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Assuming she recovers, I don't think you should approach her with your feelings as others have suggested. She is mentally ill. Mental illness is a terrible thing, and often you can talk and explain until you are blue in the face and the recipient looks at you like you are the crazy one. Unless she is being treated and taking her medication, I would avoid confronting her. Otherwise, you run the risk of her internalizing your feelings or misinterpreting them and her becoming even more depressed and dangerous to herself or others. I think your best bet is to remain supportive of her and her family, think positively and try to spread positivity among her family (i.e., put a stop to people blaming themselves, or expressing anger directly at your friend).
Maybe you would feel better if you told your friend how her suicide attempt made you feel. Maybe she doesn't know people care.
Awful, sad situation. I'm sorry for your friend, and I'm sorry for you. I'm not sure that someone who is bipolar and off her meds is going to be reachable with plain old reason or just talking and love from friends, though, FWIW. I think I understand why bipolars don't want to take their meds, but without them, just love and therapy are often not enough. In short, I don't know what to tell you - I'd encourage you to just be as good a friend as you can without overextending yourself. Good luck to all involved.
[. . .] it is tough to not feel "responsible" (for lack of a better word), and I have no idea why I'm feeling so strongly about this.
Both of your observations are very, very common occurences.I've known that she doesn't always take her medication, and I've never really pressed that issue because she always seemed more bright and cheery when off them. Also I know how much she abhors her medication mostly because she sees it as shameful.
There are two things about my brother's death that are hardest for me: (1.) the fact that I'll probably grow very old, but I'll only be able to picture him being 32 perpetually; and (2.) knowing how pained he was that it drove him to something like this. I tear up pretty much any time I think of either one of these...it's just heartbreaking, so I know where you're coming from.She is still in a coma in critical condition as of this time with no progress over the past 12 hrs. The thought that I might lose her is almost overwhelming, as she would be the first person close to me to pass away. However, I am most heartbroken by the fact that she is in so much pain right now physically and mentally. It makes me think that yes, she may be better off if she weren't living. At least she would be at peace with herself. And in a selfish sense, I'd be at peace with myself too.
My heart goes out to you and her loved ones. I refrained from saying anything before in order to keep from bring the board (mostly Dumb Threads) down, but my younger brother committed suicide on January 14. Depression runs in my family so I was no stranger to it, but since then, I've learned an enormous amount.
The girlfriend on the other hand was the most insane nut job I've ever come across. Self mutilation and suicide were a means to an end. Attention was the currency of life, and if she wasn't getting enough, the performance would begin. Threats of suicide, taking too many drugs, cutting wrists, attacking friends, etc. This doesn't sound like your friend, but it is an extreme example of the cry for help. It's important in these situations to prioritize your own life and emotions while trying to help someone like this.
He can tell her how he feels without a confrontation-- "When you did X it made me feel Y". Not "I blame you for X". I disagree about stereotyping mental illness as "crazy". Mental illness is nothing more than an imbanance of a neurotransmitter. She can still think and feel. I also disagree about "the person is sick and will be forever"! 26.2% of Americans suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year. http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publi...ca/index.shtml Actual lifetime prevalence rates for mental disorders are estimated to be between 65% and 85%. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prevale...ntal_disorders Most people go through something at least once in their life and then recover. There is a lot he can do depending on how involved he wants to get. He can talk to her. He can make himself available for her calls. He can read a book on her condition to learn more about it. He can get involved with her family, asking if there is anything he can do to help. They may say no, but they will feel good knowing someone offered. Or if he wants to be minimally involved, he can send a get well card.