Drunken Culinary Masterpieces and Disasters- Share Your Recipes!

[cheessus]

I have made some of the most delicious meals while drunk as well as some of the most foul-tasting dishes ever. Frankly, I am surprised that I still have all 10 fingers.

Thus this thread is dedicated to all that crazy **** we've made when wasted.

I'll start (from recent memory):

Good- Omelet with black fungus mushrooms (leftovers from making eggrolls), red chili paste, corn, (I think with chopped up asparagus), and whole cloves of garlic. I then smashed a bag of Ramen noodles and sprinkled it on top. For the finishing touch, I added ketchup.

Bad- Peanut butter and tuna sandwich. 'Nuff said.

 

[m_wave]

I made some very very average blueberry pancakes when hung over/still drunk last Sunday.. truly terrible, though it may have been because I decided that using a crepe mixture would work with thick pancakes... blerk!

 

[nootje]

mostly barly edible pastas as I didnt have all the ingredients..

one unique low point:

making scrambled eggs with hot sauce but not realizing that if you have to use a knife to "help" the egg out of its shell they're rotten, still prepared them.... ring of fire FTW!!!

 

[Douglas]

In college I was the Kitchen Manager for our eating facility, so I had the keys to a full professional kitchen just a few dozen steps from our taproom. Two devices would always get use during my drunken forays into the kitchen: the meat slicer and the deep fryer. It is a miracle of nearly water-to-wine proportions that I never hurt myself, or others, in these endeavors. We'd usually make normal stuff - sandwiches, or deep fried treats like pierogis or jalapeno poppers, depending on what we could find in the back of the freezer that hopefully nobody would notice had gone missing. But just because we could, we'd often deep fry the freshly-cut meat, just to demonstrate our mastery of these two tools of the trade.

The worst I ever did though is pretty mundane - I once tried making a "tuna melt" of sorts from a can of tuna, mayonnaise, a dollop of relish, and a slice of cheddar. I put them all in a bowl and nuked them... not realizing the bowl was rimmed in metal. So I got a light show to go with the collossal stink that filled the apt. for a day or so.

 

[Milhouse]

I usually keep it simple and thus have avoided disaster. My staples are sandwiches. Sometimes, I make scrambled eggs. On one occasion, my friends and I decided the eggs would be good with onions. . . after we had finished cooking. So we just mixed a lot of raw red onion into the eggs. That was pretty rough. Sometimes, bright ideas happen. . .like pasta and sriracha (not actually that bright of an idea).

Fortunately, I don't keep frozen pizzas around. I know several people that have ended up with a kitchen full of smoke because they tried to cook a frozen pizza and forgot/fell asleep/or just didn't know how long to let it cook.

 

[nootje]

Originally Posted by Milhouse

I usually keep it simple and thus have avoided disaster. My staples are sandwiches. Sometimes, I make scrambled eggs. On one occasion, my friends and I decided the eggs would be good with onions. . . after we had finished cooking. So we just mixed a lot of raw red onion into the eggs. That was pretty rough. Sometimes, bright ideas happen. . .like pasta and sriracha (not actually that bright of an idea).

Fortunately, I don't keep frozen pizzas around. I know several people that have ended up with a kitchen full of smoke because they tried to cook a frozen pizza and forgot/fell asleep/or just didn't know how long to let it cook.

this reminded me... Blackened fries as I left the frying pan on whilst falling asleep.. Boiling some eggs and falling asleep, and I once found the paper wrapping of a midnight snack with some bite sized chunks missing, and felt strangely fulfilled in the morning

 

[feynmix]

matza pizza. Delicious.

 

[Piobaire]

I haven't done this since I was young an poor, but this was my favorite drunken stomach filler before crashing totally wasted:

2 packs ramen/simen noodles
8 oz ground beef
bread crumbs
3-5 gloves garlic
rooster sauce to taste
1-2 eggs
shoyu to taste

Mix everything but the noodles in a bowl. Be generous with the bread crumbs.

Place contents in bowl in hot fry pan, in one big, thin patty. The goal is to get a crust. Do both sides.

Meanwhile, boil your noodles and drain. Don't use flavoring package.

Mix noodles with thin, patty, now crusted on both sides.

As you can see, all ingredients are very cheap, total prep and cook time is about 10 minutes. Perfect poor drunken gut filler.

 

[fcuknu]

potato chips with cheese and gravy... sometimes you have to make do with what youve got.

 

[KJT]

Originally Posted by Milhouse

Fortunately, I don't keep frozen pizzas around. I know several people that have ended up with a kitchen full of smoke because they tried to cook a frozen pizza and forgot/fell asleep/or just didn't know how long to let it cook.

Originally Posted by nootje

this reminded me... Blackened fries as I left the frying pan on whilst falling asleep.. Boiling some eggs and falling asleep, and I once found the paper wrapping of a midnight snack with some bite sized chunks missing, and felt strangely fulfilled in the morning

This happened with buffalo wings for me, but what made it worse was that I was at home on break from college and my mom called the fire department. I was in the basement passed out while they cooked upstairs.

Oops.

The best stuff I make when tanked usually involves melted cheese and some kind of meat and occasionally an egg.

 

[Mazda]

Drinking helped me invent my Tortilla theory. This postulates that all food is better when encased in a tortilla.

Tested thus far:

We did frito pie and were convinced we invented something awesome till we sobered up and realized sonic and at least 2 other places had already done it.

at least half a dozen variations on eggs and various breakfast meats (nothing new till you start doing fried eggs which are awesome)

chili dogs

leftover pot roast

White Chicken Chili

PB&J

Macaroni and Cheese


All fantastic.

 

[NakedYoga]

My roommate will come home hammered and make schnitzel at 4am. I ate it with him once after we had been out together, and I was surprised at the result. The best part is when he makes a horrid mess of the kitchen and leaves a sticky note that says, "Clean me!" on the stove. As for me, it's always something involving hot sauce and cheese.

 

[nootje]

Originally Posted by NakedYoga

My roommate will come home hammered and make schnitzel at 4am. I ate it with him once after we had been out together, and I was surprised at the result. The best part is when he makes a horrid mess of the kitchen and leaves a sticky note that says, "Clean me!" on the stove. As for me, it's always something involving hot sauce and cheese.

owh hot sauce.... You allways taste so good at night, but why must you be such a terrible mistress the day after??

 

[Piobaire]

Originally Posted by Mazda

Drinking helped me invent my Tortilla theory. This postulates that all food is better when encased in a tortilla.


This seems like a pretty well thought out hypothesis to me. I'll admit to running my own experiments, from time to time, on it.

 

[Mazda]

Originally Posted by Piobaire

This seems like a pretty well thought out hypothesis to me. I'll admit to running my own experiments, from time to time, on it.

This of course assumes use of a quality tortilla. If you live east of the mississippi, tread lightly as I am not responsible for the abortions of flour that are most store bought tortillas. New Englanders should not try this at all since all "hispanic" food packaged and sold to you are variations on cardboard and materials rejected by the kotex factory.