Need advice on dating a woman with a child

[wojt]

Nobody should blame you for not wanting to assist in raising a kid that isn't your own, I'm about your age and I wouldn't want to have my own kid atm not to mention raising someone's else child. I guess it would be healthier for you to make decision to go all in or all out- but I guess you know that. In contrary to what other said, thinking about yourself doesn't make you a douche, it makes you human. I'd bet most of people lecturing you here might have similiar reservations in situation like this. Think what would make YOU happy in the long run. But then be prepared to pay the price, what the decision was.

 

[Harold falcon]



Nobody should blame you for not wanting to assist in raising a kid that isn't your own, I'm about your age and I wouldn't want to have my own kid atm not to mention raising someone's else child. I guess it would be healthier for you to make decision to go all in or all out- but I guess you know that. In contrary to what other said, thinking about yourself doesn't make you a douche, it makes you human. I'd bet most of people lecturing you here might have similiar reservations in situation like this. Think what would make YOU happy in the long run. But then be prepared to pay the price, what the decision was.

No one's saying he has to take up the mantle as child-rearer. But his attitude toward the child as an inconvenience to him, and even blaming the girl for being selfish toward him 4 years ago before they even met is disgusting.

 

[wojt]

It is stupid idd, solid point

 

[munchausen]

Point is, if she's special, then she's worth the extra effort. If she isn't, then why are you even asking?

 

[acidboy]



No one's saying he has to take up the mantle as child-rearer. But his attitude toward the child as an inconvenience to him, and even blaming the girl for being selfish toward him 4 years ago before they even met is disgusting.

the fact that he was even venting that means the lady is better off without him. he's probably the type that would snap at the kid or blame the kid for any problem he has with the girl if they do have a long term relationship.

 

[GreatHighway]

OP you're not a man yet

 

[MyOtherLife]

Blood is thicker than water. Run and don't look back.

 

[Bakes11771]

Why delay the inevitable? It won't work out. You already broke up twice. Without knowing anything more about the situation than you have already revealed, it seems as though she wants to stay with you because she is scared nobody else will want her since she has a child, and you get back together with her because you don't have any other place to stick your wiener.

2nd years of relationships are the real test. If I had to bet, I'd bet against this one making it another year.

 

[wojt]

2nd years of relationships are the real test. If I had to bet, I'd bet against this one making it another year.

True 2nd year is usually a barometer, in my case the 2nd year was better.. but then I failed at the 7th year
we will see maybe ill top that one day!

 

[Bakes11771]

I told her everyting I'm telling you all here and I would have thought she would have taken off by now but she doesn't want to move on.

Did you really tell her EVERYTHING you told us here, or just sort of tell her a watered-down version of what you told us?

I bet if you show her your post, she would discover the reality of the situation (how you really feel) and realize that you're not going to work.

Again, I can only speculate, because I don't know the situation first hand, but I bet you lead her on by saying/pretending that you like the child and would be willing to consider a future with the two of them, just so you can stick your wiener in her.

She is probably otherwise too good for you, but has lowered her standards because she is insecure about having a child. That is probably why you are so reluctant to leave her, because you could not get a woman like that who doesn't have a deflated sense of confidence.

Sorry if I'm completely wrong, but this is just my uninformed perspective on your situation.

What part of Long Island?

 

[acidboy]

on the upside, you're probably a good lay for her.

 

[wojt]

thanks a lot OP for jinxing my date

 

[deburn]



What part of Long Island?

lol

 

[JLibourel]

I'm not as hard on the OP as most of you. Situations like these are complex, and his reactions sound pretty normal to me. However, I do think it's bad form to be getting it on with a woman in a situation where her little child can and does walk in as things are getting "steamy."

My advice would be to help pay for a babysitter. Take the woman out to a nice dinner or whatever. Get her back to your place and make furious passionate love for awhile and then get her home to her daughter at a reasonable hour. Also, try to befriend the child. Then, if you find you still want the pair of them (because that's what you'll be getting), marry your inamorata, lock your bedroom door and tell the kid to go back to bed when she tries to get in.

 

[acidboy]