Mental Health and Clothing

[stuffedsuperdud]

I just started and am enjoying Alec Leach’s new short manifesto of a book on this topic: “The world is on fire but we’re still buying shoes.“ https://alecleach.com/

I bought this after you recommended it and read it all in one bleary-eyed shot. I imagine he's not the first fashion insider to speak out about the industry's horrors and our complicity in it, but as an engineer, I appreciated how he breaks down the not-all-that-complicated algorithm that marketing cockbags use to separate us from our money while destroying the world. it was new to me the way he presented our lizard-brain urges and cravings in the context of existential crisis, and how mindfulness is a window to overcoming them.

Hi I agree with you about the talking cure its been helpful to me over some very bleak times in my ife. But I wonder what exercise are you doing? I have a Black Dog and I know when the mongrel is rattling its chains, so first off I cut right back on the alcohol or virtually stop drinking and increase my exercise load. I will hit the gym treadmills, circuit training & weights, not that I behave like the young bulls in the top paddock. I aim for four to five visits a week as opposed to three till the beast sulks off and retreats to the kennel. I also have a 35 kilo lap dog (Red Nose Pitbul) who requires a lot of power walking not happy if its under 45 minutes morning and night. So while the talking cure is all well and good I just wonder about your exercise regimen.

Not Horker, but my $0.02 in case it's informative, as I've been training heavy for 10+ years and a big part of it is to maintain my grip on sanity.

I typically do squats about 2x a week, once from the back and once from the front, and deadlifts also 2x a week. Bench press, overhead press, and rows also about 1x a week. All exercises for 3-5 heavier sets after warmups. Rep ranges from 8-10 during weeks 1-4 of a training cycle to 1-2 during weeks 10-12, when peaking. Weights are selected so that the last 1-2 reps of any given set are hard but not a crusher. I also do a lot of snatch, clean, and jerk and supplemental dumbbell work but that's not really relevant for most people and/or anyone doing this for mental health reasons.

I recommend barbells because that's how you can load up the most weight (e.g. if you can do dumbbell bench press with 50lbs in each hand, you can probably do well over 50+50=100lbs with a barbell even though the movement looks the same), which I like for both for the physical benefits as well as to train my mental clarity. When you are able to completely clear your mind and hit a heavy lift just right, it feels almost weightless even though it might be 90%+ of your 1 rep max. I wonder if this is a lite version of the meditative breakthroughs that some folks, e.g. Buddhist monks, experience. Of course you are still limited by your anatomy and physiology, so you cannot go heavy every day. For lighter days where I am just going through the motions lifting a relatively light weight for 8-10 reps, or doing something non-lifty like the bike or the treadmill or going on a walk/jog/hike/run, it's still a chance to practice being 100% in the moment or, if nothing else, it's a good exercise in patience and delaying gratification.

 

[stuffedsuperdud]

Buzz Bissinger: My Gucci Addiction

In the past few years, I've bought eighty-one leather jackets. Dozens of boots and leather gloves. I've purchased pants that cost $5,000. I own a $22,000 coat. This winter I took a tour of Milan's Fashion Week (all expenses paid by Gucci, in appreciation of my many, many purchases), where I...

www.gq.com

This is an article that was cited in the book recommended by @jreuter. A quick enough read, and a very honest take on a state of mental distress that perhaps more than a few of us here have experienced (though the author's case seems a rather extreme version of it, the culmination of a lifetime of issues that he tried to address with $600,000+ worth of new clothes). On the other hand, it did make me feel better about the way most SF types are actually quite neurotic about their purchases, and far from impulsive buying, if anything overthink things quite a bit before pulling any triggers.

 

[tweedlover]

Hasn't anyone in this thread pointed out the age-old maxim that money, (and the clothes it buys), doesn't buy happiness?

 

[real_madrid]

Interesting enough topic, I signed up.

Chasing the rainbow of perfect fit. Jumping from fabric to fabric, tailor to tailor trying to find the right fit for my not so not so well carved torso.

It has been agonising and frustrating.

Still have not discovered perfection, but I have compromised.

Another - is of never finding the right piece for the moment in the overflowing wardrobe.

 

[TheJoker932]

I've debated making this thread for a while, hopefully something useful comes out of it. Trying to create a jumping off point for mental health discussion and its potential intersection with clothing.

My own issues.

In the past, I'd just pretend I didn't have any issues, nor did I have self-awareness.

My own neuroticism, anxiety, and OCD has gotten in the way of dressing well and finding what I truly like.

Pacing back and forth and taking 50 photos of one fit and then obsessing about it to the point of being unable to do anything else that day is an activity I've done. Nope, this isn't functional, nor is it fun.

