Big life/career decisions, nervousness, little voice saying no...how to decide

[LA Guy]

Originally Posted by odoreater

Some people like to suffer now, make a lot of money, so they can have more enjoyment later.

I've rarely seen this work out well. The only cases where I've seen it work out are actually in fashion. I know at least three guys who did banking for about 5-6 years, with the goal, from day one, to quit as soon as they had enough saved up to start a store or a label and not be burdened by debts and not-so-silent partners. All three of these guys are pretty unusual, and remarkably disciplined with money to boot. It's remarkable to see someone not live to (nearly) the level their income would allow.

 

[pickpackpockpuck]

I once took a leave of absence from college and moved abroad for a while. I was freaking out just before I was scheduled to leave and wondering if I had made a huge mistake. It wasn't easy at first, but it ended up being one of the best experiences of my life, if for no other reason than proving to myself that I could get through the challenge. I think you'll eventually find it was a good decision, and you'll regret it if you don't go. 'Nothing ventured, nothing gained' is a saying for a reason. Do it now while you're young, don't have any debts or kids or anything preventing you from taking a risk. I say go for it.

 

[nate10184]

Sounds exactly like me a year ago. Do it for sure.

 

[SirGrotius]

Go young man, go.

If you hate it, return home.

If you look at the ladies, you'll stay.

 

[Fraiche]

Just do it. [/nike]

No seriously. Your gut is telling you the right thing. It's your survival instinct kicking in.

To share my personal experience, couple of years ago, I had a dream job to many. I was working from home every day, salaried, full benefits making $70K+, wake up whenever the hell I wanted. Busy season was like 20 hour weeks for maybe like 1 month out of the year.

I would show up to the office every couple of weeks just cause I felt guilty and then leave at lunch to go home. I had weeks of literally no work. Had some days I just decided to not even check my email and just do whatever.

It was good times while it lasted but I felt the exact same feeling as you. I had to make a change or I would be rendered obsolete. Someone was gonna figure it out sooner or later and the later it is, the more my muscles would have atrophied.

Now I am working for a Big 4, I get ****** handed back to me daily but one thing is certain, I won't be out of a job any time soon. My phone is ringing off the hook from recruiters since the first week.

 

[bringusingoodale]

Originally Posted by Fraiche

Just do it. [/nike]

No seriously. Your gut is telling you the right thing. It's your survival instinct kicking in.

To share my personal experience, couple of years ago, I had a dream job to many. I was working from home every day, salaried, full benefits making $70K+, wake up whenever the hell I wanted. Busy season was like 20 hour weeks for maybe like 1 month out of the year.

I would show up to the office every couple of weeks just cause I felt guilty and then leave at lunch to go home. I had weeks of literally no work. Had some days I just decided to not even check my email and just do whatever.

It was good times while it lasted but I felt the exact same feeling as you. I had to make a change or I would be rendered obsolete. Someone was gonna figure it out sooner or later and the later it is, the more my muscles would have atrophied.

Now I am working for a Big 4, I get ****** handed back to me daily but one thing is certain, I won't be out of a job any time soon. My phone is ringing off the hook from recruiters since the first week.


Wth? What job was it you had? That sounds to good to be true.

 

[Optimistic]

Originally Posted by LA Guy

I've rarely seen this work out well. The only cases where I've seen it work out are actually in fashion. I know at least three guys who did banking for about 5-6 years, with the goal, from day one, to quit as soon as they had enough saved up to start a store or a label and not be burdened by debts and not-so-silent partners. All three of these guys are pretty unusual, and remarkably disciplined with money to boot. It's remarkable to see someone not live to (nearly) the level their income would allow.

Hahaha that's my plan

 

[Joffrey]

Originally Posted by miran

I have an opportunity to change careers. It will involve me resigning from my job and moving to New York City. Right now, I have it pretty cushy, in that I live where I grew up, where my family is, etc. I don't make much, and my job is a dead-end gig, but life's OK. With the summer, there are occasions to have a good life with sailing, good food, taking the motorbike out, relaxing, etc etc. With my current living arrangements, I'm alright for money. It's about money at this stage of my life, money trumps job satisfaction. Money, and quality of life, with one leading to the other.

I've been living this life for the past 2 years, and then in April--I decided I coudln't go on like this, and I decided to make a career change. It proved easier than you'd imagine, than even I'd imagined, everything just fell into place like lego, everything is now set. I am scheduled to move to NYC next week to start a new field, in a new city, new everything.

But I'm having trouble sleeping. Something in me is not altogether happy with this. I'm 30..everyone else (at least through social media) would be jumping up in cloud 9 when something totally new like this is happening to them. Not me. I'm nervous, my head is not working, I'm not thrilled....I'm nervous and scared.

Is this just butterflies before my big change? Or does my subconscious, or whatever, know that this change is wrong--and therefore, holding me back? I am always chickening out before doing anything--everything from a vacation to a big project---but this is a life-changing decision, and there will be no turning back. Failure is not an option, in other words.

How do I figure if it's just nerves, or if this is wrong?

Some of the advice here from posters is quite insightful, so I thought I'd put my situation out here.

Relax, it's just nerves. You're making a very big change. You were satisfied with your ho-hum life (that sounded tranquil but not particularly exciting) and want to spice things up. So you did, and what you're feeling is anticipation of change. You don't really know what to expect and you are rightly nervous. It's perfectly normal. And expect a period of adjustment - 3 to 6 months maybe. Good luck and make the most of the experience. You are young enough to make these life changes. If you dislike it, you could always move back home with a wiser, more seasoned outlook.

 

[Sazerac]

This is what opportunities feel like.

Go. And give the city at least two years.

(BTW, at 37, my biggest regrets are the risky shots I didn't take. My biggest triumphs are the result of the risky shots I did take. YMMV, but probably not.)

 

[Mandrake9072]

Originally Posted by Fraiche

To share my personal experience, couple of years ago, I had a dream job to many. I was working from home every day, salaried, full benefits making $70K+, wake up whenever the hell I wanted. Busy season was like 20 hour weeks for maybe like 1 month out of the year.

I would show up to the office every couple of weeks just cause I felt guilty and then leave at lunch to go home. I had weeks of literally no work. Had some days I just decided to not even check my email and just do whatever.

Doing what?

 

[Kiwi Man]

Originally Posted by Mandrake9072

Doing what?

I'm curious as well.

 

[Satorialist]

Originally Posted by Kiwi Man

I'm curious as well.
Yes, do tell. And, are they hiring?

(but no, seriously, are they hiring?) As for the original post, from my life experience; my "gut feeling" has never, not even once, been wrong. Perhaps I have a sixth sense or am better attuned to this level of consciousness than others but truly, without equivocation, my "gut" has never steered me wrong. Never. Of each occasion that I consciously ignored my gut-feeling; it became a teachable moment, always confirming I had made the wrong decision (and vice versa). That said, do not confuse your "gut feeling" with apprehension or fear of the unknown. Your apprehension is partly coming from (1) the major life change you're undertaking (understandable), (2) the quarter-life crisis you are seemingly in (questioning current existence, searching out for greater meaning and fulfillment, etc.), and (3) the surprising relative ease and swiftness with which all this change is coming at you (unexpected). All of this is normal. In my mind, based on what you have said, your desire to break free of your current existence via the new job in New York is your "gut feeling"--and you should follow it.