Feel like I'm going nowhere in life

[Humperdink]

****. Why did I read this thread? And why does this state have such restrictive gun laws...

 

[Flambeur]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

you have 30K, no responsibilities, a BA and a job and you are misrable and 24? that about sums it up?

ok, here's what you do - liquidate everything. put it in an account that you can access. start traveling, as a backpacker, spending as little money as you can, set yourself a goal to work 10 days a month in something. you should be able to travel for 2 years plus on that, maybe as many as 5 if you are careful. you can see things that none of your friends have. get yourself a kindle and load it up with classics. read while you travel.

now, you will be 27-28, with a BA, no money and no job, but you will be intersting, well rounded, you will apprectiate what you have, you will be well travelled and not spoiled.

if you still aren't happy, inlist in the army for a few years, save 30K, and start over. believe me, eventually you will be doing great.

This is good. My backup plan was always "hey, if I am ever at a point where I think that suicide might be an answer, I might as well go join the mafia, become a gunrunner or a scam artist.. " You know, just kind of seemed like a good idea when you no longer give a ****.

Originally Posted by pokey07

Thanks for that, but I just want you guys to know I didn't lose my dad that recently... it's been a little more than 4 years ago. I just feel that since he passed I haven't had any guidance or anyone to really talk to about this stuff. Know what I mean?

This is also why I'm thinking, it's been a while, time to get a move on... if that makes sense.

I've found a lot of direction by educating myself in every possible way - do you read books, brosky?

Originally Posted by Charlie's Wardrobe

This is all rather saddening, for all of you guys feeling like this.

One of my favourite quotes is from that of the dalai lama which is quite simple

"I believe the true meaning of life is to find happiness"

I have this written on my wall (a chalkboard wall) and look at it every morning. It very simple because if you are not happy, then you should look at why and try and do something about it.

I'm not a particularly religous person but do live my life to a basic set of buddhist principles of if you are good to people it will be returned which works for me. Karma if you will.

But remember there is almost always someone worse off in life than you are, for example I do volunteer work for the red cross with a guy who has downs syndrome and the highlight of his week is me picking him up to go see a movie or go bowling, which is just an everday activity for you or I.

This in itself doesn't make me happy of course, but I certainly feel much more fortunate myself knowing that things really aren't that bad for me. I have a good job, I'm fit, own my apartment (well bank does), drive a nice car and am generally pretty happy and healthy, so life could be way worse. You just have to look at it from a different perspective. I'm 30 and unmarried but would like to be in the next 5 years, but while I could let this get me down I don't, I just get on with living life.

For the OP, there is surely someone out there with no parents left in more despair than you are, so be thankful you still have your mother. AJ, there is surely someone out there that doesn't have a beautiful wife and child that wants those things, and you should appreciate that you do. I think you get my point.

I think you should definitely get some greif counselling to start off with, this could be a big part of the problem with you getting motivated.

Good luck!

outside of the buddhist bullshit, this actually isn't too bad.

Originally Posted by archetypal_yuppie

Baby steps in the right direction can add up to pretty big changes in not too long a time. But you have to know what you want, and have to be willing to put in time and effort to achieve those baby steps.

If you have no part 1 ready, then figure that out I guess.

KEY

Originally Posted by NorCal

Dude, your 24 as cheesy as it sounds your lie has barely begun. You can still do just about anything.
Having 30k, a degree, and a job (and presumably job skills) puts you far ahead of many if not most 24 year olds.
Again, 24 is really young and you've got plenty of chances to change direction.
See a therapist.
Ignore everyone telling you life sucks.
SF is not the type of place to get good advice about this sort of thing, too full of poseurs and "master of the universe" types.

somewhat true

Originally Posted by MetroStyles

I dunno man, both people who mentioned booze and chicks were joking, and you specifically touched on that.

What the hell is wrong with you? Sex and booze are great, and will always be on my list of like 6 things that make me happy whether I'm successful or not.


For me personally, some of the most important things were:

-realize money isn't everything, even if your sole wish in life is to make money
-concentrate on long term and build your short term goals on that, not the other way around
-be humble and at least attempt to understand the context of things instead of jumping to conclusions
-understand the small things in life that make you happy - i.e. sex, books, booze, food, wisdom, clothes, cigars, whatever, etc
-some other stuff I forgot because I am hung over.

