Worst things about prison...

[Hombre Secreto]

Originally Posted by foodguy

it was in abq ... martineztown all the way, ese!

 

[thekunk07]

truth

Originally Posted by NorCal

The best thing about jail threads?... A bunch of dumb **** yuppies talking hard and making pronouncements like they have a ******* clue.

 

[FLMountainMan]

Originally Posted by Tokyo Slim

Did John Malkovich hold your daughter's stuffed bunny hostage?

Yes.

Random tangent - the more I think about, the more I realize how much worse Nic Cage's character made the situation. The plane was going to land in a desert, but there was an undercover agent on board who was going to tell the feds about it. so everyone would've been recaptured. Instead, Cage gets the agent killed, keeps the plane from landing in the desert and instead crash lands it and it's crew of felons in the most densely populated strip of land in the state of Nevada.

WTF?

 

[Tokyo Slim]

Originally Posted by FLMountainMan

Yes.

Random tangent - the more I think about, the more I realize how much worse Nic Cage's character made the situation. The plane was going to land in a desert, but there was an undercover agent on board who was going to tell the feds about it. so everyone would've been recaptured. Instead, Cage gets the agent killed, keeps the plane from landing in the desert and instead crash lands it and it's crew of felons in the most densely populated strip of land in the state of Nevada.

WTF?

He's not supposed to be a brilliant physicist or anything, he's supposed to be a reformed hot tempered hell raiser, trying for redemption and a normal life, with a penchant for ******* stuff up.

 

[Gong Tao]

I think it is pretty clearly bogus. 33 murders in two years in one prison, and he personally saw 12? He lifted his cellmate for exercise?

 

[Suave]

Originally Posted by Gong Tao

I think it is pretty clearly bogus. 33 murders in two years in one prison, and he personally saw 12? He lifted his cellmate for exercise?

they really do lift each other for exercise. they law on your back while you do situps, and several other exercises. i've seen it on msnbc's lockup (great show btw)

murders happen but he seriously exagerated

 

[FLMountainMan]

Originally Posted by Tokyo Slim

He's not supposed to be a brilliant physicist or anything, he's supposed to be a reformed hot tempered hell raiser, trying for redemption and a normal life, with a penchant for ******* stuff up.

I guess I need to change role models then.

I guess I'll try to emulate Maverick from Top Gun. Nothing wrong with that character.

they really do lift each other for exercise. they law on your back while you do situps, and several other exercises. i've seen it on msnbc's lockup (great show btw)

My older brother said this was fairly common too. The stand on the back while you do pushups thing being pretty standard.

 

[Tokyo Slim]

Originally Posted by FLMountainMan

I guess I need to change role models then.

I guess I'll try to emulate Maverick from Top Gun. Nothing wrong with that character.(10)

FTFY

 

[M. Bardamu]

I have a good friend who, 15 years ago, made the ill-advised decision to carry cargo from the UK to Canada for $$$$. Unfortunately, the plane he was on got diverted to Dulles, where the cargo was viewed in a different light than it would be in either the UK or Canada (not that it was especially welcome in either jurisdiction...).

He wound up in a county jail in VA, and after being processed and filing into the main room with other newbs, he passed a line of inmates heading for the shower. From across the room, one African-American inmate yells at another in the shower lineup:

"HEY, LARRY! LARRY JOHNSON!! THASS RIGHT BOY, YOU GO GET THAT ***** ALL WASH UP FOR ME!!"

My friend almost crapped his pants in fear, until an hour later he realized that this was a running gag between the two. He spent his time before making bail playing dominoes, watching TV and getting fat.

 

[Lone Wolf]

Originally Posted by FLMountainMan

Damn, that's some crazy ****. Reminds me of when I was in the army and four guys tried to take me on to get my girl. I wound killing a few and they sent me to federal prison. Eventually me and some other inmates were put on a transport plane. Some other inmates hijacked it though, because they wanted to land it in the middle of the desert and escape. There was an undercover federal agent on board, but I distracted him and he got shot

.

I still couldn't let those bastards land the plane in the middle of the desert. So instead, I took over the plane full of convicts and crash-landed it into the Las Vegas Strip. Some crazy ****, I'm lucky to be alive.

When I worked for the government I agreed to have the face of a terrorist transplanted with my face and take his place in a prison where his brother was so his brother would tell me where the bomb that was going to blow up L.A. was hidden. But the terrorist ended up free on the outside wearing my face and I was left in prison with his face, while he went home to my hot wife from whom I had been growing distant and my equally hot but troubled teenage daughter with whom I had been having a lot of problems, and hilarity ensued for all of us.

 

[West24]

Originally Posted by Lone Wolf

When I worked for the government I agreed to have the face of a terrorist transplanted with my face and take his place in a prison where his brother was so his brother would tell me where the bomb that was going to blow up L.A. was hidden. But the terrorist ended up free on the outside wearing my face and I was left in prison with his face, while he went home to my hot wife from whom I had been growing distant and my equally hot but troubled teenage daughter with whom I had been having a lot of problems, and hilarity ensued for all of us.

i call BS

 

[Surreal]

OP's post made me realize how good my life is.

 

[Da Luis Vuitton Don]

Suprise butt secks is a suprise, and but secks

gets no worse then that, im pretty sure i would rather be executed!!!!! wait, i found this.....so i guess butt secks is unavoidable in prison, is this one of the trade secrets!!!!!!