Wedding party conundrum

[lawschooldropout]

Originally Posted by giraffe lookout

No offense to the powers that be that are requiring tuxes at your wedding but it's such a bad thing to ask for. If people have to rent tuxes, they end up wearing these super cheap suits that have been pissed by a hundred prom goers over the years. You are so much better off wearing navy suits. I know because I've done it. Please do everyone the favor or, at least, allowing them to wear normal black shoes and not the rental joints and not some cheap patent leather they pick up at men's warehouse. Sorry for the rant. I feel for your situation but I'm also certain you will have a great wedding regardless of what your boys are wearing.

I can empathize with how you feel on the matter. I like dressing well, but I'd prefer my bride be happy, so tuxedos it is. At least you can rest soundly knowing that I will not be wearing, nor will my groomsmen be required to wear patent leather.

And saiyar1, you may be correct.

 

[makewayhomer]

Originally Posted by lawschooldropout

Ah, sorry for the confusion on that. I am trying to find a way that offers them an opportunity to purchase a similar tux to the rental option or at least not make their only option spending $200 on a rental. I don't know if this middle ground exists. The style I am looking at is fairly standard: single breasted, two button, satin lapels, matching black satin bow-tie. Uncertain about vest/cummerbund and shirt details as of yet.

I suppose I was looking to see if anyone had experience in trying to offer options to the groomsmen. Perhaps I am dwelling unnecessarily on trying to allow for some sort of return (meaning a tux they can wear in the future) as an option.

well, it depends on how closely they need to match. do they need to be wearing literally the same exact tux? or if they meet the bolded requirements, is that enough? if the latter, and you have time, you can scour ebay for tuxes that will be cheaper than rentals. I did this for 1 of my groomsman. in my wedding, I didn't even have your specific requirements...single or double breasted was ok, peak or notch ok, I just required a black bow tie and no color on vest or cummerbumb.

if they need to be wearing literally the same exact thing from the same exact brand...you may just have to rent or buy them all the same one

Originally Posted by giraffe lookout

No offense to the powers that be that are requiring tuxes at your wedding but it's such a bad thing to ask for.

so, there should never be black tie or black tie optional weddings?

 

[Roger Everett]

Well, I haven't heard anyone mention it yet, but are ya'll familar with the expresion ' if moma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Goes esp. for the bride to be, this is her day to shine and have her dreams come true. whereas most of us guys could get hitched in the back yard next to the keg.
I have never been in a formal wedding party , where the tux and rental place wasn't picked by those in charge ie: bride -- her mother -- grooms mother and to a small degree the groom. And I went ahead of time and got measured and fitted. And I always paid for the rental -- that's the way it is for formal weddings.


One major exception was my last wedding --I met her at a nudist resort, and when we got married, it was right there, in front of the lake. Needless may I say " there was no dress code for the wedding.

 

[pvrhye]

Originally Posted by makewayhomer

so, there should never be black tie or black tie optional weddings?

Traditionally, no. Weddings are during the day when black-tie is faux-pas. That said, it's pretty well accepted these days, and when else can you wear a tux?

 

[makewayhomer]

Originally Posted by pvrhye

Traditionally, no. Weddings are during the day when black-tie is faux-pas. That said, it's pretty well accepted these days, and when else can you wear a tux?

my wedding ceremony starts at 6pm

 

[pvrhye]

Originally Posted by makewayhomer

my wedding ceremony starts at 6pm

Then wed in peace. The black-tie enforcers won't be beating down your door.

 

[giraffe lookout]

Originally Posted by pvrhye

Traditionally, no. Weddings are during the day when black-tie is faux-pas.

Yup. Black tie wedding in the middle of the day is a little strange, traditionally speaking. However, my point is more just that you know who your friends are and you know if they are going to already have tuxes or have to rent them. If everyone is going to have to rent, you shouldn't go with the mandatory black tie.

Again, I'm not trying to give lawschooldropout any grief. I hope he has an awesome wedding, and marriage. But I definitely have a bunch of picture of myself at my brother's wedding wearing rented evening wear in the middle of the day and it's kind of funny.

 

[Jaggs]

6pm very much calls for a formal wedding.

I was a groomsman in a wedding this past weekend and the groom asked us to wear a tux with a black cummerbund and black bow tie, your own or rented. Most people had their own and I believe a few rented, simple as that. Saved the guys about $800 for those who had their own.

 

[TimelesStyle]

Originally Posted by Roger Everett

One major exception was my last wedding --I met her at a nudist resort, and when we got married, it was right there, in front of the lake. Needless may I say " there was no dress code for the wedding.

I think the invitation should have said "Black tie requested, no other clothing required."

.

 

[CrAz3D]

I say when a person agrees to be in the wedding party, he's agreeing to pay the cost of renting a tuxedo for the occasion, just as the bridesmaids agree to purchase a dress. I would just find a reasonably priced shop that has decent rental tuxedos.

Is this the new trend? When my folks + grandparents + aunts/uncles were married, they all paid for attire of the wedding party (hell; it's your day, and not their's). That said, most of my friends are having weddings where the party pays for attire---the weddings where the couple pays is the minority.

I understand the whole "we can't afford it" thing, but then shouldn't the wedding be less formal? Hmm...

/maybe I'm just pondering on this because I have to rent a tux instead of using that money for my own tux

 

[mingus2112]

Take a look at somewhere like Joseph A Bank. I got a very traditional peak lapeled, 1 button tuxedo there for under $200 when they were having one of their sales. It's not the best tuxedo (or even THEIR best tuxedo), but it's 100% wool and 600,000 times better than a rental. Say what you will about JAB (I wouldn't buy a regular suit from there), but I don't think you can argue against them vs a polyester rental! In fact, this was the very advice that the writer of blacktieguide.com, Peter, gave me when I was strapped for cash and looking for a tuxedo. I was still one of, if not THE best dressed person at the wedding I went to. (and that's saying a lot because I didn't really look THAT good)

-J

 

[johnvw]



Well, I haven't heard anyone mention it yet, but are ya'll familar with the expresion ' if moma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Goes esp. for the bride to be, this is her day to shine and have her dreams come true. whereas most of us guys could get hitched in the back yard next to the keg.

I have never been in a formal wedding party , where the tux and rental place wasn't picked by those in charge ie: bride -- her mother -- grooms mother and to a small degree the groom. And I went ahead of time and got measured and fitted. And I always paid for the rental -- that's the way it is for formal weddings.



One major exception was my last wedding --I met her at a nudist resort, and when we got married, it was right there, in front of the lake. Needless may I say " there was no dress code for the wedding.

I suppose another advantage was that it made it easier for the guests to pick out the best man.

 

[CrAz3D]

Take a look at somewhere like Joseph A Bank. I got a very traditional peak lapeled, 1 button tuxedo there for under $200 when they were having one of their sales. It's not the best tuxedo (or even THEIR best tuxedo), but it's 100% wool and 600,000 times better than a rental. Say what you will about JAB (I wouldn't buy a regular suit from there), but I don't think you can argue against them vs a polyester rental! In fact, this was the very advice that the writer of blacktieguide.com, Peter, gave me when I was strapped for cash and looking for a tuxedo. I was still one of, if not THE best dressed person at the wedding I went to. (and that's saying a lot because I didn't really look THAT good)
-J

the killer is that the tux is color coded, so I basically have to rent. (god I hope the sex stains are cleaned out)

 

[GBR]



I've got 4 groomsmen. I think that one owns a tuxedo, but to be honest I'm not even positive on that.

Why do you need four - the British custom of a single best man is quite adequate.

 

[PASstudy]

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