Quote:
Originally Posted by
Eason 
You have a seder for the first night of chankuah and it just goes for fucking ages (depending on how much stuff you want to read and act out) but on the bright side you get to eat matzah with charosset and horseradish, eat some hard-boiled eggs, whatever you're really hungry from waiting so goddamn long so it all tastes good. Around half-way through, you light the middle candle and then use it to light one of the candles (+1 each additional night) and eventually you get to eat a lot of bland food but it has its charms (matza ball soup, matza with charosset, macaroons, latkes). You get given a pencil or a piece of paper each night for your gift because your parents are cheap Jews and they're saving up for you to go to Harvard law and for your sister's sweet 16 nose-job, and 7 days later you have a second seder to finish off the holiday and the matza and grape juice and horrible wine go back in the cupboard until next year. There, you've just experienced my childhood I mean chanakuah.
Chanakuah isn't really even a big Jewish holiday. Pesach is the big one, also the one with the little hat cookies filled with jam. Whoever came up with that one was a fucking genius.
What, no dreidel and the pot of gelt? That's fercockt! (Matzah ball soup, however, is good!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
EL72 Short summary of all Jewish holidays: They tried to kill us; we won; let's eat!
[I think I stole that from Jackie Mason].
Mazel Tov!!
And a Happy Hanukkah to all.
You are Jewish?
). happy hanukkah!
