Your most recent awkward moment

Originally Posted by Saucemaster

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Given JBZ's story, this seems apropos:

I work on the Penn campus. Last winter, I talked for a little while with one of the campus police officers, who had questions about the building, which doors were normally left unlocked, etc etc. Bland stuff. Anyway, he was an easygoing guy, joked around a bit. Seemed pretty cool. As I'm leaving work a couple hours later, I see that he and three other campus police officers are standing and chatting in the plaza outside. I walk through the (ice-covered) plaza on my way out, and I give him the little head nod that guys give each other when they want to acknowledge the other guy but you both know you don't really have anything to talk about. RIGHT as I give him The Nod, my right foot goes completely out from under me; I go completely horizontal in mid-air. Perfectly parallel with the ground, something straight out of a cartoon. I have enough presence of mind to half-toss my bag off to the right so that I don't land on it and break my camera, phone, sunglasses, etc, and land flat on my back with a thud. Wind completely knocked out of me. I look up and all four guys are staring at me with that face that says "Holy ****, that was hilarious, but if this guy's seriously hurt and I'm laughing, I'm be an asshole." So I sat up and said "Perfect 10 on the landing!" and they all started laughing hysterically. I picked up my bag, grinned sheepishly, and walked away VERY CAREFULLY. No head nods on the way out.

hilarious and nice recovery!

Originally Posted by GoSurface

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An old lady who was walking in the opposite direction as me pushed me today. I didn't even see her coming. She very seriously, and forcefully power-walked (it was one of those snobbishly entitled power-walks) right into my shoulder, knocking me off balance. I turned around and said "Excuse you" and she said "Maybe you should have MOVED," and I said, "Maybe YOU should have......" *************.
LITERALLY this morning, Im walking down a tight sidewalk with a scaffold over it, and two women are taking up the sidewalk into my direction, i glanced up at her and slowed down a bit to my right assuming the woman walking into my direction would yield like a normal pedestrian, but nope- not wanting to compromise the quality of conversation with her friend she stays on path as if i wasnt there and bangs right into me (i felt it coming so i was prepared) i know she knows she made the wrong move...

Originally Posted by itskub

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LITERALLY this morning, Im walking down a tight sidewalk with a scaffold over it, and two women are taking up the sidewalk into my direction, i glanced up at her and slowed down a bit to my right assuming the woman walking into my direction would yield like a normal pedestrian, but nope- not wanting to compromise the quality of conversation with her friend she stays on path as if i wasnt there and bangs right into me (i felt it coming so i was prepared) i know she knows she made the wrong move...

I think women just assume that men should bend in their presence, and give way. Having strep, and a monstrous headache, the last thing I noticed was some 65 year old puta power walking. I swear, if I had aids, I would have cut myself and poured my blood on that ladies face, I was livid.

These women need to become aquainted with my corollary (which I call Adams's Corollary). It is the corollary to "Those people who think they know everything are annoying to those of us who do." It is as follows:

"Those of you who think you are entitled are annoying to those of us who are."

Originally Posted by GoSurface

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I think women just assume that men should bend in their presence, and give way. Having strep, and a monstrous headache, the last thing I noticed was some 65 year old puta power walking. I swear, if I had aids, I would have cut myself and poured my blood on that ladies face, I was livid.

I have a feeling that quote will be read on a Dateline NBC special eventually

Stone Phillips: "He posted this ominous message on the internet under the name GoSurface hours before he tragically..."

Originally Posted by FidelCashflow

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I have a feeling that quote will be read on a Dateline NBC special eventually

Stone Phillips: "He posted this ominous message on the internet under the name GoSurface hours before he tragically..."

You're making me feel like such an evil person. Can't give an old lady a break.

One time after being hammered at a friend's bday. Managed to get on a minibus home, during the bumpy ride I was holding back my vomit, and I swore I swallowed some of it back. Finally couldn't hold it anymore and puked all over the aisle. I was too drunk at that time to care, but I was so embrassed I got off the minibus at the next stop. Poor guy next to me was 'pretending' to sleep and not notice it but I tell ya, could've smelled that rotten cheese/egg smell a mile away.

Your move sherlock. ~ Peter Griffin

Today, at work, I went to ask a couple if they were finding everything ok/had any questions. They were eyeballing a previous year's model Brother All-in-one printer (really cheap). They asked me what the differences were between it and a lower model. I explained and they told me that it was a gift for a friend. I asked them if the friend was planning on printing any photos to which they replied "yeah probably" I then say "geeze, well then I wouldnt get this one. In all honesty its a Brother Inkjets suck for photos." They look at me with dismay saying that their Brother does good photos (none of the brothers have ever done good photos, most have been meh to poor. The only good Brother machines are the lasers, the inkjets suck). I kinda got wide eyed/glossed over and said "Yeah, ok well... do you want to get a service plan to cover it for all wear and tear... etc," they promptly said no, I walked away with a choking sensation from my foot being shoved deep in my mouth.

Replying "Thanks Man" to the UPS driver, then realizing it was a crew cutted girl of the butch variety.

I was on a 12 hour flight.. heavy flatulence.. The hot silents that smell like sulfur + feces. To play it off I'd turn around and look at the nearby lavatory and cringe or shake my head every so often. I could see it was taking a toll on the other passengers. After a particulary nasty one, the lady across the aisle was furiously pressing the flight attendant call button. No one came.

Originally Posted by Jsoftz

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Erm. Maybe a public forum is not the best place to post this.

Was at a strip club last week, and ran into a girl I had a crush on when I was a freshman in High School. She was a very conservative girl, socially awkward and both of us could have easily been characterized as the high school nerd types. I always thought she was real skinny because she wore shapeless clothes.

Anyhow, it turns out she is a stripper now.. she was extremely embarrassed and I have to admit it was very strange for me too, seeing her on the stage like that. We talked for maybe 30 minutes to a hour and caught up, but even that was pretty weird.

Easily the most awkward experience I've ever had.

Did you buy her 25 dollar glass of Coke?

I cannot imagine how this could be embarrassing for you. I would qualify this moment as the best high school flash back ever.

Originally Posted by shoe

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this happens to me sometimes when i am on a plane by myself.

somebody sits next to me that for some reason has a need to try to make conversation with me.
i usually dont talk to anyone and am more comfortable not talking, unless there is something actually interesting to talk about or important.

but this person just needs to make small talk with me about such boring stuff. i dont know. sometimes he asks me where i am from, how's the weather there, what is the reason why i am flying, where do i work , and etc.

like cmon, i just want to rest. turn my head to the side and look out the window and fall asleep, but for some reason, i feel guilty doing that to him. i have a tendency to try to respond and put on a fake smile and force out a chuckle when he tries to say something funny. this is so tiring. i just wish i can get up and change seats.
or tell him, look i dont want to talk can you leave me alone for the next 4 hours??

but i cannot.
i sit there and go through hell for 4 hours.

This is the best description of existential hell that is USA.

Originally Posted by dkzzzz

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This is the best description of existential hell that is USA.

Headphones shoe. The big over the ear ones that say leave me be.

Originally Posted by acidicboy

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Back in college: rode the metro going home drunk, ran out of the train to throw up, but got puke all over my shirt. Went back in. Oh, and it was rush hour, too.

Do you mean you partied all night and hit subway during morning rush-hour? That is awesome. Props to you.

Did Sun that morning felt like God's flash-light?

Originally Posted by dkzzzz

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Do you mean you partied all night and hit subway during morning rush-hour? That is awesome. Props to you.

Did Sun that morning felt like God's flash-light?

+1. This guy is no quitter!