 

[LTJazz]

Brilliant post; I agree whole heartedly. First and foremost, I believe the original poster should spend some of that money he has saved up and go out, have a little fun, and meet some people. Don't underestimate the power of networking. You may meet someone that introduces you to a possible career you may fall in love with while simultaneously clearing your head. While working your current job, I suggest trying out some other things. Maybe offer your knowledge or time to a place that might appreciate it. You could also take some of your money and invest in some other skills that might help to segue you to another job....or you could simply work your way up the ladder in your current field. Above everything, find something that makes you happy. Money helps, but is an extra 20 or 30 thousand really going to change your life? Isn't it more important to be in a happy place? Surrounded by people you enjoy your time with.....maybe a person you care about to share your passions with? I think it's more than money and a job right now...you need fulfillment. For being 24, you're not in a terrible place...you're certainly better off than my friends with art or music degrees. You've got quite a bit of time. I've seen so many people, especially in my own family, that would quit their reasonably well paying job for a bit more happiness. My friend, your life and time are far more valuable than money.

Originally Posted by Mr Herbert

sorry to hear about your dad mate i think only the luckiest people know exactly what they want from life and head down that path effortlessly. the only thing to do is some deep soul searching. it sounds like you want to acheive something with your life so thats the first step. now the hard bit is figuring out what. be realistic abou what will make you happy and work hard towards acheiving it. this reads like some bullshit self help guide but i went through the same thing and came out the other side. i was a few years older than everyone i graduated with but knew what i was doing is what i wanted to do. good luck

 

[Slopho]

^ He's 30K in debt.

 

[edinatlanta]

Originally Posted by pokey07

Thanks for that, but I just want you guys to know I didn't lose my dad that recently... it's been a little more than 4 years ago. I just feel that since he passed I haven't had any guidance or anyone to really talk to about this stuff. Know what I mean?

This is also why I'm thinking, it's been a while, time to get a move on... if that makes sense.

You should see a therapist. There are short-term and long-term therapies available. Decide which one you want to do.

 

[AFG34]

i suggest you go on this 10 day meditation retreat: http://www.dhamma.org/

its free btw

 

[Duff_Man]

Originally Posted by Humperdink

****. Why did I read this thread? And why does this state have such restrictive gun laws...

+1. I have not said to myself, "jesus christ" so much in an online message board thread ever in my entire life. The amount of genuine acute unhappiness that I just visually...ingested is....throttling.

 

[ramuman]

Why the hell do I read these FML threaks? I'm 27 and will be 28 before I finish my Ph.D. I want nothing to do with the field I'm doing grad school in. G'damnit.

 

[volatility smile]

Originally Posted by ramuman

Why the hell do I read these FML threaks? I'm 27 and will be 28 before I finish my Ph.D. I want nothing to do with the field I'm doing grad school in. G'damnit.

What field is it, and what's the problem with it? Are you sure you're not just burnt out?

 

[ramuman]

Originally Posted by volatility smile

What field is it, and what's the problem with it? Are you sure you're not just burnt out?
Electrical engineering (but essentially a bioengineering project). I learned a lot, have no debt, and should be happy but I'm just sick of the culture in academia and don't give a **** about working on some mundane research project in some large company. I wanted to get into finance or consulting after I graduate - largely to have a change of scenery and actually interact with normal people but everyone complains about those fields too.

 

[volatility smile]

Originally Posted by ramuman

Electrical engineering (but essentially a bioengineering project). I learned a lot, have no debt, and should be happy but I'm just sick of the culture in academia and don't give a **** about working on some mundane research project in some large company. I wanted to get into finance or consulting after I graduate - largely to have a change of scenery and actually interact with normal people but everyone complains about those fields too.

Oh, damn - I'm also in a quantitative field and all but set on going to grad school, and I could see myself ending up in a situation in five-ish years. Apparently, grad school has that kind of effect, and I'm already not really enamored with the idea of dealing with academia, so I have no idea why the hell I'm going anyway. It's better than the alternatives, I guess.

 

[shellshock]

i know what i want to do, but so far i don't know how to get there. plus i have no job and looming debt. i feel like i have a lot of potential but cant find someone to give me a chance.

 

[acidboy]

Originally Posted by shellshock

i know what i want to do, but so far i don't know how to get there. plus i have no job and looming debt. i feel like i have a lot of potential but cant find someone to give me a chance.

do you have a financial consultant, headhunter, and all those stuff?

 

[XenoX101]

Originally Posted by shellshock

i know what i want to do, but so far i don't know how to get there. plus i have no job and looming debt. i feel like i have a lot of potential but cant find someone to give me a chance.

I'll give you a chance..


sorry

 

[Flambeur]

Originally Posted by ramuman

Electrical engineering (but essentially a bioengineering project). I learned a lot, have no debt, and should be happy but I'm just sick of the culture in academia and don't give a **** about working on some mundane research project in some large company. I wanted to get into finance or consulting after I graduate - largely to have a change of scenery and actually interact with normal people but everyone complains about those fields too.

Well, you know, grass is always greener.. I know a guy who went from a PhD in Engineering to medical school.. Go figure.