Know any good Sartorial Jokes?

[SaintClair]

Just curious. I think it would be funny to slip one into a conversation every now and have the majority of my friends look at me with an air of befuddlement.

 

[FIHTies]

Haberdasher?

Joe was moderately successful in the career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem. "The good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition that causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he has anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

Afterward, although his mind was clear as he left the hospital, he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need: a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see . . . size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

The salesman responded, "It's my job."

Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure . ." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see. . . 34 sleeve and . . . 16 and a half neck." Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure . . ." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see. . . 9 and a half. . . wide." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about a new hat?" Without hesitating, Joe said, "Sure . . " The salesman eyed Joe's head and said, "Let's see. . . 7 5/8." Joe was incredulous, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

The hat fit perfectly. Joe was feeling great, when the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure . . " The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist, and said, "Let's see . . . . . . size 36."

Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. If you did, it would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

 

[edmorel]

Take a look at WAYWN

 

[ohm]

Originally Posted by FIHTies

Haberdasher?

Damn near killed her!

 

[incastoutcast]

Yea, I know some. I've worked for a few. Hasn't everyone?

 

[Eccentric]

Kenneth Cole.

 

[Twotone]

The sales people at Men's Warehouse.

Twotone

 

[Master-Classter]

I like the one with "those jeans are like a cheap hotel.... no ballroom"

(one of my favorites) - so a man walks into a psychiatrists office buck naked. The psychiatrist casually looks up and says, "Hmmm, I can clearly see your/re nuts"

 

[BareSolid]

"You may think this is my sporran, but it's actually Hazel Blears asking for a promotion." - Gordon Brown

 

[voxsartoria]

There are several that share the same punchline: Moo.

OMG, I hope that he is okay.


- B

 

[ginlimetonic]

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. If you did, it would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

thats why theres bespoke.

 

[gnatty8]

Originally Posted by edmorel

Take a look at WAYWN

Search particularly for posts by gnatty8..

 

[Mr. Moo]

Originally Posted by voxsartoria

There are several that share the same punchline: Moo.

OMG, I hope that he is okay.


- B

This joke is almost as old as you, buddy boy.

 

[Big Pun]

Threads like this are the reason I don't often post in MC.

 

[SaintClair]

So why did you post?