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Whew!

ChicagoJohn

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Hai guise! Vanity here! How is your weekend? How are things? Great weekend so far. Saturday morning I wasn't feeling well so I went shopping and picked up a gorgeous Juicy herringbone blazer at Loehmann's for $60. Down from $250. Even better was the tag said $105 but there was another $40 savings to be had. WOoOoOoO!! The rest of the day I spent watching movies and Heroes on Netflix Roku which is the coolest thing ever if you aren't familiar with it. I felt a cold coming on the past few days and having a "date" at 2am with some broad I met while rolling my nuts off 2 weeks ago, I had to fight this bastard. It was coming on with a vengeance but being pretty much a pinnacle of masculinity and health, I knew I could break it if I put my mind to it. I really don't remember what this girl looked like, as I was also with another girl friend at the time we met and didn't pay much attention - - other than her persistent staring. But I do recall her particularly slutty top worn bra-less, nips out, and her being absolutely fucked on drugs. That's a double win by me. That's a Vanity type of girl. So here's my day long party favors to prepare myself. Midnight rolls around, I've downed about 2 gallons of water throughout the day. I'm feeling ready to rock. This cold is beat!! Got dressed (cuffed ultra dark jeans, white shirt, skinny black tie, grey blazer). My buddy and I roll into the bar she works at, she hooks us up with drinks. There's army dudes everywhere. Thank God she's hot. And properly thick. I've been on a thick girl kick lately. Not fat, but with thick thighs, a good ass, and fat bewbs. There is nowhere for me to smoke. After years of dating models and strippers, I find I like a more natural, softer body type. Silly to say but it's true. Something soft to lay on. I spend 45 minutes without a cigarette and downed 2 beers. She gets off at 2am, we all head to the Penthouse at Vision for a b'day party. Pop a couple pills, do the meet and greet, and life turns into a blur. We're dancing, slamming drinks, she can't keep her hands off me, so I sit back and tell her to dance for me while I melt into a couch. My buddy's sister is a shot girl with an on again/off again boyfriend and she keeps coming up and talking to me. God she is so ******* hot. I really hope she ditches that dude for me. I don't like blondes but she's like 5'10" with a gorgeous face and killer body. She compliments my jacket and does the typical female "tie-pull" with a grin on her face. I explain to my date she's my buddy's sister. She is unfazed and pushes the front of her jeans down, exposing her pink panties for me with a michevious smile. Things start ******* up. My buddy's coat has been stolen. A serious blow for both of us, as an entire bottle of klonopins was in his pocket which I had been excitedly waiting to eat on Sunday. It was lost, stolen. Probably by some FOB wearing sunglasses and overly distressed sky-blue jeans. What a dickbag *************. My date leaves her purse on a couch as we wander around. I remember we need to get that back (Genius). Luckily it's still there and seeing a trend developing, I inform her we're too fucked to be out anymore. We're making mistakes. We need to leave and we should go back to her place. So we bolt to her studio apartment (she's 24). THrow on some music, make a couple adult beverages, and she deadpans me; "Do you...like....wanna hang around naked?" Well I certainly **********. The next 6 hours were spent rolling around naked like dogs, attempting to sleep but being woken by each other wanting to play or her cats knocking over everything in the apartment. So loud those crazy cats were. 1pm rolls around and I take off. The drive home I'm reeking of lip gloss, perfume, and delicious girl sweat. The sun is beating down on my Prada's and Pink - Sober comes on the radio. I crank the volume and sing every word while chainsmoking cigarettes. Rob txts me that we're going out for sushi tonite at 8pm. Cool joint, cheap sushi and they play house music. I probably won't eat, I'd rather have a conversation while pounding sake bombs and looking for somewhere to smoke. Maybe someone I know is there, some toots wouldn't be so bad either. Having Monday off, I readily agree. Currently I'm 3 drinks into the afternoon and have about 5 hours to take a disco nap. It's time to continue celebrating MLK JR day. What a great man he was. Vanity-Out.
 

why

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I don't understand your purpose.

Do you want a pat on the back?
 

ChicagoJohn

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Crank your speakers and jesus pose sing with me I'm safe Up high Nothing can touch me But why do I feel this party's over? No pain Inside You're my protection But how do I feel this good sober?
 

jkw

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Feb 18, 2008
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you realise there's a dedicated thread for this...
 

DNW

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This is pathetic.
 

mafoofan Jr.

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Dec 20, 2008
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I read this thread and I weep.
 

why

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I didn't realize I was so kind before.

Here, let me rephrase: get fucked.
 

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