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Need advice on dating a woman with a child

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by lpalma121, Jul 10, 2013.

  1. GreatHighway

    GreatHighway Senior member

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    OP you're not a man yet
     
    2 people like this.
  2. MyOtherLife

    MyOtherLife Senior member

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    Blood is thicker than water. Run and don't look back.
     
  3. Bakes11771

    Bakes11771 Senior member

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    Why delay the inevitable? It won't work out. You already broke up twice. Without knowing anything more about the situation than you have already revealed, it seems as though she wants to stay with you because she is scared nobody else will want her since she has a child, and you get back together with her because you don't have any other place to stick your wiener.

    2nd years of relationships are the real test. If I had to bet, I'd bet against this one making it another year.
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. wojt

    wojt Senior member

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    True 2nd year is usually a barometer, in my case the 2nd year was better.. but then I failed at the 7th year :p
    we will see maybe ill top that one day!
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2013
  5. Bakes11771

    Bakes11771 Senior member

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    Did you really tell her EVERYTHING you told us here, or just sort of tell her a watered-down version of what you told us?

    I bet if you show her your post, she would discover the reality of the situation (how you really feel) and realize that you're not going to work.

    Again, I can only speculate, because I don't know the situation first hand, but I bet you lead her on by saying/pretending that you like the child and would be willing to consider a future with the two of them, just so you can stick your wiener in her.

    She is probably otherwise too good for you, but has lowered her standards because she is insecure about having a child. That is probably why you are so reluctant to leave her, because you could not get a woman like that who doesn't have a deflated sense of confidence.

    Sorry if I'm completely wrong, but this is just my uninformed perspective on your situation.

    What part of Long Island?
     
  6. acidboy

    acidboy Senior member

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    on the upside, you're probably a good lay for her.
     
  7. wojt

    wojt Senior member

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    thanks a lot OP for jinxing my date
     
  8. deburn

    deburn Senior member

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    lol
     
  9. JLibourel

    JLibourel Senior member

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    I'm not as hard on the OP as most of you. Situations like these are complex, and his reactions sound pretty normal to me. However, I do think it's bad form to be getting it on with a woman in a situation where her little child can and does walk in as things are getting "steamy."

    My advice would be to help pay for a babysitter. Take the woman out to a nice dinner or whatever. Get her back to your place and make furious passionate love for awhile and then get her home to her daughter at a reasonable hour. Also, try to befriend the child. Then, if you find you still want the pair of them (because that's what you'll be getting), marry your inamorata, lock your bedroom door and tell the kid to go back to bed when she tries to get in.
     
  10. acidboy

    acidboy Senior member

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  11. wojt

    wojt Senior member

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    Quote:True as you shouldn't, I think many here forgot the part the guy is to be a fatherly figure to a spoiled brat that is NOT his daughter. Think of all the consequences for him when the kid grows and starts to rebel. Also to the kid he will be an obstacle for mommy and daddy to be together. It's hard enough to have good relationship with your own kids. Now you basically have to put up with someone elses and support it financially too(unavoidable to some extent if you're to live together). On her priority list you will rank from 2nd to 10th depending on the woman. It's a tough scenario for a man, hard to win in the long run. On a side note, I've just started dating a single mom. I really enjoy her company and I have a crush on her but realistically I give us a small chance. Maybe she's one of the very few women worth that kind of sacrifice that's what I am going to find out. So far it's not serious, so it's fun.
     
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2013
  12. munchausen

    munchausen Senior member

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    If its just a short, casual fling that's one thing, but if OP is going to string this woman along and doesn't want to be with her and the kid, then he's doing something wrong imo. Especially if the real dad isn't around.
     
    1 person likes this.
  13. wojt

    wojt Senior member

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    Life's a bitch that's what is wrong. Perhaps he should lower the age bracket and date 23-26 without children while he still can [​IMG]
     
  14. JLibourel

    JLibourel Senior member

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    Well, I became a father figure (stepfather) to a spoiled brat that was not my son. His father had died a few years earlier. Looking back over two decades, it wasn't at all bad. Actually, I had a lot of fun--quite a lot of it while tormenting him. Examples: He'd be crying about something, and I'd say, "Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone." When he was in a foul mood, "Oh, just open up your heart and let the sunshine in." When crying over an "owie": "You will find, my boy, that a stoic indifference to pain is one of the attributes of manhood." These would usually rouse him to new paroxysms of fury, which made it all the more fun for me.

    In the course of two decades, he has grown into a pretty good young man, by no means perfect, but, then, who among us is? Multi-competent, college graduate, athletic, earning a living, no major vices, no significant scrapes with the law. He is certainly much more "grounded" and better balanced than some of his oldest friends--the scions of unified families and high-achieving birth parents--who have done time in booze farms, jail and psycho wards. Not long ago, he said to me, "Thanks for making me normal."
     
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2013
    1 person likes this.
  15. acidboy

    acidboy Senior member

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  16. wojt

    wojt Senior member

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    Sounds awesome, I'm glad it worked out for you. You are one sarcastic bastard btw! "Oh, just open up your heart and let the sunshine in." [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2013

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