February Front Page Haiku Contest: Vote For a Winner!

[Styleforum Ari]

So who earned a wonderful custom title?

rach2jlc:

Ah! Another chance,
Such whimsy notwithstanding,
I miss teh RJ.


Robot begs for love
Skyward winter snows descend
Who the F*$& ARE you?

justridiculous:

Finicky styfos
Can write thought-provoking words
Ooh, a pocket square

My god, those bisons
I can't believe I missed it
Oh, everyone did

Don't understand wine
Had a cold sandwich last night
Love good coffee though

notwithit:

yes i expect you
to take me seriously
wearing this apron

beduoin bro-mads
cross paths with i-gent dandies
and do not mingle



over-priced sneakers
paired with luxury sweatpants
where the hell's my toj?



uncles and nephews
in a cordovan love-in
wear them in good health



fit pics and ****-fits
the universe runs on thumbs
stanley van buren



baller kop swag whoop
what are you wearing today
yoox tags still attached

schneider and ciggies
one rule for shomer shabbos:
i don't fuckin' roll

hario gooseneck
capresso infinity
previous level




two buck chuck chiraz
amy's frozen cheese pizza
don't judge me, damnit

too swole for my shirts
lats from here to hoboken
where's my creatine?



swagged out at the gym
droop-crotch shorts and baller sneaks
no excuses, brah




tally up thy reps
oh brotherhood of gym-rats
hypertrophy now!

yes i expect you
to take me seriously
wearing this apron

we remove our ties
and wear an orphaned suit coat
with our jnco jeans

a wardrobe staple
thirty-two ounce deadstock melton wool
where's your anchor tat?



british explorers
meet post-colonial world
zissou nirvana



are those kicks stan smiths?
no, they're way more expensive
dig the gold heel stamp

GoldenTribe:

Stanley van Buren
Stanley van Buren — miran!
Stanley van Buren

Lorcan7:

peacoats and parkas
penises peeping from holes
rick knows how to troll

such tight hand-rolling
has members all excited
silk self-tipped desires

daiki devotees -
they have more pockets than you;
shawls draped like eastwood.

lazer eyed doggie
cyborg agent of robot
spying for swag jawnz

erictheobscure:

My Duckie Brown shell
Cordovan shoes have arrived.
Ah--they're just shellac.

Are Allen Edmonds
Shoes? Or overpriced shoe trees?
To be rich, like Vox.

Sixty thousand posts
And then: a streetwear ninja.
Wife says me gusta.

Neckties have flown in
All the way from Korea
Claghorn's arms are tired

we run together
and do pull-ups. coldsalmon:
forever alone

what acute style needs:
step up his dog matching game
gingham print pit bull

Claghorn:

Why is this thread here?
And not in classic menswear?
We are all poets.

(To be clear, I'm responding to this thread, which is on the front page. So meta-points)

My erection's launch
In Rick Owens' newest gear
All the world can see.

Entry level shoes:
Easy on the wallet but
Hard on the ego.

Foo wants to know why
The front page is lacking Foo
Foo Foo Foo. Foo Foo.

Those Florsheim Veblens
Should be far more expensive
Given their namesake

Introduce new brands
It is what we like to do
Frui ties, buy buy buy

@nahneun Give us a Korean haiku

cyc wid it:

We miss thumb comments
Thumbs alone do not compare
tcwalter's muse

nahneun:

Indigo ninjas
Battling space warriors
Over suits and ties


p.s. i know who you are, mr. roboto....

@Claghorn

it ended up being 5-8-4

I preserved it for the English translation.

내가 왜 이런
일본시를 써야는지
모르겠다

I do not know why
I have to write a Japanese
haiku like this

danwatts2005:

Winter ******* sucks
All my dress shoes are ruined
Need some new AEs

LA Guy:

Duckie Brown collab
With Styleforum and Viberg?
I would mos def kop.

Robot incorrect
Must adjust parameters
Coffee is awesome.

"Outfit of the day"
Regular Frontpage feature
Gonna abuse it.

I once photoshopped'
A What Are You Wearing
To get a six pack

What's up with frontpage?
Who puts up all this bullshit?
Robot will kill you.

edinatlanta:

in stitches sucks but
not as much as what are you
wearing right now thread

I had sexual
relations with your mother,
Mark I's ex girl friend.

Maiser:

In this haiku I will use,
seven-five-seven
instead of five-seven-five

bings:

some of these are great reading...

outbid on ebay
spoo can you hook me up bro?
cop dat brunello

thought my rollie cool
not the hottest movement though
watch appreciation thread

i hate to lowball
but here's a lowball offer
accepted... success

 

[notwithit]

So what's my sweet new custom title? I'd lobby for "Militant Grammarian" for the DFW reference, but I'm pretty sure there's a universal rule about not being able to pick your own monicker. Also, I don't live in Massachusetts.