Would you send your children to boarding school?

[GQgeek]

Originally Posted by Suicmez

I went to a private school, it was roughly 2/3 boarding students, 1/3 day students. I lived very close to the school (try across the street close) so I had the unique advantage of sampling both the boarding and the day student lifestyle. I definitely plan on sending my children there in the future, provided I end up with a career that allows me to do so. That being said, there are definitely some unique advantages to boarding school, as well as some disadvantages. Advantages -As mentioned before, small class size, really helped when you didn't understand a concept, and really focused on group dynamics, as opposed to larger classes which might be quite divided. -Most students at my school were there to learn, they weren't simply dumped there by mom and dad (some were, but they soon turned the way of the majority). It allowed a much more positive learning environment, and being smart and studious was the favourable attitude-for example, a good friend of mine was captain of the basketball team, yet he also held a 97% average. -The extracurriculars at my school were the real difference maker. The sports teams were families, there were countless student groups and organizations, and there were always events going on in the evening. It was a very camplike atmosphere. I could definitely list more, but I'll get to some disadvantages -Being at a school surrounded by those from well-to-do families definitely narrows one's scope in life. I came out of there almost afraid to not end up a doctor, a lawyer, or a successful businessman. It definitely made you a well-rounded individual, but the pressure to succeed was also much greater. I for one was already headed in that direction (asking my parents about good universities for sciences when I was as young as 10), but for other kids, I can imagine it being quite stressful -The school does make you a little bit snobby. The fact that you went to a private school is often exaggerated by other students at university who did not, and that can often feed your ego in a bad way. -It can be a curse. I get this feeling like I'm already labelled as a stuck up snob the moment I mention I went to a boarding school, even though I'm the opposite, and hate that type of person. However, the stereotype is there, and it can often intimidate people or predispose you to cynicism, so when the subject comes around when meeting someone new, I always refer to it as "my high school" and never mention the word boarding or private. Overall, I'm glad my parents sent me there, but you have to know how to deal with the pressure during and after, as well as the label you now have until you graduate university.
Depending on the school, academics can be much much stronger than public school. The first private school I went to had me sit through and entire day's worth of entrance exams (I was in grade 4) followed by individual interviews and then interviews with my parents. It was very competitive to get in and it was very competitive once I was in the school as well. We read all of narnia in grade 4. Shakespeare started in grade 7. And you really can't overstate the amount of cool **** you can do at some of these schools. I used to skate/climb during lunch hours. Our choir sung for the Pope (would prob want to stay away from catholic priests these days, but back in the day, it was pretty cool). Our hockey team played in europe and we stayed at some kid's castle. His dad covered everything. You make friends from all over the world, etc. Oh, and half-days on wednesday, with sports instead of class in the afternoon.

Plus, you tend to get longer vacations than public school kids. I think the benefits of being stuck in a class with kids from less fortunate backgrounds is overstated, personally. It's not like I went to university and couldn't function with the kids that went to public schools.

 

[Suicmez]

I had the same application format: Entrance exam, interview, interview with parents.
Also a very competitive school, I know some siblings of my classmates who didn't get in that were extremely bitter (proof that it wasn't all about the money).

I will admit that we did do some cool **** together. My school was very outdoors focused, so we did a lot of camping/expeditions together as part of our curriculum, and a lot of the experiments that we did in Science (Biology especially) were university level ones, simply because the school provided the funding for the materials. My friend's 18th birthday was similar to the castle experience, all inclusive weekend, his mom got the winners of So You Think You Can Dance Canada to come party with us, lol (I guess she's a talent agent/media agent/something in that field), it was pretty sweet. Plus it was in Quebec so we had some microbrewery supply the whole weekend, unreal stuff.
We had half days on Wednesday too, that was awesome. But we had to make up those 2 missed afternoon classes on Saturday, and I actually enjoyed that part.
I wasn't saying that I am "stuck" with kids from a different class background, that would be downright rude. I just meant that the private school thing added to the rich or dareisay.. preppy stereotype. Out of all of my close friends at university, I'm the only boarding school grad, so clearly its not an issue for me. I like it this way better, it gets a little much at times being surrounded by that crowd.

 

[Kent Wang]

Originally Posted by GQgeek

I think the benefits of being stuck in a class with kids from less fortunate backgrounds is overstated, personally. It's not like I went to university and couldn't function with the kids that went to public schools.
I see SField's point about this but agree with you that it is not that important. I went to public school in a poor district with an over 50% dropout rate. The AP classes (advance classes, so I was with the upper quartile of the students) I took in high school were fine but could have been much more challenging. Being in classes full of lazy students, I think, made me feel that it was ok to be lazy as well. If I had been in smaller classes, where every student had the attitude that it was important to do well in class, I feel I would have done better as well.

Originally Posted by Suicmez

Plus it was in Quebec so we had some microbrewery supply the whole weekend, unreal stuff.
Unibroue?

 

[crazyquik]

This is a great thread. If I had the money, I would do the same as my parents did; I would ask them if they want to go. Boarding school kids seem much better adjusted to being independent, living in a dorm setting, and for the academic environment of college. As Vox already mentioned, with the rise of good day-schools (and even some really really good public schools), I don't think the ROI is there like it used to be. Unless of course you live where I grew up . . . and then it absolutely is. If you already live in an area where your kids will attend one of the tip top public schools, or there are great day schools around, your educational dollars are better spent on their MBA, law, medicine or graduate degree(s). Mixing with 'regular' people is . . . a mixed bag. I agree with GQGeek that mixing with regular people may or may not be worth anything. You're less likely to come off as a prick, that's for sure. You're probably less likely to have an entitlement mentality. At the same time, you're less likely to pursue the loftiest goals, and are more likely to settle for the soft discrimination of low expectations. edit - same as KW said above me.

