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You know what? I'm REALLY lonely.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by TyroneFig, May 5, 2009.

  1. TyroneFig

    TyroneFig Senior member

    Messages:
    213
    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2009
    Each year it wears on me like the effect of many miles of pavement on worn out shoes. I'm lonely as ****. No friends.. and what really makes me lonely is no girlfriend.
     
  2. bach

    bach Senior member

    Messages:
    1,110
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    May 5, 2008
    Each year it wears on me like the effect of many miles of pavement on worn out shoes. I'm lonely as ****. No friends.. and what really makes me lonely is no girlfriend.

    god, i wonder why

    http://www.styleforum.net/showthread.php?t=116103
     
  3. TyroneFig

    TyroneFig Senior member

    Messages:
    213
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    Feb 8, 2009
  4. tagutcow

    tagutcow Senior member

    Messages:
    10,618
    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2006
    Location:
    Greensboro NC
    I too am really lonely.

    No girlfriend. No real friends.

    I typically only get one phone call a week-- to go out and play pool.

    My living circumstances are humiliating. I can't relax or concentrate. I feel like I've been separated from my own creativity, which is really the source of my identity.

    How serious do you want me to get with this?
     
  5. brad-t

    brad-t Senior member

    Messages:
    18,535
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2008
    I too am really lonely.

    No girlfriend. No real friends.

    I typically only get one phone call a week-- to go out and play pool.

    My living circumstances are humiliating. I can't relax or concentrate. I feel like I've been separated from my own creativity, which is really the source of my identity.

    How serious do you want me to get with this?


    i'll hang with you bro [​IMG]
     
  6. Aperipan

    Aperipan Senior member

    Messages:
    630
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    Dec 15, 2008
    Location:
    Portland Principality
    Have you considered praying?
     
  7. TyroneFig

    TyroneFig Senior member

    Messages:
    213
    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2009
    Have you considered praying?

    Um no (were you serious?)
     
  8. mgoose

    mgoose Senior member

    Messages:
    306
    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2007
    Location:
    Canadia eh
    Straight up, get a job at a resteraunt on weekends or something. I moved to a new city after university for work, didn't know anyone, and the job I was doing I worked pretty much on my own, only interacting with customers and delivery people and a couple of people under me, anyways I did it for 3 years and hated this city and my life.

    Then my job ended, I picked up a stop gap job at a resteraunt, intending to do it for a few months until my place sold, and ended up having a great time and meeting great people.

    If that's not your forte (I think the transition from sales to server was easy because of the similar skill sets) then find something that is where you are forced to interact with people on a weekly basis.

    Anyways good luck man, I remember those friday and sat nights where i had nothing to do but hit the gym and rent a movie, it can get depressing.
     
  9. ysc

    ysc Senior member

    Messages:
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    Location:
    London
    ^ this sounds like good advice, clearly you have got to make a change. If you don't want a job join a club that does stuff you are interested in. Nothing will happen if you don't make it happen.
     
  10. Aperipan

    Aperipan Senior member

    Messages:
    630
    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2008
    Location:
    Portland Principality
    Um no (were you serious?)

    Yes I'm serious. There was a time in my life where I don't get enough time by myself. People would harass me to no end and I'd secretly wished they would all go away, by natural or unnatural means. Personal relationships weren't all that great for me either. These days, many of my friends are moving on and besides work I do have enough time to enjoy my own companion, but it does get lonely sometimes. In these times, I usually turn to Da Man. It feels like you have someone to talk to. I think keeping some type of faith is always good.
     
  11. Liam

    Liam Senior member

    Messages:
    298
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    Mar 23, 2009
    Maybe volunteer your time, you'll meet new people and help others as well.
    Chin up, wishing you better days!
     
  12. Milhouse

    Milhouse Senior member

    Messages:
    2,059
    Joined:
    May 11, 2007
    Try expatriating. All the normal issues of time, where to meet people, etc, PLUS cultural differences, language barriers, possibly racism, etc.

    It really helps the loneliness. What also really helps the loneliness is that in many foreign countries, the taxes on liquor are not as oppressive as in the US (I assume you're in the US and that is your home country). Thus it is cheaper to drink yourself into oblivion.

    That is one reason why there is such a high failure rate for expats in biz.

    Or, you can quit feeling sorry for yourself, realize that you can do something about it, go out and meet people, since you have two advantages: you speak the same language and you already know the culture.
     
  13. Jekyll

    Jekyll Senior member

    Messages:
    6,274
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    Jul 1, 2008
    I'm kinda in the same boat. I moved to where I'm living now six months ago. Before that I had lived in the same place for my whole life, so I've never had to start over like this. It doesn't help that this place is a wasteland.
    How serious do you want me to get with this?
    Go on... This doesn't make sense, you seem like a cool person. Maybe it's the hair?[​IMG]
     
  14. AntiHero84

    AntiHero84 Senior member

    Messages:
    2,425
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2008
    Location:
    Long Island
    Same here. I moved away from home two years ago, and all I have is school, some colleagues, and my girlfriend. Having a s/o helps, but she only moved here in the last year. The first year was torture. All I did on fri/sat night was some schoolwork and pound a few beers while watching a movie or listening to music.

