question open for advice for my father

[rach2jlc]

Originally Posted by phreak

just pay some rdm bum to pretend to be him. the kinds dont know what he looks like... that would be mad awkward
I don't think globetrotter is asking advice on this thread so members can make jokes and generally show the maturity of a sixth-grader.

 

[Matt]

My mother's father walked out on them when she was like 10, she never saw him again.

He died about 10 years ago. His deathbed request was to see my mother and her sister one more time.

They both declined. I never understood why.

My mother just said 'he has had the last 40 yrs to call me, never did, didnt come to my wedding, didnt send a card when my kids were born or when my husband died, and now just cos he is dying he thinks he has something to say, so I'm supposed to come running...'

Kind of out of character for her, but she has a point, although, I think if I was her, I would have gone and heard him out.

No doubt that stuff cuts deep.

Hope if went well for your old man Zach.

 

[acidboy]

Originally Posted by m@T

My mother's father walked out on them when she was like 10, she never saw him again.

He died about 10 years ago. His deathbed request was to see my mother and her sister one more time.

They both declined. I never understood why.

My mother just said 'he has had the last 40 yrs to call me, never did, didnt come to my wedding, didnt send a card when my kids were born or when my husband died, and now just cos he is dying he thinks he has something to say, so I'm supposed to come running...'

Kind of out of character for her, but she has a point, although, I think if I was her, I would have gone and heard him out.

No doubt that stuff cuts deep.

Hope if went well for your old man Zach.

I totally understand your mom, I could never imagine the pain I'd cause or even the guilt of walking out on your own kids.

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by m@T

My mother's father walked out on them when she was like 10, she never saw him again.

He died about 10 years ago. His deathbed request was to see my mother and her sister one more time.

They both declined. I never understood why.

My mother just said 'he has had the last 40 yrs to call me, never did, didnt come to my wedding, didnt send a card when my kids were born or when my husband died, and now just cos he is dying he thinks he has something to say, so I'm supposed to come running...'

Kind of out of character for her, but she has a point, although, I think if I was her, I would have gone and heard him out.

No doubt that stuff cuts deep.

Hope if went well for your old man Zach.


thanks - I am waiting to hear.


when I was 14, my dad left me and my mom. he basically said to me (no ****)" you seem to be doing well, there isn't anything more that I can do for you" and left.

at the time, it didn't seem either that bad, or that strange. my sister still doens't talk to my dad, even though she was already in university and out of the house at the time.

I've made my peace with my dad, and I really feel that he has matured a lot over the past decades, he is a different man. he feels really bad about these two "kids" and I think that today is going to be a very hard day for him.

I'll keep posted.

 

[globetrotter]

everything seemed to go well. they didn't kill or kidnap my father. it seems that I have one brother who is taller tahn 6 feet, which would make him the tallest person in my extended family, I am guessing his mother must have huge genes. I also have some newphews and even a great nephew. I imagine that at one point I will meet these people, I am just not sure when. my new siblings are interested in seeing my father again, so he must have done something right.

thanks for your input.

 

[stackey]

this is really strange. i cannot give any advice. hope everything goes well with the matter.

 

[Matt]

glad to hear it went well Zach.

 

[sho'nuff]

Originally Posted by m@T

My mother's father walked out on them when she was like 10, she never saw him again.

He died about 10 years ago. His deathbed request was to see my mother and her sister one more time.

They both declined. I never understood why.

My mother just said 'he has had the last 40 yrs to call me, never did, didnt come to my wedding, didnt send a card when my kids were born or when my husband died, and now just cos he is dying he thinks he has something to say, so I'm supposed to come running...'

Kind of out of character for her, but she has a point, although, I think if I was her, I would have gone and heard him out.

No doubt that stuff cuts deep.

Hope if went well for your old man Zach.

this is an emotionally pulling story.

i can imagine and defend your mom. i know the right thing to do was to go see him , but if placed in her shoes i would have probably done the same as your mom. and there should be no guilt.

although that chance to make reparations with a loved one is now forever gone.

 

[acidboy]

good to hear, GT, good to hear.

 

[Margaret]

Glad it went well.

 

[West24]

good to see it went well. it seems like you may now have a whole new group of people to get to know and build relationships with. nothing bad can really come of that.

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by West24

nothing bad can really come of that.

well, they could hit me up for money.....

no, I'm just joking, I don't see a down side, either. thanks for the kind thoughts.

 

[Fuuma]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

well, they could hit me up for money.....

no, I'm just joking, I don't see a down side, either. thanks for the kind thoughts.

Good news. Are they in Israel or Europe? This could be an interesting reunion although I'd avoid boxing myself in when visiting them (staying at their place and such...)

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by Fuuma

Good news. Are they in Israel or Europe? This could be an interesting reunion although I'd avoid boxing myself in when visiting them (staying at their place and such...)

no, they are in a small town in the middle of nowhere. I will visit them, oneday, when I need to be in that area. and I imagine that we will meet for a coffee or a meal, not for any great length of time. maybe we will find stuff in common and to talk about, but I don't know.