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How soon is too soon to say I love you

jgold47

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Like the thread says. Girl I am dating, its been about a month, told me she was falling in love with me. After a round of pretty hot sex, she said she loved me. Since I am not dumb enough to screw that up, I told her I loved her too.

Is that too soon. I am not sure I really feel it just yet. I really like this girl, and I think we have some real potential.
 

Piobaire

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"Love" is simply a classic Pavlovian conditioning. If you guys have been having lots of good sex, and she's easy to condition i.e. it only took a month, it seems about the right time.
 

nootje

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depends on how much you value the words.... for some its a big thing to say, and I do think that you are the only one that can answer your question.
 

globetrotter

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Originally Posted by kwilkinson
If you don't really feel it, it's definitely too soon.

+1
 

longskate88

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My rule with my new GF (6 months so far) is that I won't be the one to say "I love you." Things are going just fine without using those words, so I'll let her be the one to say it first. If she doesn't, that's fine by me, we'll just continue doing what we do currently. That being said, I WOULD feel comfrotable saying it, since I think it might be true. Of course, I think there are 'levels' of love, it's not a lightswitch.

The last GF pulled the "I love you" right after sex, and I said it too, even though I later realized I didn't. It was more of a 'lust' than love, in the heat of the moment. Keep us posted!
 

jgold47

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I was in a 6 year relationship that ended oddly. That girl I was in love with. The last time I told a girl I loved her was a similar situation - we met, hit it if, things got passionate fast, and just cause I was so used to it, I told that girl I loved her. Then the next day I took it back. I cought a lot of shit for it, but I asked her to respect my honesty, that while I said it, and i dont not feel it, I just didnt feel it enought to start saying it like that.

I like this girl, we are just moving really fast. I think we are in the same boat. late 20's tired of being single. Its not settling, we really like each other, we are just moving quick!
 

MetroStyles

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I start saying it jokingly right off the bat, so there is zero awkwardness when I say it for real. Besides, saying "I love you" is for the most part meaningless. I love everyone - it's just a matter of how deeply I know them and if I'm screwing them.
 

kwilkinson

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Originally Posted by MetroStyles
I start saying it jokingly right off the bat, so there is zero awkwardness when I say it for real. Besides, saying "I love you" is for the most part meaningless. I love everyone - it's just a matter of how deeply I know them and if I'm screwing them.

You love me?!?!?!
 

Nouveau Pauvre

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Originally Posted by Piobaire
"Love" is simply a classic Pavlovian conditioning. If you guys have been having lots of good sex, and she's easy to condition i.e. it only took a month, it seems about the right time.
Originally Posted by MetroStyles
I start saying it jokingly right off the bat, so there is zero awkwardness when I say it for real. Besides, saying "I love you" is for the most part meaningless. I love everyone - it's just a matter of how deeply I know them and if I'm screwing them.
 

Berticus

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You can't take back an "I love you."
Originally Posted by Kwilkinson
If you don't really feel it, it's definitely too soon.
+1 Maybe try avoiding that phrase until you actually do feel it? I'm the type of person who's more into truth than doing what's right for the moment. If she were to say it again or bring it up, I would feel inclined to bring about a point of clarification.
 

m_wave

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I feel it's down to the individual situation, if it feels right then no problems. Idealy you will both feel the same way, but if you like her and may not love her yet, just give it some time and if it's meant to be it will be...

Knowing she loves you may very well increase your feelings for her...
 

Dakota rube

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Originally Posted by Berticus
You can't take back an "I love you."
Yeah.
How the hell do you "take back" that? You sound like an 8-year-old.
 

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