur
Joined
Apr 19, 2004
Messages
19,716
Reaction score
106
Originally Posted by lightsky
if it was only about getting a 3rd date, then why all the fuss?

from what you've posted here, it sounds like more than just getting another date. and unless you're a great actor, i'm pretty sure you betrayed your true feelings to her - ie, you acted in a very different way around her than you would have if your feelings hadn't gotten way ahead of your situation.

questions: when you guys were together, did you laugh a lot? or did you talk mostly about serious stuff? and how did you try to show her you were interested in sex? did you try to kiss her?


Of course I kissed her (and more), and most of the discussions were full of laughter, nothing too serious in terms of discussion.

And how can you honestly tell me that her not wanting to see me on a weekend night, and letting me know that she won’t be able to do so for the next 3 weekends doesn’t raise a red flag?

Jon.
 

Ambulance Chaser

Stylish Dinosaur
Supporting Member
Joined
Mar 7, 2002
Messages
13,962
Reaction score
10,080
Originally Posted by imageWIS
And how can you honestly tell me that her not wanting to see me on a weekend night, and letting me know that she won't be able to do so for the next 3 weekends doesn't raise a red flag?
Wow. This is a big neon sign stating, "I DON'T LIKE YOU IN THE SAME WAY YOU LIKE ME"
 

GQgeek

Stylish Dinosaur
Joined
Mar 4, 2002
Messages
16,568
Reaction score
84
Originally Posted by imageWIS
That's what I'm thinking. And if so, then I was not doing well, if she put me on the back burner.

Jon.


were you paying? ;p
 

ccardill

Member
Joined
Sep 8, 2006
Messages
15
Reaction score
0
I was in a similar situation recently, turns out the girl had a boyfriend.

Anyway, this girl is just testing you to see if you're getting attached to quickly because she clearly doesn't want a long distance relationship. Bottom line is, call her up, ask her to come over on Sunday night to hang out, watch a movie, have some drinks etc. and if she says yes, then you know she just wants to have some fun and if she says no then you move on. This is probably obvious, but you can't come across needy at all so don't mention anything about her not making time or whatever, just play like everything is cool when you call her.
 

lightsky

Active Member
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
42
Reaction score
0
Originally Posted by imageWIS
Of course I kissed her (and more), and most of the discussions were full of laughter, nothing too serious in terms of discussion.

And how can you honestly tell me that her not wanting to see me on a weekend night, and letting me know that she won’t be able to do so for the next 3 weekends doesn’t raise a red flag?

Jon.


i didn't say anything about the weekends, but now that you mention it, it's only a "red flag" if you're serious. if you're not, then it doesn't mean anything. just go out whenever it's good for both of you and continue doing what you were doing (laughing and smooching).


Originally Posted by imageWIS
No ****. Which is marsupialed since she is the one that kept on saying that we were dating. And how she liked the date, etc...

Jon.


Originally Posted by imageWIS
She offered to pay for half (several times) of dinner, I said no, in retrospect I should have said yes.

Jon.


what a woman says and does aren't always the same things. i would lend more weight to her offer to go dutch than her statements about "dating". some guys "date" many girls at once. girls can do the same, so that word may not mean the same thing to her as it does to you.



Originally Posted by imageWIS
That’s what I’m thinking. And if so, then I was not doing well, if she put me on the back burner.

Jon.



so what? at least you're in the rotation. you've only just met this girl. she has a right to see other guys if she wants.
 

lawyerdad

Lying Dog-faced Pony Soldier
Joined
Mar 10, 2006
Messages
27,006
Reaction score
17,145
Originally Posted by lightsky
so what? at least you're in the rotation. you've only just met this girl. she has a right to see other guys if she wants.

And jon has the right not to be 4th in line if he doesn't want to. Jon didn't say she isn't free to date other guys. He said it isn't worth the hassle to him if she can never make time for him on weekend evenings. It's not about judgment, it's about deciding what does or doesn't work for you.
 

Featured Sponsor

How important is full vs half canvas to you for heavier sport jackets?

  • Definitely full canvas only

    Votes: 95 38.0%
  • Half canvas is fine

    Votes: 91 36.4%
  • Really don't care

    Votes: 27 10.8%
  • Depends on fabric

    Votes: 42 16.8%
  • Depends on price

    Votes: 38 15.2%

Forum statistics

Threads
507,098
Messages
10,593,728
Members
224,356
Latest member
Illuminatiagentug
Top