Question For Those That Are Married

[Hey Man]

We all know that the flame usually dies out in a marriage, but can anyone admit that they are not really sexually attracted to their wife/husband anymore - despite the love you may still have with them.

Did they change? Are they no longer your type of woman/man? Did they let themselves go right after the wedding? What's your story?

 

[HomerJ]

Seems like most of my friends' wives let themselves go

 

[GQgeek]

when I get married I will leave the healthy threat of divorce in the air just so that she doesn't get fat!

Now sing along!

 

[76classic]

It seems to me that both people let themselves go, but women catch it the hardest because society tells them they have to look a certain way. Both partners tend to let up and get comfortable. My advice is be proactive and lead by example. You don't want your wife to let herself, then you have to be the same. That being said, I've just got married but I have been with my woman for nearly 9 years. You just have to keep working. Ironically, I dressed like a bum before I met my wife. I had to bring myself up to standard because going out into public was getting to be slightly embarrassing.

 

[CTGuy]

Originally Posted by GQgeek

when I get married I will leave the healthy threat of divorce in the air just so that she doesn't get fat!

Now sing along!

How toolish. I am sure your kids will love the explanation that you had to leave mommy cause she got pudgy.

 

[texas_jack]

Originally Posted by CTGuy

How toolish. I am sure your kids will love the explanation that you had to leave mommy cause she got pudgy.

GQgeek is a bitter divorced man who's never been married. Please ignore.

 

[76classic]

This might not be popular, but sometimes the flame dies because the man just stops being "the man". I've seen it. Yes, those lazy sex having, video game playing, ESPN watching, and beer belly drinking are the first ones to complain that their wives let themselves go. Maybe they should look at their wife a little closely, they may just see themselves.

 

[itsstillmatt]

GQ's take on women and marriage always makes me sad.

My wife takes care of herself, and I think she gets prettier every year, but she also becomes a better woman every year which is even nicer.

 

[imageWIS]

Originally Posted by texas_jack

GQgeek is a bitter divorced man who's never been married. Please ignore.

Awesome!

Jon.

 

[flylot74]

There is an old saying that familiarity breeds contempt. Now I'm not going to particularly espouse that concept, however there is a phenomena about living life together and the sheer repetition of daily activity has taken the "sparkle" out of certain relationships.

What most fail to realize is that when young and married, often control and financial issues start to arise, couple that with kids, and we now have a tense and possible hostile environment that can lead to an unhappy relationship.

Marriage takes a lot of work. It is each persons responsibility to communicate adequately and honest, trust me it's a tough row to hoe.

I've been married three times! Divorced the first one, my second spouse died and have been happily married now for twelve years (I'm old, OK?). At my age, I can see trouble in relationships before it happens, after a while you can tell if things simply won't work...... respect, integrity and commitment have a lot to do with it.

An old line come to mind..."I've been happily married for three years! Hey! Three out of twenty ain't bad!"

 

[alan]

Yeah id imagine even if your wife doesnt gain weight or lose her beauty or whatever, the sexual flame is bound to die out.

Even if youre dating the hottest girl around, youre bound to at some point not be as attracted or not be attracted at all to her.

 

[Edward Appleby]

Originally Posted by iammatt

GQ's take on women and marriage always makes me sad.

Well particularly given the fact that the whole 'Sean Connery-bang 'em and leave 'em-too much of a hardass for emotions" schtick sort of hinges on actually banging the women.

 

[Edward Appleby]

Regarding the OP's point, I think part of it is that some women simply age better. I mean stuff that you can control- weight, muscle tone, etc.- aside, some women have faces and skin and whatever that look better at a given age than others.

 

[gdl203]

Originally Posted by iammatt

My wife takes care of herself, and I think she gets prettier every year, but she also becomes a better woman every year which is even nicer.

Now if she could just stop reading all your SF posts...

 

[globetrotter]

when I got married, I was in the gym 6-9 hours a week. then, I had to chose between sitting on the couch with my wife, or being in a gym with a bunch of stinking rats. I chose the one that led to a quick hundred pound wieght gain.

I work hard, and travel for work. my wife deals with 3 kids, two of which are babies. we are tired a lot of the time, and I am guessing that neither of us our as hot as we used to be. so, frankly, there is a hell of a lot less sex than their used to be. if I told you how little, you would never get married.