Books on etiquette

[TimelessRider]

Can anyone recommend any books on social and business etiquette and manners? Are there classic publications on these topics like the works of Flusser regarding style and clothing?

 

[Huntsman]

No, I'm afraid I can't recommend any books. However, there are (rather, there is) a classic in the world of etiquette -- Post's Etiquette , written by Emily Post, ca. 1922 if I'm not mistaken. You can actually read it online, at one of my favorite websites, bartleby.com: http://www.bartleby.com/95/ Unfortunately, though the respect that underlies etiquette is timeless, the rituals are not, so the book would be of little practicable value to you. If you had the time to read it though, knowledge of the rituals helps in the fundamentals. Wish I could be of more help. Regards, Huntsman

 

[TimelessRider]

Thanks for the link, Huntsman. The site looks like a good place to start.

 

[jcusey]

Miss Manners' various books have always been favorites of mine. They're very entertaining, and they read less as an arbitrary presentation of rules than as an explanation of why etiquette norms are etiquette norms.

 

[artdeco73]

There is a series of books by John Bridges called "Gentlemanners" Each one is on a specific topic rather etiquette in general. I am aware of four -- on clothing, on correspondence, on making toasts and on hosting parties. I should put a disclaimer here that I have not read any of them, but they have caught my eye in the past. Perhaps I'll review them here when time finally allows me to read them. One thing I do know that Bridges is from the Southeastern US (usually referred to colloquially here as "the South&quot, so his information may have a regional inflection to it.

There is also a book called "Essential Manners for Men" by Peter Post. I know nothing about him. I have no idea if he is related to Emily Post in any way, but it would be interesting if he was.

Regards,
Tony

 

[jasonpraxis]

In the "new wave" are The Etiquette Grrls, who update traditional social conventions for a younger readership. I've read both their books, and parts of their website, which are good for both information and humor.

 

[j]

BTW, Emily Post's Etiquette has been published in an updated edition written by her descendants. It is still considered the bible of etiquette. The new edition is updated enough to include email etiquette.

 

[Huntsman]

In the "new wave" are The Etiquette Grrls, who update traditional social conventions for a younger readership. I've read both their books, and parts of their website, which are good for both information and humor.

Wow. I have looked at the site and read some of the 'Q&A' and all I can say is wow. What is this? It's like an affected, arrogant Elle Woods (from Legally Blonde ) doing etiquette. The level of hypocrisy mocks the decency etiquette is founded upon. They blithely command those whom they do not like to "See [them] us in Hell," in the pseudo-Victorian style of capitalizing major nouns and verbs. If this is new wave I'm staying old school, and I'll pick up a new copy of Post (thanks, j) to boot. Regards, Huntsman

 

[gorgekko]

Huntsman, I sort of agree with you but the way people are today, perhaps a little kick in the can by people like the EG might be what's needed. It's not the way I'd teach etiquette and manners but perhaps it's reaching someone out there who needs guidance.

It's getting ugly out there...anyone on my side is appreciated even if I have to tolerate a difference of opinion.

 

[christian]

Kate Spade has a book about manners that my mother bought. Â It is actually quite good and far more applicable (I feel) to modern day situations than some of the Flusser/Miss Manners genre.

This book is targeted towards women to read. She has a series of books like this, including books about style.

 

[Mike C.]

Why would anyone need an ettiquette book, really I'm baffeled?

 

[j]

Why would anyone need a "style forum"?

 

[TimelessRider]

Thank you all for your suggestions. The 17th Edition of Emily Post's Etiquette will be released next month. In the mean time the online version makes interesting reading.

 

[Mike C.]

Quote:

(Mike C. @ 08 Oct. 2004, 12:03) Why would anyone need an ettiquette book, really I'm baffeled?
Personally, I agree with you. Â For the most part people either do or do not have good manners as a result of their upbringing, IMHO.
And it's not like people with no manners would be willing to pick up a book on the subject. For me, manners boil down to common sense. Anyone trying to be "proper" ends up looking too try-hard and contrived. It creates some awkward situations as well.

 

[j]

It's true that you can't teach thoughtfulness via a book, but there are points of decorum that those of us not raised in high society might not be familiar with. Which fork to use, etc. Whether or not you care whether people care about these things, it does make a good impression to know them, and it's not like it's more effort one way or the other.