Reading body language: your awareness.

[Britalian]

I've been interested in this for sometime and I like to observe people as they communicate. Personally, I use others' non-verbal signals as a contribution to what they are saying and adjust my interpretation of what they are saying in real time.

Basically, I'm curious to know if you understand the various signals which colleagues, friends, lovers etc give off, and how much it influences you (positively or negatively) if it isn't congruent with what they are saying.

Also can you/have you trained yourself to hide your signals which may contradict what you are saying?

 

[globetrotter]

I'm in sales, understanding body language is what puts food on my table.

 

[EL72]

I read somewhere that 2/3 of face-to-face communication is non-verbal.

 

[designprofessor]

recently-

colleague: "I've been doing alot better at controlling my emotions, I hardly ever get that upset about stuff anymore."

me: "Bullshit."

colleague: "What makes you say that?!"

me: " because I sit here and watch you turn purple!"

 

[Milhouse]

Take a social psychology class or read the textbook.

 

[JLibourel]

I've never been very good at "reading" body language or interpreting non-verbal communication. I think this is pretty common among very bookish, high-IQ people. It is supposed to be a characteristic of "Asperger's Syndrome," many of the symptoms of which have been stereotypes of highly intelligent people for millennia, e.g., the story the Greek philosopher Thales was so busy observing the heavens he fell down a well.

Since dogs communicate non-verbally by posturing and body language, they are often much better at "reading" people than other humans are. This was very forcefully brought home to me one night. My wife was going on and on, yapping and yapping about some damn thing, as women are wont to do. Her grievance was inconsequential I have quite forgotten what it was. I was in the good ol' "Yes, dear" mode and controlling my voice. I was getting madder by the minute. My wife never realized how angry she was making me, but my big, ferocious Japanese Fighting Dog, Dempsey, sure was reading my body language--so much so that he ran into his crate to get away from me until I lured him out with reassuring language that he was not the object of my wrath. I sure miss that dog! I think this ability is what leads some credulous people to believe that dogs have some uncanny psychic ability to read people's minds and divine their intentions for good or ill.

 

[Thomas]

I spend so much time and thought on my own words and posture that sometimes I don't pay as much attention as I should about how others come across. However - pauses, evasions, and non-answers jump out at me immediately, and I can pretty well guess at the truth without hearing the actual words.

 

[Britalian]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

I'm in sales, understanding body language is what puts food on my table.

So do you find yourself reading peoples' signals even in non-sales situations, with your family - where it might not be necessary, for example?

 

[eg1]

Originally Posted by JLibourel

I've never been very good at "reading" body language or interpreting non-verbal communication. I think this is pretty common among very bookish, high-IQ people. It is supposed to be a characteristic of "Asperger's Syndrome," many of the symptoms of which have been stereotypes of highly intelligent people for millennia, e.g., the story the Greek philosopher Thales was so busy observing the heavens he fell down a well.

Since dogs communicate non-verbally by posturing and body language, they are often much better at "reading" people than other humans are. This was very forcefully brought home to me one night. My wife was going on and on, yapping and yapping about some damn thing, as women are wont to do. Her grievance was inconsequential I have quite forgotten what it was. I was in the good ol' "Yes, dear" mode and controlling my voice. I was getting madder by the minute. My wife never realized how angry she was making me, but my big, ferocious Japanese Fighting Dog, Dempsey, sure was reading my body language--so much so that he ran into his crate to get away from me until I lured him out with reassuring language that he was not the object of my wrath. I sure miss that dog! I think this ability is what leads some credulous people to believe that dogs have some uncanny psychic ability to read people's minds and divine their intentions for good or ill.

The dog hears better, and for damn sure can smell better than people do, so its perception of your emotional state is probably attuned along those levels more so than the visual.

 

[dkzzzz]

Good salesman, no, really good salesman, can completely win you over just by using a few subliminal tricks like mirroring or resonating.
I think an accomplished sales person is as close to pure evil as human can come.

 

[Britalian]

Originally Posted by dkzzzz

Good salesman, no, really good salesman, can completely win you over just by using a few subliminal tricks like mirroring or resonating.
I think an accomplished sales person is as close to pure evil as human can come.

I suppose it could be said that they are just using their talents and skills to their advantage. Very effectively.

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by Britalian

So do you find yourself reading peoples' signals even in non-sales situations, with your family - where it might not be necessary, for example?

oh yeah, hard to turn off. also, I spend maybe 1/3 of the year in places that I don't speak the language, so non-verbal communications are really important to me.

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by dkzzzz

Good salesman, no, really good salesman, can completely win you over just by using a few subliminal tricks like mirroring or resonating.
I think an accomplished sales person is as close to pure evil as human can come.

back in my younger days, I used to define myself as a technician whose tools were people.

 

[Gradstudent78]

Originally Posted by dkzzzz

I think an accomplished sales person is as close to pure evil as human can come.

Because they rely on the dark side?

 

[Brian278]

I've often thought the reason that I majored in Psychology was because in high school I couldn't read people very well. I dated a few girls who were much, much better at it than me (women almost always are) and it sort of facinated me. Suffice it to say, my skills have improved.