How soon is too soon to say I love you

[lithium180]

Originally Posted by JohnBirdie

I guess you just know. The sign you're in love is if you can't go one day without thinking of her..

without thinking of her what?

 

[unjung]

I had a girlfriend once.

 

[kalice]

The phrase has been so ingrained in our culture. I used to vow not to say it, and made a point of telling whoever I was dating that "love" is something I know definitively. Obviously, it made for some trouble in the relationship.

Then when I actually did slip out the words "I love you", it was quickly followed by a "I thought you didn't believe in love" from the reciever. One thing led to another, and that relationship quickly ended.

Now, if it doesn't play mind games with the other person, and it doesn't pain me/vex me to say it, and it's beneficial to the relationship, then I don't see the harm in saying it.

 

[Berticus]

Originally Posted by lithium180

The problem is that we need something more romantic than "I am infatuated with you" and less fraught with peril than "I love you". I have always suspected that there are other languages besides English that have a better range of words for describing romantic feelings. Arguably, there are a lot of different types and intensities of feeling that we bracket under the term "love".
Last gf and I tried to do that. She kept saying it by accident, and it would freak her out. We couldn't think of one... But later she really meant it.

 

[AstroWolf]

say it, the very worst, she does not say it back and you **** her that night, looking in her eyes knowing she does not love you. It feels great.

 

[Neo_Version 7]

I simply replace the word with <3.
So it would go:
"I really heart hanging out with you."

 

[GQgeek]

Originally Posted by lithium180

The problem is that we need something more romantic than "I am infatuated with you" and less fraught with peril than "I love you".

Deflection always works. If she pushes, you can tell her that you lurv her, which is better than love.