Nobody should blame you for not wanting to assist in raising a kid that isn't your own, I'm about your age and I wouldn't want to have my own kid atm not to mention raising someone's else child. I guess it would be healthier for you to make decision to go all in or all out- but I guess you know that. In contrary to what other said, thinking about yourself doesn't make you a douche, it makes you human. I'd bet most of people lecturing you here might have similiar reservations in situation like this. Think what would make YOU happy in the long run. But then be prepared to pay the price, what the decision was.