FYI: Divorce sux

Originally Posted by thekunk07

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^sick joke bro. the cervical camera I had inserted alerts me to intruders.
Pooper.

I am sorry to hear this. Good Luck.

^^^ The interesting thing about premarital agreements is that (a) they are typically characterized as contracts, but (b) they are subject to the approval of the legal system and can be thrown out if deemed to be "unfair." But I find there to be a relatively broad spectrum of definitions of "fair" and, at the same time, most folks who get these aren't looking at 70/30 or 80/20 as "fair" in the first place. They want to protect their premarital assets or a family business or avoid alimony.

A split of your assets (whether that is 50/50 or something else) is just about property (the tangible stuff). Separate arguments can be made about alimony or child support, which come from income. It sucks to be a man paying to support his ex-wife and kids, but it isn't always peaches and cream to be left as a single mother, either. I can say that, regularly representing both sides.

^^^ My feeling is that if the kids standards have to be maintained (and i'd agree with that), then why should they almost always go automatically to the mother, who makes far less money, requiring large payments from the father to subsidize the mother's living arrangements to bring them up to par? If they just lived with the father (or whoever makes the most money) that person wouldn't get screwed indirectly paying the new mortgage of their ex-wife. And when she starts ******* a new guy and the husband is still paying...

I remember my mother trying to get child support from my father when I was in university (she needed my cooperation for whatever reason b/c I wasn't 18 anymore). She was trying to tell me that he should be paying for my education and that if she got child support that's what would happen. I told her no ******* way and that he'd been fleeced enough. All this time he was living in a ****** apartment while she was living in a luxurious 3 story house.

Anyway, with divorce rates as they are and with women initiating the majority of them, you have to be crazy as a man to marry someone that earns substantially less than you do. I can say that I won't get married until i have a substantial, and off-limits, nest egg. There will be no co-mingling of teh g33ks funds.

Originally Posted by kwilkinson

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I can say that I won't get married until i have a substantial, and off-limits, nest egg. There will be no co-mingling of teh g33ks funds.

You really have very little to worry about when it comes to marriage. If I was you, I wouldn't even give it a second thought.

Originally Posted by edmorel

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You really have very little to worry about when it comes to marriage. If I was you, I wouldn't even give it a second thought.

Originally Posted by edmorel

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You really have very little to worry about when it comes to marriage. If I was you, I wouldn't even give it a second thought.

Well, homosexuals are allowed to marry in some states . . .

Originally Posted by edmorel

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You really have very little to worry about when it comes to marriage. If I was you, I wouldn't even give it a second thought.

Hah. I knew you were going to come along and edit my post. I even thought about doing it for you.

Originally Posted by GQgeek

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Hah. I knew you were going to come along and edit my post. I even thought about doing it for you.

I didn't see an edit. And I thought the same thing as ed.

Originally Posted by Thomas

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I didn't see an edit. And I thought the same thing as ed.

look at the name of who he quoted.

Lost my wife to cancer after 25 years of marriage, Remained single for 10 years. Remarried to a woman who'd been through a messy divorce. I believe her experience was harder than mine. Been married 10 years now. Couldn't possibly be happier.

Hope things are going well for you Mark.

Originally Posted by edmorel

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You really have very little to worry about when it comes to marriage. If I was you, I wouldn't even give it a second thought.

Why did you quote me and then put G33ks words in?

Originally Posted by kwilkinson

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Why did you quote me and then put G33ks words in?

Yeah, does not compute. I'd say Kwilk marries before GQG, which would be before Conne.

Originally Posted by Thomas

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Yeah, does not compute. I'd say Kwilk marries before GQG, which would be before Conne.

At least kwilk won't have to worry about kids when he gets divorced.

Originally Posted by GQgeek

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This is fine if you have significant assets going in to the marriage, but if the bulk of your assets were earned after you got married, then you are screwed.

I know this is true where I live, but I thought that in most states you can include a clause in the pre-nup that basically continues the division between "marital" and "separate" property.

Originally Posted by GQgeek

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As for prenups, I'm not lawyer and no expert there. I remember LD saying in another related thread that despite what you put down on paper, they are often invalidated at the discretion of the judge. Lets say a husband makes 150k/yr and the wife makes 40k. The wife doesn't quit her job, except for a short time just after the pregnancy. Assuming you could get the wife to agree to it, would a pre-arranged split of 70/30 of assets obtained after the marriage ever be allowed to stand?

That's why you insist on the other spouse retaining his/her own legal counsel to review the pre-nup prior to signing it, and include language to that effect in the document.

Originally Posted by Benzito

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^^^ The interesting thing about premarital agreements is that (a) they are typically characterized as contracts, but (b) they are subject to the approval of the legal system and can be thrown out if deemed to be "unfair." . . .

A split of your assets (whether that is 50/50 or something else) is just about property (the tangible stuff). Separate arguments can be made about alimony or child support, which come from income. It sucks to be a man paying to support his ex-wife and kids, but it isn't always peaches and cream to be left as a single mother, either. I can say that, regularly representing both sides.

+1. It's funny... the best pre-nups I see invariably come from the woman. Also, in my jurisdiction, any agreement purporting to set up child support is unenforceable without the approval of the court, and there is a set mathematical formula for child support from which the court will deviate in only the most rare of circumstances. Also, the other side is absolutely barred from receiving alimony if the divorce is obtained on grounds of adultery. Lovely, I think.