You need better ties. Buy mine. Drake's, EG Capelli, Exquisite Trimmings, raw silk, grenadine, and m

[mymil]

I'm moving. I have too many ties. Buy 'em.

I forgot to list the widths, I'll post that in a minute.

Assume all of them have been worn but are in very good condition. If it doesn't say it's self-tipped, assume it's not self-tipped. If it doesn't say it's un-tipped, assume it's tipped. If it doesn't say it's not silk, assume it's silk.

I'm selling some other ties that you can combine shipping with these:

• hipster ties (Hill-Side)
• crunchy knit ties

Shipping
Shipping to the US is $10 no matter how many ties you buy, so buy a lot. I accept payment via PayPal and Dwolla.

Imagine each tie in the group photos have a number, starting at 1, and that's the number below.

#1 EG Capelli navy geometric 3 1/4" - $100 $90 $80 $70

This tie is beautiful as ****. The depth of the navy is indescribable and will make you feel like an ocean of the greatest depth is draped across your gorgeous, powerful body. And the little cross things can be like sailboats or whatever, who cares, this is your weird fantasy.

#2 Polo Ralph Lauren brown polka dot 30% silk / 70% motherfucking cashmere 3 1/2" - $50 $45 $35 $30

Insanely soft hand, retro-ish polka dots. Women and men will want to touch this tie and whether you let them is entirely up to you.

#3 Exquisite Trimmings beige/brown herringbone self-tipped silk? linen? 3 1/2" - $80 $70 $60 $50

I don't know what this is. Is it linen? Is it silk? A blend? Who knows, who cares. It's like wearing a wheat field around your neck in the most opulent sense imaginable.

#4 Mariano Rubinacci navy printed grenadine (green + yellow circles) 4" - $30

This tie is weird and good. Printed grenadine from before either grenadine or printed grenadine was cool. Dark navy. Green and yellow cat's eyes. What the hell is Ritsi? If 4" is too wide for you, either grow a pair or send it to Tiecrafters for alterations.

#5 Exquisite Trimmings split pea green self-tipped shantung 3 1/2" - $80 $70

I'm going to say this is shantung (raw silk) and not linen, but it could be linen and not silk. Doesn't say. Either way it looks great. If you like split pea soup, this tie is going to make you hungry. If you don't like pea soup, this tie is still going to make you hungry only for ties and not for split pea soup. Oh, and the green is less saturated than it appears in the photo. It's better that way and you'll like it.

#6 Drake's blue on blue woven grenadine with dots 2 3/4" - $75 $65 $55

This tie is some kind of weird-ass woven silk thing so I guess it's grenadine, right? It overwhelms me with its pattern of blues and white dots so if you want to stun your enemies or potential predators this would be a good one to wear. Woven knots (obviously, it's Drake's).

#7 Drake's navy striped grenadine 3 1/4" - $85 $75

Classic. It's navy. It's grenadine. It's got stripes. It will make you look powerful, wise beyond your years, and sexually attractive.

#8 Rubinacci dark navy ancient? madder? 3 3/4" - $40

Soporific and dusty as hell. Darkest navy with dark yellow and red diamonds and squares. Is it truly ancient madder? We may never know. But the dusty finish is sublime and guaranteed to knock you the **** out in a napping way. You're going to take a nap, from wearing or maybe even just seeing this tie. Everyone around you will take a nap, too.

#9 Drake's red and white stripe untipped raw silk 2 3/4" - $75 $65 $55 $45

The rawest of raw silks, this tie is what a living cow is to an uncooked steak. What I'm trying to say is: it's raw. It's also bright. If you're worried about people swooning at the sight of you, don't buy this tie. But if you like ties like knives, this is for you. Also if that simile makes sense to you, this is for you.

#10 J. Press rainbow raw silk 3 1/2" - $40

The raw silk is very gently expressed by this PUNCH YOU IN THE GODDAMN TEETH WITH COLOR tie. Wear it to get reblogged on tumblr. http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lm486emIPN1qgdvjso1_1280.jpg Or wear it if you're my friend Clay.

#11 Alexander Olch grey chalk stripe flannel 2 3/4" - $20 $15 $10

Looks like a suit, but it's not a suit, it's a tie. Holy ****.

#12 Conrad Wu prototype **** you I changed my mind this isn't for sale
I'm sorry for what I said I just had a lot of sudden, unfamiliar feelings. Go buy an unfairly good-looking tie from Conrad Wu at full price. You won't regret it.

#13 Land's End burgundy and blue plaid 2 3/4" - $10 $5 or free if you buy 2 other ties

Perfect for the Young Republican in your life or anyone else who needs an excruciatingly boring, conservative tie but really just take this from me.

#14 The Knottery burgundy grenadine 3 1/4" - $25

Made in the USA. Better than you'd expect for a cheap grenadine. Wear the **** out of it because who cares if it gets a snag or two.

#15 The Knottery brown grenadine 3 1/4" - $20

See above. Has one small snag near the tip that I almost didn't even notice because it's almost impossible to see unless the angle of the light is exactly right.

 

[scatterbrain]

These tie descriptions are hilarious!

 

[ter1413]



These tie descriptions are hilarious!

+1

 

[TM79]

Those tie descriptions could only come from Portland. Awesome.

 

[mymil]

I can't pay for grad school (I'm going to grad school) with your laughter unless you buy my ties or hire me part-time to write your product copy.

P.S. drops!!!!!

 

[mymil]

More drops

 

[mymil]

Final drops, and some of the remaining ties are still nutso good!

 

[ShayaEXQT]

Amazing!!!

 

[clee1982]

some good stuff and good price too

 

[mymil]

Only a few ties left, and 4 of them are very beautiful.

 

[mymil]

Closed.