    My girlfriend's actually having a bigger problem with loneliness than me. Moving home after 8 years of school left her with few friends and the ones who remained have moved on with their lives. She's recently started taking a sewing class which has helped take up some of her abundant free time. She hasn't really made any good friends, but the human contact has helped.

    As for myself, I'm finishing school soon and looking forward to actually having some free time. The question now is, where to go and how to meet people? I'm thinking a similar class might work (perhaps photography or some design class).
     
  15. Milhouse

    Milhouse Senior member

    Messages:
    2,059
    Joined:
    May 11, 2007
    Damn guys, seriously.

    All of this is just mental blocks, kind of like in that thread about asking out a clerk in a store.

    Here is your first assignment. Get a cup of coffee somewhere relatively not busy and strike up a conversation about something in the news. (I suggest coughing and saying "damn pig flu").

    think about it logically. . . YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY LONELY PERSON DAMN IT!!!

    That is right, other people want to meet people too.

    I just realized I should charge money for motivational speaking.

    From this point on, any more advice about this costs money. Please PM me.
     
  16. Lucky Strike

    Lucky Strike Senior member

    Messages:
    3,459
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    Mar 13, 2006
    Location:
    Norway
    Have you considered praying?
    Have you considered paying?
     
  17. Edward Appleby

    Edward Appleby Senior member

    Messages:
    3,246
    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2005
    Location:
    Cambridge/Texas
    I'm going to say the same thing I say in all of these threads, which is about half flippant and half deadly serious:

    al

    co

    hol.

    Social interactions have needed lubrication for thousands of years, and fortunately our stone age forebears found the perfect solution. No need to reinvent the wheel.

    Find a group of people (hiking club, book discussion group, softball team, whatever). Some of them will go to an establishment that serves booze at some point. Go with them. Drink with them. Repeat, and after a few iterations you will now have some friends.

    Try *.craigslist.org/act/ where *=your city.
     
  18. Davidko19

    Davidko19 Senior member

    Messages:
    2,411
    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2008
    Maybe volunteer your time, you'll meet new people and help others as well.

    Have you ever tried volunteering? I did meals on wheels for about 2 months when I was unemployed - just one day a week. Everyone there was crack heads and the guy running the place thought I was gay because surely no young, straight man would volunteer his time. It was something to occupy my time, but no one cool was there.


    Find a group of people (hiking club, book discussion group, softball team, whatever). Some of them will go to an establishment that serves booze at some point. Go with them. Drink with them. Repeat, and after a few iterations you will now have some friends.

    Try *.craigslist.org/act/ where *=your city.


    Im pretty lame and dont have "hobbies". Just telling someone to go find a club and make friends is tough when you dont do much. however, I have to agree with the point above.

    I moved to a new city and joined an adult kickball league for fun about 2 years ago. My commitment was only hanging out with these people once a week and having a little fun. But we drink at the field and go to the bars after all games and all became friends. Now I go to parties with them, weddings and have some other life outside of my usual one. We are very accepting of new people who want to join our group as we were all in the same boat at some point. Some people go away, some come in, but its always there.

    On the flip side, I joined a softball team and was historically bad. I mean, I struck out almost every at bat in SLOW pitch softball. They were weekend warrior types, super serious, didnt drink and were generally a-holes. But one guy I did become friends with and still talk to occasionally. Just know what kind of people you like.
     
  19. Jekyll

    Jekyll Senior member

    Messages:
    6,274
    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2008
    Just know what kind of people you like.

    Very few....[​IMG]
     
  20. TyroneFig

    TyroneFig Senior member

    Messages:
    213
    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2009
    Straight up, get a job at a resteraunt on weekends or something. I moved to a new city after university for work, didn't know anyone, and the job I was doing I worked pretty much on my own, only interacting with customers and delivery people and a couple of people under me, anyways I did it for 3 years and hated this city and my life.

    Then my job ended, I picked up a stop gap job at a resteraunt, intending to do it for a few months until my place sold, and ended up having a great time and meeting great people.

    If that's not your forte (I think the transition from sales to server was easy because of the similar skill sets) then find something that is where you are forced to interact with people on a weekly basis.

    Anyways good luck man, I remember those friday and sat nights where i had nothing to do but hit the gym and rent a movie, it can get depressing.


    I'll think about it.. but I have a retail job right now so I interact with people and I still feel just.. empty and lonely.

    I haven't done anything on a friday night for the last 5 years at least
     

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