Things That Are Bothering You, Got You All Hibbeldy-Jibbeldy, or just downright pissed, RIGHT NOW!

[in stitches]



It is a comment responding to Stitchy's complaint above about diagonal parkers. I was just conveying that I understand Stitchy's point of view as regards the vast majority of cases, but my own situation is exceptional on account of I have a bespoke car and want to keep it free from harm. (I think Bhowie is in the same position.) People who have regular cars (bought off the rack, so to speak) should park within the lines.

the cars in question today were as follows:

one gold, early 90s acura

one white, late model buick

I can say with certainty that diagonal parking will not afford your vehicle any degree of security.

in general, one is actually more likely to receive intentional vandalism when parking like a dick bag, than receiving accidental damage when parking like a mentch.

 

[Bhowie]



I can say with certainty that diagonal parking will not afford your vehicle any degree of security.

This is certainly false. This is how Link and I park and we've had nothing happen to our vehicles (automobile).

 

[L'Incandescent]

When people see a bespoke car, they usually assume (correctly) that it is protected by security measures, and so they don't dare act out against it.

 

[L'Incandescent]



the cars in question today were as follows:

one gold, early 90s acura

Did the early 90s Acura have a patina, as high quality vintage articles sometimes do? Maybe the owner was worried that someone would ruin the patina.

 

[in stitches]

would you consider rust to be patina?

 

[MrG]

I park my Jeep wherever I damn well please (spots that are not traditionally considered reasonable places to park).

It also has keyless entry (no doors in the door holes).

 

[Bhowie]

Are you scared to make love (to a woman)?


hoo hoo hoo

 

[lawyerdad]



today there was not one, but TWO, cars in the garage parked like total jerks. one was parked diagonally taking up two spots, and the other was about 4 feet off the wall, so half the car was jutting into the driving lane.

makes me so mad.

so i left these notes under their wiper blades.

[/URL]

 

[Fang66]



today there was not one, but TWO, cars in the garage parked like total jerks. one was parked diagonally taking up two spots, and the other was about 4 feet off the wall, so half the car was jutting into the driving lane.

makes me so mad.

so i left these notes under their wiper blades.

Which note was left under which wiper blade?

+

 

[MrG]



Are you scared to make love (to a woman)?


hoo hoo hoo

I have no such affliction (no key fob).

I just prefer to only put my key in one place, rather than sampling many places to put it (metaphor for being happily married).

 

[Find Finn]



lolz. but mine are free.

But they are readable.

Wanted some of these for years.

 

[Fang66]

From a man who obviously doesn't know how to make love (perform the act of copulation in a pleasurable manner) to a woman (person of the female sex), it is not about shoving your key in the lock, it is all about touching the button.

Reaching into your own pocket and "touching the button" is not the same as the act of making love to a woman (maybe how they do it in Japan). Also, it is best not to call the act "touching the button," as it sends a disparaging message.

Figurative language is rarely perfect (possessing all required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics, lacking in flaws); your nitpick does not negate (nullify or make ineffective) my suggestion that you demonstrate the language of a man with less than stellar love making capabilities. Touching the button may not be the entire act of making love to a woman however the omission of said act often leads to a less than satisfactory outcome.

 

[Harold falcon]



today there was not one, but TWO, cars in the garage parked like total jerks. one was parked diagonally taking up two spots, and the other was about 4 feet off the wall, so half the car was jutting into the driving lane.

makes me so mad.

so i left these notes under their wiper blades.

Which one got the asshole and which got the giant asshole?

 

[lawyerdad]

You guys need to give stitches proper credit for his vocabulary. It's "asshole" and "giant assface", not "asshole" and "giant asshole".

 

[Harold falcon]



I park my Jeep wherever I damn well please (spots that are not traditionally considered reasonable places to park).

It also has keyless entry (no doors in the door holes).

I am sometimes in a similar situation. I often park my Jeep on top of boulders, dumpsters, ATMs and small houses.

When I am driving my Jag-you-are I park very far away from everyone else and take up a minimum of 4 spaces. I also pay a hobo to guard it with his life and to puke all over anyone who comes close to it. I pay him with two 40s of King Cobra.