70 lbs heavier than her on-line photo

So guys, time to help the old man with some dating protocol. I should've known better, but I succumbed to the lure of the on-line datings sites and posted a profile. A gal "winked" at me, we corresponded, talked on the phone several times and things were good.

Her profile and on-line photo are quite desirable. Last night we arranged to meet at a downtown bar for a late-night drink. I walked in and immediately saw her, but she is at least 70 pounds heavier than the picture she posted!

We chatted, made good eye contact (since looking at her body would've seemed like staring at a traffic accident) and went our separate ways at about midnight. She hugged me HARD (at which time I was happy to note that Little Johnny Cochran wasn't even rrustling in his chair let alone standing up to address the jury!) and asked if I'd phone her again. I told her I'd give her a call tonight.

Sitting there last night I couldn't help but notice she bears a quite uncanny resemblance to Robin Williams (presumably without the body hair, but that remains unknown, thankfully). Big wide face, rather squarish body, and a bit of an underbite.

Question: I have to phone her, but to what end? I'm not interested in seeing this gal again, but I don't want to come off all superficial and tell her the truth. What do I say?

Follow-up: Why the f*** would a woman post a picture that is obviously not what she looks like? Do they think no one will notice?

Normally, I'd say that since you told her you'd call her, you should.

However, she was untruthful in providing a photo that did not accurately represent her. Now, call me shallow, but looks and attraction are a huge deal. Also, you said "her profile and on-line photo are quite desirable". Did you mean to imply that her profile of interests/personality type was different than who she was in person? If so, that is two strikes, and - IMO - two strikes against the most important characteristics of a romantic partner, looks and personality.

Personally, I would have been tempted to turn around and walk away upon seeing her in person for the first time, if she differed that much from her photo.

I think that since she was untruthful with you - and intentionally untruthful - you should be allowed a get-out-of-jail-for-free card on this one.

you don't have to call her, my friend. that is the dating life.

I had a blind date show up who was obviously loosing her hair, big time. it happens. sometimes you feel chemistry, sometimes you don't. you tell them you will call, that doesn't mean you have to.

good luck next time.

Originally Posted by Dakota rube

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So guys, time to help the old man with some dating protocol. I should've known better, but I succumbed to the lure of the on-line datings sites and posted a profile. A gal "winked" at me, we corresponded, talked on the phone several times and things were good.

Her profile and on-line photo are quite desirable. Last night we arranged to meet at a downtown bar for a late-night drink. I walked in and immediately saw her, but she is at least 70 pounds heavier than the picture she posted!

We chatted, made good eye contact (since looking at her body would've seemed like staring at a traffic accident) and went our separate ways at about midnight. She hugged me HARD (at which time I was happy to note that Little Johnny Cochran wasn't even rrustling in his chair let alone standing up to address the jury!) and asked if I'd phone her again. I told her I'd give her a call tonight.

Sitting there last night I couldn't help but notice she bears a quite uncanny resemblance to Robin Williams (presumably without the body hair, but that remains unknown, thankfully). Big wide face, rather squarish body, and a bit of an underbite.

Question: I have to phone her, but to what end? I'm not interested in seeing this gal again, but I don't want to come off all superficial and tell her the truth. What do I say?

Follow-up: Why the f*** would a woman post a picture that is obviously not what she looks like? Do they think no one will notice?



Yeah, that sucks. I've done the online thing and people don't always look like their pic.

If you need to tell her anything just say that you are not really interested in dating any further because you didn't really fat, oops, I mean feel any attraction. I've found that being tactful as opposed to brutally honest really makes my life a lot easier and doesn't cause as much damage. Or, do what I do sometimes and don't call back...

Someone I went to school with recently emailed me on myspace. I would never have known I went to school with her if she hadn't said something. She is much prettier than she was back in the day.

Unfortunately, after a couple of dates and now being interested in HER, I now talk to voice mail quite often, get the "not tonight I have homework, meeting friends, blah blah blah". Oh well.

I'll just go out and buy more clothing as to fix any pain I may feel. Or, maybe post in the CE forum about global warming. That's always a good distraction...

Also, you should add 'Robin Williams' to your Tags on this thread.

Sucks dude, I'm mean Dakota rube.

Originally Posted by VMan

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Also, you should add 'Robin Williams' to your Tags on this thread.

70 lbs heavier?????

I'm out the door if she weighs more than 70 lbs in total.

Send her a tee-shirt like this:

Is the picture of her actually her but when she weighed less or of a totally different person?

Do NOT call her.

If she tracks you down on-line, tell her you couldn't call because you had to sell your phone to make bail.

Hopefully this will not turn her on.

You don't have to call. "I'll call you" is dating boilerplate that doesn't mean anything. Women do the same thing. I have had many women agree to a second date at the end of the first only to renege when I later ask them out again.

Sitting there last night I couldn't help but notice she bears a quite uncanny resemblance to Robin Williams (presumably without the body hair, but that remains unknown, thankfully). Big wide face, rather squarish body, and a bit of an underbite.
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Sounds more like Mrs. Doubtfire. This woman wasn't honest with you. Drop her while the dropping's good.

I disagree. Take the moral high road, call her, thank her for the nice evening, and tell her that you just didn't think it would be a good match. Takes two minutes, no real effort, and you stay squeeky clean. If she's borderline psycho, that shouldn't push her over into stalking territory like simply ignoring her might do.

Tom

Originally Posted by tiger02

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I disagree. Take the moral high road, call her, thank her for the nice evening, and tell her that you just didn't think it would be a good match. Takes two minutes, no real effort, and you stay squeeky clean. If she's borderline psycho, that shouldn't push her over into stalking territory like simply ignoring her might do.

My name is Saucemaster, and I endorse this post.