clubbyjones
Senior Member
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2008
- Messages
- 378
- Reaction score
- 1
Turn 30 in about 6 months.
Next week, I'll have been in a relationship for four years. We have lived together for nearly the whole time because we lived next door to eachothers' apartments when we met.
Been putting in 100+ hour weeks at a startup for two years. She's been around through all of it. I make ~750k, she makes ~150k as a pharmacist. She stayed with me when I had nothing. Now she's bad with money, in debt, and I've funded our lifestyle for about a year.
She comes from a traditional ukranian family; believes in horoscopes, conspiracy theories, etc. Doesn't listen to "western" music, only reads RT for news. I'm a physicist, and an atheist. Can't stand most of the crap she watches.
She wants kids by age 31. She is 28. She wants 3 kids. I never wanted to have children, she is set on it. I think it's a cultural pressure on her from her family without any idea or care about what it entails. Everyone has photos of weddings and kids on social media and she is concerned, maybe validly, about 'wasting' her good years.
I bought a ring several years ago, she knows I have had it for several years as well. She has always been expecting it.
She's the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She has a mad ukranian temper.
She genuinely loves me as much as she possibly could, and it's more than I deserve.
We have nothing in common except familiarity and the fact that our careers overlap a good bit.
Been so busy working that I couldn't ever imagine having to go meet someone again. Have had far too much workload to even think about it. If I marry her, I'm basically destined for kids in 3 years. Trying to wrap my head around that; I haven't even had time to enjoy my life so far. If I leave her, from what I've seen recently, it's rare finding someone who actually puts up with your **** all the time. And then there are a whole bunch of ups and downs with dating. It doesnt' seem practical in my current career state. Plus, I'm not a poor grad student anymore and my social intelligence has gone marsupialed since I opened my place. If I were to have kids, I couldn't imagine not wanting to spend all hours of the day with them, ensuring they were healthy, mentally and physically.
___
SFers who got married, would you kick it back a few years if you could? Ever thought, maybe, you couldn't do much better and then regretted it? Am I wrong to want to marry in my upper 30s when, you know, I feel like I'm more mature and ready to take on that commitment? Is it normal to be thinking bad like this? And, did a guilt of watching your SO in pain make you lean toward a direction?
Next week, I'll have been in a relationship for four years. We have lived together for nearly the whole time because we lived next door to eachothers' apartments when we met.
Been putting in 100+ hour weeks at a startup for two years. She's been around through all of it. I make ~750k, she makes ~150k as a pharmacist. She stayed with me when I had nothing. Now she's bad with money, in debt, and I've funded our lifestyle for about a year.
She comes from a traditional ukranian family; believes in horoscopes, conspiracy theories, etc. Doesn't listen to "western" music, only reads RT for news. I'm a physicist, and an atheist. Can't stand most of the crap she watches.
She wants kids by age 31. She is 28. She wants 3 kids. I never wanted to have children, she is set on it. I think it's a cultural pressure on her from her family without any idea or care about what it entails. Everyone has photos of weddings and kids on social media and she is concerned, maybe validly, about 'wasting' her good years.
I bought a ring several years ago, she knows I have had it for several years as well. She has always been expecting it.
She's the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She has a mad ukranian temper.
She genuinely loves me as much as she possibly could, and it's more than I deserve.
We have nothing in common except familiarity and the fact that our careers overlap a good bit.
Been so busy working that I couldn't ever imagine having to go meet someone again. Have had far too much workload to even think about it. If I marry her, I'm basically destined for kids in 3 years. Trying to wrap my head around that; I haven't even had time to enjoy my life so far. If I leave her, from what I've seen recently, it's rare finding someone who actually puts up with your **** all the time. And then there are a whole bunch of ups and downs with dating. It doesnt' seem practical in my current career state. Plus, I'm not a poor grad student anymore and my social intelligence has gone marsupialed since I opened my place. If I were to have kids, I couldn't imagine not wanting to spend all hours of the day with them, ensuring they were healthy, mentally and physically.
___
SFers who got married, would you kick it back a few years if you could? Ever thought, maybe, you couldn't do much better and then regretted it? Am I wrong to want to marry in my upper 30s when, you know, I feel like I'm more mature and ready to take on that commitment? Is it normal to be thinking bad like this? And, did a guilt of watching your SO in pain make you lean toward a direction?
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