Crossroads - The NYC Quarter-life Crisis Edition

[Gravity]

Hi All,

Long time lurker throughout all of the forums (mainly Streetwear and Denim). I've recently come to a crossroads in my life. I'm a semi-recent college grad in my mid twenties. I've finally gotten a job that I always wanted to get, but now I realize that it's not exactly what I want to do for the rest of my career. I currently work in New York for a well-known Fortune 50 company in their corporate development/internal M&A team.

My original thought process is to get an MBA and do something outside of the realm of finance, but still within business. Location-wise it would ideally be outside of NYC. My other thought is that if I can't get into a top MBA program, I would move to the west coast and start anew (possibly in California, but open to other city suggestions). New York will always be home to me due to having family ties here, but I grew up in the suburbs of CT and never really envisioned that I'd be living in NYC or in the heart of a major metropolitan center past my 30s/forever; my suburban-self wants a house with a white picket fence and a dog. In light of my early quarter life crisis, I've come to understand that while my time in New York has been great, I've realized my time in New York is coming to a close and that New York just isn't for me, and vice versa.

In the next 2 years I hope to make some kind of shift from where I am now. The cost isn't really an issue, but the cost of living here for "less" is on my mind. I'm tired of the dirt, the dating scene, the people, and the rat race. Would any of you Styleforumers be able to shed some light on this? I'm sure some of you have gone through this, and many of you in the New York City area would be able to impart some wisdom on this. In the past year I've been to Austin, Seattle, and Boston, and things just seem to be dialed back a bit and people seem happier. However, I've only gone to those places while on vacation, so my perspective may be greatly skewed.

On a side note, I'm actually off the next few days (got the luck of the draw with vacation time for this year...), any suggestions on things I should do in New York to maybe rekindle my love for the city for the next year or so? There aren't many many opportunities to have New York City to yourself (so to speak) on a weekday, so I figured I should make the most of it while I can.

Thanks.

 

[Risk_Reward]

I'm confused. Do you want out of finance or out of new York? You start out by saying you want out of finance but then talk nothing about what fields may interest you. You do talk about what you want for a place to live.

Also California sounds nothing like what you want, neither does Boston. Austin or Seattle, maybe.

What is it you really want?

 

[Gravity]

Haha. I clearly don't know. I'm a bit lost with everything and I know at the end of the day I would have to figure things out for myself, but I was wondering if anyone else has gone through a similar situation with being fine, but not excited about a job, and with also having a continuous love hate relationship with their city.

 

[Lord-Barrington]

You`re in your mid twenties, which means you have no idea what you want, even if you think you do. So don't worry.

Coming up on 30, I think I can say with some authority that for me the key in your mid to late thirties is:

1) Put down the base for a working life. If this means getting an MBA or churning out a few more years at your current job to get a god base in something (in your case, understanding company financials, how operations work, how to put together a pitch and put it in PPT) then so be it. But 25-30 is not the time to go on a sabbatical and learn Italian in Florence -- that's 20-25. I understand you don't like your job, and it`s OK to switch. But don't stop working.

2) Define as clearly as possible what you want your life to look like after 30. By the time you hit 30 you may very well be married and have a kid (or two or three!) and by then it is a lot more difficult to figure out where you want to live, what you want to do, etc because you have adult responsibilities.

I spent a lot of time between 25-30 mulling over what I did and didnt want from life in my 30s and 40s. And Although I am not 100% sure what I want, I do know a lot better what I don't want: I don't want to live in the suburbs, I don't want to live far away from my family and siblings, I don't want to be defined by my career, I don't want to lose the time I currently have to commit to my hobbies and passions.

So that has left me with a much better idea of what my life will look like in my 30s (and this has been discussed ad nauseum with my wife, so there is a necessary alignment) so I can start looking at what I want to do within those parameters.

In your case, I don't think it is a bad idea to switch jobs, switch cities, do an MBA, etc. I would advise you to keep working though (unless you stop to do your MBA) and think about what you see your idea situation being in the next two decades of your life. Do you want to get married? Have kids? Spend the weekends with your family?

Big decisions come fast towards the end of your 20s/ early 30s so you should prepare yourself now.

 

[jbarwick]

Any way you can internally transfer to a different city? Consulting would also be an option to get you out and seeing other cities.

 

[TheBlackBruceWayne]

I feel like I've been through there of these haha. Got a concussion in the police academy in November and it's been a sh**ty experience since. Getting better and have realized I want to pursue a career in menswear (if you had a nickel right? ) I had a previous offer for an apprenticeship but don't know if it still stands. Kind of stuck in Virginia until my case is shifted out but really want to move back to NYC. only fear is the cost of living. My last attempt landed me living out of a suitcase on a friend's couch which was horrible. How does one sustain themselves and do what they love? I dont want to keep taking mediocre jobs for sake of "security" and wake up 20 years later wondering where life went.
I don't plan on ever having kids, so all in really planning for is myself in terms of a future. I'm done rambling. This counts as my therapeutic journal session. 2 birds.