Things you just don't get

[HORNS]

Such weak stomachs in this thread. Y'all wouldn't stand a chance in some country with no hygienic standards. I ate somewhere in China then was 5hitting blood later in the evening...thought death was knocking on the door.

This is one of the most obscene street food videos I've ever watched.

 

[PhilKenSebben]

and/or you ate the whole 1500 calorie burrito in one sitting and that's 75% of your usual food intake in the span of 15 minutes

 

[ValidusLA]

A chipotle burrito is basically tortilla, rice, and beans with a scoop of freshly-cooked whole (non-ground) meat.. Add some dairy/veggies and at most moderate spiciness.

If that messes with your stomach and stains your underwear, it is because you eat like **** and your body doesn't know what to do with a surge of fiber (and/or you ate the whole 1500 calorie burrito in one sitting and that's 75% of your usual food intake in the span of 15 minutes).
It is a meme because Americans eat burgers/fries and other **** for every meal and chipotle has far more vegetable mass than they get anywhere else.

I mean sure...if you have some dairy/lactose issues, maybe don't load up on sour cream and cheese (which is the least healthy thing by far anyways), but otherwise it is just the fiber content that's doing it.

A single burrito is close to double the average American's daily intake of fiber (but still a bit less than the recommended amount for an adult male)

lol ok these are just jokes fambly i don't even eat chipotle

mostly i eat lean protein fresh veggies and all the beer

I also don't eat fast food, because even "good" fast food is disgusting and I'm not in college anymore. I cook my own food.

And my daily fiber intake is like 45-50g (a giant thing of oats w/ chia seeds will help get there). Granted, I bet the average American is sub 15g.

ALSO. The bloody diarrhea jokes about Chipotle are because of their repeated e coli outbreaks, not because of this fiber nonsense.

 

[brokencycle]

I also don't eat fast food, because even "good" fast food is disgusting and I'm not in college anymore. I cook my own food.

And my daily fiber intake is like 45-50g (a giant thing of oats w/ chia seeds will help get there). Granted, I bet the average American is sub 15g.

ALSO. The bloody diarrhea jokes about Chipotle are because of their repeated e coli outbreaks, not because of this fiber nonsense.

McDonald's, a large shareholder early on in Chipotle, warned them repeatedly about the unsafe food practices (like chopping up meat and vegetables at the same station).

 

[Numbernine]

As a kid we commonly ate calf brains, calf tongue, hogs head cheese, squirrels, rabbits, raw oysters, crawfish, frogs, wild mushrooms, shrimp, crab, debris https://www.realcajunrecipes.com/recipe/debris-cooking-cajun-variety-meats-aka-cowboy-stew/ etc, not because we had to but because it was damned good.

 

[mhip]

As a kid we commonly ate calf brains, calf tongue, hogs head cheese, squirrels, rabbits, raw oysters, crawfish, frogs, wild mushrooms, shrimp, crab, debris https://www.realcajunrecipes.com/recipe/debris-cooking-cajun-variety-meats-aka-cowboy-stew/ etc, not because we had to but because it was damned good.

I went a different route.
I would sit at the table and pout, until my mom gave up and made me Mac and Cheese.

 

[VaderDave]

I also don't eat fast food, because even "good" fast food is disgusting and I'm not in college anymore. I cook my own food.

And my daily fiber intake is like 45-50g (a giant thing of oats w/ chia seeds will help get there). Granted, I bet the average American is sub 15g.

ALSO. The bloody diarrhea jokes about Chipotle are because of their repeated e coli outbreaks, not because of this fiber nonsense.

This week a friend of mine posted a story about how McDonalds was offering Grown-up Happy Meals (with either a Big Mac or like 10 McNuggets) as a limited-time promotion. She was horrified about it, so I took it upon myself to go to McDonalds for the first time in many years and order one so I could take a picture and horrify her even more.

Everything was great until I actually ate the Big Mac, which I loved as a little kid. Instant Regret(tm) time.

 

[otc]

Chipotle hasn't had a big outbreak in years!

The e. coli stuff was back in 2015...and they had a big single-store outbreak of something else in 2018 (unknown origin, but only one location)
McDonalds had a 500 person outbreak of something the same year...

The right answer is that everyone should just go to Panda instead though.

 

[mhip]

Chipotle hasn't had a big outbreak in years!

The e. coli stuff was back in 2015...and they had a big single-store outbreak of something else in 2018 (unknown origin, but only one location)
McDonalds had a 500 person outbreak of something the same year...

The right answer is that everyone should just go to Panda instead though.

Jack in the Box killed some people back in the day, and I cut them off.
Eventually, the healing began and we reconciled...

 

[double00]

i knew a guy who robbed a jack in the box and got busted when he went back to eat there later that day

 

[Michigan Planner]

Growing up, a neighbor kid's dad was some big shot architect for Yum Brands (Taco Bell, KFC, Long John Silver, Pizza Hut, etc.). They lived in a typical turn-of-the-century Midwestern farmhouse until the dad decided to build a gigantic monstrosity that was some sort of cross between shed and Brutalist architecture in the middle of a rural cornfield. Seemed like a really odd choice for the area but they did have a kick a55 pool in the backyard, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

As a kid we commonly ate calf brains, calf tongue, hogs head cheese, squirrels, rabbits, raw oysters, crawfish, frogs, wild mushrooms, shrimp, crab, debris https://www.realcajunrecipes.com/recipe/debris-cooking-cajun-variety-meats-aka-cowboy-stew/ etc, not because we had to but because it was damned good.

I went a different route.
I would sit at the table and pout, until my mom gave up and made me Mac and Cheese.

If we didn't want whatever my parents were serving, we were allowed to get up and get ourselves a bowl of cereal, but mom wasn't going to do it for us.

I was a picky eater as a kid so I ate a lot of Count Chocula for dinner.

 

[Texasmade]

Jack in the Box killed some people back in the day, and I cut them off.
Eventually, the healing began and we reconciled...

When I was in college, Lubbock didn't have any Jack in the Box franchises. There were clearly some fast food places that used to be Jack in the Boxes but were converted. Everyone said it was because of the Jack in the Box food killing people.

 

[beargonefishing]

TIL that there are Chipotle truthers.

 

[Numbernine]

I went a different route.
I would sit at the table and pout, until my mom gave up and made me Mac and Cheese.

Do that in my house and you would get yourself a cool water sandwich and a Sunday go to meetin' bun.

 

[jcman311]

And we were consistently drunk.

Were?

When I was in college I ate 9 pieces of Popeyes chicken in one sitting and then drove 7 hours to Houston the next day. That was not a smart decision.

Yeah, Houston is never a smart decision.