Exposing a friend's cheating?

[Ambulance Chaser]

Let's say that you have a friend who you know, or have very good reason to believe, is cheating on his girlfriend. You are strongly attracted to the girlfriend. Are there any circumstances in which you would tell the girlfriend about your friend's extracurriculars in an attempt to break them up and get with the girlfriend yourself? Does it depend on how close the friend is?

Please note that this is not a personal situation disguised as a hypothetical. I heard it on the radio bit War Of The Roses on Hot 99.5, with the sexes reversed. A woman called in to the station and wanted to expose the alleged cheating of her high school best friend and sorority sister so that she could get with the best friend's boyfriend. She actually believed that this stunt would not harm her relationship with her best friend. The best friend ended up sending roses to the boyfriend, and a catfight/train wreck predictably ensued.

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by Ambulance Chaser

Let's say that you have a friend who you know, or have very good reason to believe, is cheating on his girlfriend. You are strongly attracted to the girlfriend. Are there any circumstances in which you would tell the girlfriend about your friend's extracurriculars in an attempt to break them up and get with the girlfriend yourself? Does it depend on how close the friend is?

Please note that this is not a personal situation disguised as a hypothetical. I heard it on the radio bit War Of The Roses on Hot 99.5, with the sexes reversed. A woman called in to the station and wanted to expose the alleged cheating of her high school best friend and sorority sister so that she could get with the best friend's boyfriend. She actually believed that this stunt would not harm the relationship. The best friend ended up sending roses to the boyfriend, and a catfight/train wreck predictably ensued.


I did this when I was 14. got me a very hot girl, but also made me a jerk. frankly, I am not joking when I say that I had no real morals and am ashamed at what I did.

 

[edmorel]

Not that I am a great moral authority or anything, but I had a friend who was in love with a girl and she was all over me. I refused to do anything with her simply due to my friend. She even told me that whether or not I got with her, my friend had no chance with her, I still declined. I could never imagine selling a true friend for a piece of snatch. In life, there will be many hot girls but very few friends.

 

[Jared]

Bros before Hos

 

[Dakota rube]

The part of your question, AC — about using the ratting to get the girl — makes this pretty clear cut.

But to put a different tack on the question: if I knew my best friend's girl was cheating on him, I am obliged to tell him.

 

[migo]

Originally Posted by Jared

Bros before Hos

 

[CTGuy]

I voted bros before hos. I can't imagine doing it. I try not to think of my friend's significant others in this way. It is a messy game if you think of them as anything other than asexual.

If I thought I was in love with someone who knows what I would do. But honestly-- If a friend pulled a stunt like this with me I would be totally and utterly incensed. I would never talk to him again.

 

[thinman]

Originally Posted by edmorel

I could never imagine selling a true friend for a piece of snatch. In life, there will be many hot girls but very few friends.

+1

 

[LA Guy]

No way man. Friends are friends. I mean, you were friends with the girl before with the guy, and didn't want her to get hurt, that is different. And then you have to be careful that you do not get involved with her, so that your intentions (or lack thereof) are obvious.

But to get the girl? No way. That is really, really, uncool.

 

[Earthmover]

I believe the new modified rule is "Bros before sevens and below."

But I only use the "Bros before hoes" rule when it comes to more minor things, like when hanging out at a bar, hooking up with random strangers, cockblock dynamics, etc.

In a case like this, the bros before hoes rule gets superceded by the fact that there's a friend of yours and a girl that probably isn't a "ho." Crashing the boards and trying to date the girl is a definite nono, but I'm not sure if mentioning of the guy's cheating is necessarily bad. I think for the most part, I'll just say it's not my business, but I think it'll depend on whether he's really a friend or an acquaintance. So scumbag acquaintaince + a really good girl ---> may lead to me telling, but that's because I have strange ideas about justice and sometimes get on a high horse. But unless it's an extreme, I usually stay out and would definitely err on the side of caution.

 

[jett]

It's almost always bad to get mixed up in friends relationships, even if you are being altruistic. I made that mistake once and it went badly all around and I spent several months making sure I didn't get jumped or stabbed. My efforts did jack **** except get me badmouthed and threatened. In your case it's not even really altruism since you are trying to get with his girlfriend, nothing good will come of it. If anything I'd recommend reconsidering your relationship with your friend, cheating on someone while in a monogamous relationship is generally a sign that someone is an asshole and has no honor.

 

[sho'nuff]

Originally Posted by edmorel

Not that I am a great moral authority or anything, but I had a friend who was in love with a girl and she was all over me. I refused to do anything with her simply due to my friend. She even told me that whether or not I got with her, my friend had no chance with her, I still declined. I could never imagine selling a true friend for a piece of snatch. In life, there will be many hot girls but very few friends.


after reading this, i like you even more Ed.

to me, the term, "Bros before Hos" does not just apply to , your guy friend before anything else in the balance of a woman or her situation or emotions.

it is also a term, for me , applied to anything universal, can be vice versa as well.

bro just means either your guy friend, or a woman friend, or anyone who has a value to you in friendship, or your value in integrity or faithfulness or what have you
over
Hos , which is just a universal term for quick short-lived advantage , something that tempts you to weigh it against your value or priorities


forget it , i dont make sense.

 

[odoreater]

I've said it before and I'll say it again - nothin worse than a rat.

 

[edmorel]

Originally Posted by odoreater

I've said it before and I'll say it again - nothin worse than a rat.


Well so far we've seen one guy here go to a party hosted by someone who set up their friend and now this guy is ready to screw his friend over for a broad. I guarantee you both of these dudes are under 25. Bitches.

 

[odoreater]

Originally Posted by edmorel

Well so far we've seen one guy here go to a party hosted by someone who set up their friend and now this guy is ready to screw his friend over for a broad. I guarantee you both of these dudes are under 25. Bitches.

Yeah, if this chick buys him some beer, that should seal the deal.