I've also bought clothing when I was in a giddy, anxious mood and that bit me in the butt long term.

I enjoy clothing, but it can be used as a distraction or for escapism in a bad way. That dopamine hit is great when you order something or fantasize about a fit, but doesn't fill the holes or flaws in my life.

Dealing with my issues

For me, lifting weights keeps me relatively grounded and relaxed from addictive tendencies. Journaling every night about my day and what triggers my anxiety or ruminations has helped for self-awareness. I rate things out of 10 for severity.

Mindful meditation has helped as well. Creating a distance from a lot of my "junk mail" thoughts and treating them as sounds that come and go has helped manage how I deal with distracting thoughts.

Creating a list of items that I "need" vs. "want" for clothing helps me plan out long term purchases and gets rid of a lot of guilty feelings. "Need" in the sense that I'm better off buying polos, in basic colours, for my current wardrobe cohesiveness rather than a 9th overcoat.

On a positive note for emotions, I've started dressing simply on what I felt like doing on a whim that day or week. The past couple years is when I've felt I can actually start enjoying my clothing, and also consequently developing my sense of style as well.

Big overcoats, chunky eyewear, scarves, highly textured fabrics, bold patterns are my favourite. I feel comfortable and protected.

Your own issues?

Anyone else have issues with their mental health and its relationship to clothing?

Have you dealt with them?

If so, how?

What worked? What didn't work?

if its any comfort being shut in has been similar for me
all I can say is
congratulations you are now officially a dandy

 

[TheJoker932]

Hasn't anyone in this thread pointed out the age-old maxim that money, (and the clothes it buys), doesn't buy happiness?

no but showing off in them works for me

 

[FlyingHorker]

Interesting enough topic, I signed up.

Chasing the rainbow of perfect fit. Jumping from fabric to fabric, tailor to tailor trying to find the right fit for my not so not so well carved torso.

It has been agonising and frustrating.

Still have not discovered perfection, but I have compromised.

Another - is of never finding the right piece for the moment in the overflowing wardrobe.

My favourite moments is culling my wardrobe. A nice rule I like to go by is if I haven't worn it in a year, it tends to go. I've broken this rule too, but it's a general guideline for myself.

I enjoyed delving into workwear, it lends itself to imperfections. Denim jackets, fatigue pants. I like that I don't have to think too hard to pull off and wear those.

Welcome to SF though, hope you enjoy it. Same to @TheJoker932

 

[TheJoker932]

My favourite moments is culling my wardrobe. A nice rule I like to go by is if I haven't worn it in a year, it tends to go. I've broken this rule too, but it's a general guideline for myself.

I enjoyed delving into workwear, it lends itself to imperfections. Denim jackets, fatigue pants. I like that I don't have to think too hard to pull off and wear those.

Welcome to SF though, hope you enjoy it. Same to @TheJoker932

thinking of getting a denim jacket in white and putting rhinestone studs in floral patterns on it, might look a bit on the camp side so I've not committed yet, what do you reckon?

 

[FlyingMonkey]

I have decided that I can't afford to be undisciplined about clothing, financially and mentally. So, I've assigned myself a very strict budget for the next decade of no more than $1000 a year, and I will stick to it. It just means I have to be very careful to restrict myself to very specific quality (and probably, used) items very occasionally. I'm happy with my wardrobe in general.

 

[FlyingHorker]

thinking of getting a denim jacket in white and putting rhinestone studs in floral patterns on it, might look a bit on the camp side so I've not committed yet, what do you reckon?

Sounds dope in my head, but I don't know your style. Campy isn't necessarily a bad thing. Streetwear forum probably has the best advice for this kind of thing.

I often don't know how long or how much I'll wear something until it's actually in my closet.

Lots of "buy it for life" mantras don't necessarily work out that way I've found.

I have decided that I can't afford to be undisciplined about clothing, financially and mentally. So, I've assigned myself a very strict budget for the next decade of no more than $1000 a year, and I will stick to it. It just means I have to be very careful to restrict myself to very specific quality (and probably, used) items very occasionally. I'm happy with my wardrobe in general.

I was going to make a thread and ask if anyone else does this.

I made an excel file and gave myself a budget for the next 4 months, let's see if I can stick to it.

Good luck man, we'll both need it.

 

[hpreston]

I've been meaning to jump in on this thread for a while, but not sure what to say, that adds to the conversation.

