Playing Second Fiddle/S**t Friends

[Ambulance Chaser]

Originally Posted by rdawson808

She was fair game because you and her had no committed relationship (and you hadn't even asked her out yet). But I would say that your friend damn-well could have asked you if you had asked the girl out yet. Especially if he knew you were into her. "With friends like that..." and all.
I agree with this. You took too long to ask this girl out, but your "friend" should have given you the right of first refusal knowing that you liked her. I think it would have been fine if he had come to you and said, "Look, I am interested in this girl. I know you have liked her for awhile, so I will stand down for the time being and let you make your move. But I can't wait around forever."

 

[Thomas]

Originally Posted by VKK3450

I dont believe in "calling dibs" on women, but regardless if I knew my buddy was into a girl and was lacking game I would at least talk to him before macking her.

he isnt a friend. Not to open another topic, but I believe the term "friend" is bandied around too freely these days. Dude may be an acquaintence, but I wouldnt a guy like that a friend.

K

This is everything I wanted to say on this.

Oh, and Edina: No more waiting around on women - make your interest known quickly. Otherwise, they won't think you're being shy or cautious, they'll just think you don't care.

 

[nate10184]

Originally Posted by rdawson808

You are right: she did agree to go out with him and then cancelled. However, she did not "blow him off". She canceled the plans. This doesn't change my belief that Xenox's answer was pure ****. No one here would have thought that a guy doing the same thing was a bad idea. You would have praised him for his forthright way of dealing with the situation and how he let her down so easily. Pure hypocritical ullshit.

b

Don't lump me in with xenox. I'm the last person espousing Pick up Artist BS. If a guy asked out two girls, knowing they were friends, on consecutive days I would say it was a dbag thing to do.

 

[rdawson808]

Originally Posted by nate10184

Don't lump me in with xenox. I'm the last person espousing Pick up Artist BS. If a guy asked out two girls, knowing they were friends, on consecutive days I would say it was a dbag thing to do.

Noted, and post edited to reflect as much.
b

 

[Tardek]

Originally Posted by rdawson808

This is a typical male chauvinist answer. There is nothing in this story that says the woman is "dumb" or "shallow". She met two guys. One asked her out and she said yes. Indeed, she even essentially apologized for how it all went down. This sort of attitude is too often is allowed to pass and not called for the BS it is.




You obviously do not want to follow this advice.

b

I disagree with you, rdawson. The way I interpreted it, this girl said yes to OP, then lied about the situation to OP's friend and ditched OP for the better option. This is not (necessarily) dumb, but it's certainly shallow.

I don't know why so many of you are getting so badly butthurt over the friend's behaviour. The only thing he should have done that he failed to do is ask for permission. Defriending him on facebook is the most passive aggressive thing ever, and is indicative of OP's problem in dealing with tense situations head on.

OP, my advice to you is to actually have a chat with your friend and tell him what he did was not cool. He should know better. As for the girl, if I interpreted correctly and she lied about the situation to your friend (or at least obfuscated it) you're better off without her.

 

[asparagoose]

men are often competitive, especially with their friends, about everything, especially women. the fact that he did that to you does not necessarily mean he's not a good friend.

think about it, is his disloyalty what's *really* upsetting you? i doubt it. i don't know you at all, but if you are like most people, my guess is that you're upset because you feel rejected, because you are trying to reconcile the fact that in some sense, she chose him over you. of course, it's ridiculous to feel that way (to compare yourself to others, and, on top of that, to base your comparison on what some girl thinks). but that's not the point. the point here is this: see, you're competitive too

if you two were really close, i bet you will both get over it pretty soon. you'll get wasted and he'll be like, "man, i'm sorry about xxx, i kind of liked her and i didn't know what to do. but i guess what i did was pretty ******." and you'll be like, "no man, it's ok." and before you know it, you'll be dating someone and will literally forget it ever happened. and/or she'll dump him and you'll secretly be happy inside. or he'll dump her and you'll roll your eyes and think he's a dick but respect the heart-breaker in him. it'll all work out.

 

[needler]

Originally Posted by asparagoose

or he'll dump her and you'll roll your eyes and think he's a dick but respect the heart-breaker in him. it'll all work out.

Say what? I don't have any friends I think are dicks and who try to steal women I like. Why the hell would you want to be friends with someone like that?

Guy sounds like a POS. "Defriending him on facebook" was a major teen girl move though. Turn off the Jonas Brothers CD and just cut him out of your life, no big deal.

 

[Tardek]

To be fair I had a friend who would ALWAYS go after women who liked me. It got annoying after a while, and so I started picking them up because he would just sit there and dither, while it was bleedingly obvious she wasn't into him.

It sucks to have friends who call dibs on girls who want you and don't want them.





Later on that friend stabbed me in the back. Weird.

 

[VKK3450]

I ended up ******* a couple of girls that my old roommate was into.

This was after they had already turned him down mulitiple times and I told him I dont believe you can call dibs on women. he got his chance (and more) and couldnt close the deal. Job still needed to be done, so I stepped up.

One was instantly forgettable. The other was a firey ball of sex with an ass that wouldnt quit. We kept at it for a while, but she was a single mom and at that time in my life I wasnt going to be playing daddy...

Ahhhhh nostalgia.

K

 

[Cas Ruffin]

Originally Posted by JoeWoah

You showed him!

But, in all seriousness, you shouldn't bring a girl that is not your girl (but want her to be) around your friends if you have no game. I mean really!

Seriously, work on your game, bounce from the friend, and girls are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.

 

[LA Guy]

Originally Posted by needler

Say what? I don't have any friends I think are dicks and who try to steal women I like. Why the hell would you want to be friends with someone like that?

Guy sounds like a POS. "Defriending him on facebook" was a major teen girl move though. Turn off the Jonas Brothers CD and just cut him out of your life, no big deal.

Agreed on both points. Unless your definition of friend is "****** whose ass you need to kick in", that is no friend. Number one criterion for someone being a friend is that he has your back, and what he did was the opposite of that. And yeah, "Defriending him?" Have you had your first period yet? C'mon. Either just cut him out of your life, or kick his ass - depends on your culture (though, from your comments, kicking ass doesn't seem to be in the cards.)

Also, I think that you (the OP) is better off without the girl, unless he is happy to be option #2, which I would definitely not be.