 

[SField]

I think with there being so many really good public schools, it's not as important.

If only there was a way to have boarding school that wasn't just for rich people, I'd say yes do it.

I have to admit that being a boarder makes you become quite considerate and unselfish. You almost never get a single until you're a senior, and there's a lot of self regulation among students. The part of living with all of your friends is really amazing. To me it's the spoon feeding part that I disagree with, not the boarding so much.

 

[GQgeek]

Originally Posted by crazyquik

This is a great thread. If I had the money, I would do the same as my parents did; I would ask them if they want to go. Boarding school kids seem much better adjusted to being independent, living in a dorm setting, and for the academic environment of college. As Vox already mentioned, with the rise of good day-schools (and even some really really good public schools), I don't think the ROI is there like it used to be. Unless of course you live where I grew up . . . and then it absolutely is. If you already live in an area where your kids will attend one of the tip top public schools, or there are great day schools around, your educational dollars are better spent on their MBA, law, medicine or graduate degree(s). Mixing with 'regular' people is . . . a mixed bag. I agree with GQGeek that mixing with regular people may or may not be worth anything. You're less likely to come off as a prick, that's for sure. You're probably less likely to have an entitlement mentality. At the same time, you're less likely to pursue the loftiest goals, and are more likely to settle for the soft discrimination of low expectations. edit - same as KW said above me.
See, I don't know where this comes from. Did some kids have entitlement mentalities? Yes. Did the majority? No. Maybe this is different in places like Manhattan... I also don't think i've ever come off as a prick to anyone i've ever met, either. And while some kids came from extreme wealth, I can't think of anyone at my school that really flaunted it. Having uniforms and living in the same quarters does a very good job of putting everyone on the same level, and there's probably less material possession based discrimination and cliques at private/boarding schools than at regular schools. My brother and sister didn't get the private education i got throughout most of my formative years. The difference in our outlooks is staggering and this is in no small part related to our peer groups, imo. My sister's friends are mostly from lower-middle class backgrounds, and lets just be kind and say that they don't exactly provide a strong motivating force.

 

[GanglandDandy]

I've got no kids yet but if I had kids, I don't think I would send them to boarding school.

 

[Dan K]

I had a friend who went to a small boarding school and graduated in a class of < 20, i always felt bad for him that there was no hot *****, and no real partying.

Also the private schools near me always had the biggest parties and the best/most drugs because they always had the money and their parents were often gone for business/vacation.

 

[otc]

I can understand the private school argument (although I am glad I went to my public school...its good to know what I don't want to be) but I can't understand why you would want to send your children away for a large chunk of their childhood.

My parents were sad enough when I went off to college...I cant imagine they would have liked to do that 4+ years earlier (but then again, not everybody likes their kids I suppose).

Also...the kids I did know in college who had been at places like Exeter always seemed a little bit off.

 

[Bentley]

My parents wanted me to go to boarding school when I was in Grade 8 but I did not want to go. Despite my repeated objections, they drove me to Toronto to see the school (3 hours from my home town) and insisted that I write the entrance exam.

All the while, they assured me that it would be my choice whether I wanted to go or not; however, I experienced it very much as their wanting to dump me in a boarding school so that I would not be underfoot.

At the end of this ordeal, they finally kept their word and did not send me against my will. However, the whole experience brings back some unpleasant memories even when I think about it now.

Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better if they'd sent me anyway as life staying at home was not all roses. It's interesting as I read others experiences of boarding schools and how much they enjoyed them.

I don't know what the right answer is in terms of whether boarding school is good or bad. I suppose, as others have stated, that there are pos and cons like anything else.

 

[Bentley]

Originally Posted by otc

My parents were sad enough when I went off to college...

My parents could not wait to get me out the door to go to college. Seemed like they felt some sort of redemption after their aborted attempt to ship me off to boarding school. I feel envious of people whose parents seemed sad and upset when they left home.

 

[Douglas]

Maybe it's different in some other places, but there are tons of very nice private schools around here that do not require boarding, and I can't imagine any reason I would send my child to a boarding school instead.

 

[IUtoSLU]

My mom cried the day they dropped me off at college. I was ecstatic.

 

[SField]

Originally Posted by IUtoSLU

My mom cried the day they dropped me off at college. I was ecstatic.

I never understood this. I took a cab from my place to penn station and took a train to school by myself.

There's something about parents being sad about an 18 year old leaving school that is incredibly strange and somewhat neurotic even.

 

[Krish the Fish]

I wanted to go to boarding school as a kid, but by the time I fully formulated an idea, it would have been well nigh useless. For this such reason, I feel that I'll do whatever necessary to give my children (if I ever have any) the best possible education. I don't want them to ever regret not getting into their school of choice as a result of decisions that weren't in their power. Plus, in the long run, if they do what they want, happiness is worth much more than $40k a year (for 12 years, about half a mill per kid. not an amount to scoff at, but if it opens up opportunities that wouldn't be present any other way, seems worth it to me).