I'll start (echoing things that have already been stated) but there are so many layers to this discussion I relate to.
The quest for perfection; is my sport coat too short? are the sleeves too short, or gasp, too long... which is worse?? trousers, do they kiss the top of my shoes or start to puddle, does anyone care??
Spending too much... in this kop kop kop forum, how do I impress others on the forum? Better question, why should I strive to impress them (or anyone for that matter?) I now have a "purchase" spreadsheet, with a "tailoring plan" if its not on the list, I don't buy it, but this is after years or chasing sales, and things that might fit off of eBay....

Then the identity question? Who am I? What do I portray to others? and is what I am portraying what i am really aiming for?
I was recently described by a coworker as the guy who looks like a professor, am I good with that? Is that was I was aiming for? Maybe its my grey beard (grown and worn with pride after almost 30 yrs in the military)

All this to say, I hear you, I have suffered depression and anxiety, and some of the symptoms manifest through clothing (and this forum)

hopefully my next post in this thread adds a bit to the conversation, vice the rehash above....

 

[banantees]

I'm a pretty bad person when it comes to choosing trendy clothes. I feel like I go 1-2 years slower than others. The current clothing models are trending, but I am not very interested and like the clothes that were a few years ago. That is my problem. It's strange

 

[Warrant_Buffet]

Thank God indeed we have a thread for mental health.

Been getting tailor-made jackets as a way to cope with my anxiety and chronic dep. for a couple of years now. Turns out it won't be enough.

A colleague took his own life yesterday. I barely knew him but it hit me hard. As an educator, of course I'd have to be with the kids, but once I sent them home, I started to think that I could have ended up doing the same thing the colleague did.

Sorry for the negative vibes folks. I'm just looking for a place to let out my emotions... really sorry

 

[FlyingHorker]

Thank God indeed we have a thread for mental health.

Been getting tailor-made jackets as a way to cope with my anxiety and chronic dep. for a couple of years now. Turns out it won't be enough.

A colleague took his own life yesterday. I barely knew him but it hit me hard. As an educator, of course I'd have to be with the kids, but once I sent them home, I started to think that I could have ended up doing the same thing the colleague did.

Sorry for the negative vibes folks. I'm just looking for a place to let out my emotions... really sorry

All good man, rant away. Don't have to apologize at all for purging emotions, it's necessary.

I've been doing the same thing with buying jackets and suits to cope with anxiety and depression.

Someone recently posted this in the SWD forum, maybe the article will be useful.

How do you stop feeling like you need to buy everything you like?

Remedies for "compulsive coppers," and the debut of N.O. C.A.P. Mindset

www.blackbirdspyplane.com

 

[hpreston]

Thank God indeed we have a thread for mental health.

Been getting tailor-made jackets as a way to cope with my anxiety and chronic dep. for a couple of years now. Turns out it won't be enough.

A colleague took his own life yesterday. I barely knew him but it hit me hard. As an educator, of course I'd have to be with the kids, but once I sent them home, I started to think that I could have ended up doing the same thing the colleague did.

Sorry for the negative vibes folks. I'm just looking for a place to let out my emotions... really sorry

This is why this thread is so great (thanks @FlyingHorker ) so,

1) very sorry to hear about your colleague,
2) taking care of your self is the most important thing.
3) no need to be sorry or apologize....

All good man, rant away. Don't have to apologize at all for purging emotions, it's necessary.

I've been doing the same thing with buying jackets and suits to cope with anxiety and depression.

Someone recently posted this in the SWD forum, maybe the article will be useful.

How do you stop feeling like you need to buy everything you like?

Remedies for "compulsive coppers," and the debut of N.O. C.A.P. Mindset

www.blackbirdspyplane.com

Interesting read there.

I've been coping with similar personal choices/behaviors.... Not sure I 100% agree with all of their recommendations, but there are some good strategies there.

This one in particular, while good intentioned (and they admit is imperfect) would negate me shopping from one of favorite retailers (NMWA)"One imperfect yet productive way I’ve been personally trying to do this is to only buy things that stoke desire in person, establishing a higher bar of dopeness (and lower probability of regret) than is involved with e-commerce. This is also known as the C.I.R.L.O.C. (Cop I.R.L. Only Challenge) "



What I have tried to do (seems be moderately working, but requires will power and discipline) is to have a running wish list for both tailoring and bus casual items. That way, when a cool new product drops, or goes on sale, if its not on the list, I don't buy it.... which is essentially my way of implementing this: "The first remedy for this compulsion is to introduce productive kinds of friction into the exchange — that is, try to add more boxes that need to be checked for the bells to clang / before you smash the coppington."

Changing topics, one thing I have personally been struggling with is the constant need for perfection in tailoring..... I tend to obsess, and then get frustrated with purchases if the sleeves or pant length is just off, or the jacket is a hair too short..... the obsession is very frustrating.