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Asking out someone you don't know.

post #1 of 86
11/5/09 at 10:35pm
Thread Starter 
So, there is this girl in one of my large classes, which I think is good looking, I wish I knew her, but I don't. Is it weird/creepy to ask somebody out that you don't know? I know nothing about her, like her age. Also if it would be acceptable, how would I go about asking her out? Sorry I know this sounds like an 8th grade problem. Any serious help would be awesome. Thanks
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post #2 of 86
11/5/09 at 10:41pm
Incollegetheydon'tteachspacebar?
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post #3 of 86
11/5/09 at 10:49pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ama View Post
Incollegetheydon'tteachspacebar?

Thanks for the peer review. I edited it just for you.
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post #4 of 86
11/5/09 at 10:50pm
It's not acceptable and you will lose any chance if you proceed.

What is acceptable is to get to know someone, find out you have a common interest(s) and then ask her out.

You can invite her to a party (that is more than just you, or you and your dateless friends) and get to know here there.

Or you can just have one of your friends (not in the class) grab her ass and run to her defense. But that is more of an advanced icebreaker.
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post #5 of 86
11/5/09 at 10:55pm
Let's compare points of view.

From your point of view - you've just found out that she's a pretty girl, and you'd like to get to know her better because she's a pretty girl. That makes her special in your eyes.

From her point of view - she has known she's a pretty girl for a long time, and every guy who sees her on the street, on the bus, on Facebook, in a bar would like to get to know her better because she's a pretty girl. What makes you special in her eyes?

Now go find a way to be awesome and have her notice you.
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post #6 of 86
11/5/09 at 11:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by alliswell View Post
Let's compare points of view.

From your point of view - you've just found out that she's a pretty girl, and you'd like to get to know her better because she's a pretty girl. That makes her special in your eyes.

From her point of view - she has known she's a pretty girl for a long time, and every guy who sees her on the street, on the bus, on Facebook, in a bar would like to get to know her better because she's a pretty girl. What makes you special in her eyes?

Now go find a way to be awesome and have her notice you.

+1000

From what I've seen (and crassly f*ed up trying, to be fair), by the time you notice an attractive female she has long since gotten over the novelty of being harassed for her genetic makeup.

At the very least, find a way to sit next to her and chat for a couple lectures before you do anything stalker-esque. Or, you know, try Agnacious's suggestion and fake some chivalry. Let us know how that goes!
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post #7 of 86
11/5/09 at 11:07pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by alliswell View Post
Let's compare points of view.

From your point of view - you've just found out that she's a pretty girl, and you'd like to get to know her better because she's a pretty girl. That makes her special in your eyes.

From her point of view - she has known she's a pretty girl for a long time, and every guy who sees her on the street, on the bus, on Facebook, in a bar would like to get to know her better because she's a pretty girl. What makes you special in her eyes?

Now go find a way to be awesome and have her notice you.

Excellent point.Honestly,the thing I know what separates me,from 98% of my school is that I dress decently,and I can tell,by the way she dresses that it important to her.I know that doesnt mean much,but I think it would be a shit,except I'm shy as hell.
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post #8 of 86
11/5/09 at 11:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by alliswell View Post
Let's compare points of view. From your point of view - you've just found out that she's a pretty girl, and you'd like to get to know her better because she's a pretty girl. That makes her special in your eyes. From her point of view - she has known she's a pretty girl for a long time, and every guy who sees her on the street, on the bus, on Facebook, in a bar would like to get to know her better because she's a pretty girl. What makes you special in her eyes? Now go find a way to be awesome and have her notice you.
haha nice.
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post #9 of 86
11/5/09 at 11:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeman View Post
I'm shy as hell.

That's the problem. Girls, especially attractive ones, want a confident, calm guy who doesn't care what she thinks of him or whether she turns him down.

Whatever you do, don't compliment her on her looks. That would make you look like the countless others who have done the same - plain Joe.
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post #10 of 86
11/5/09 at 11:17pm
Thread Starter 
So, how would you approach her?What would you say if you didnt know them at all?
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post #11 of 86
11/5/09 at 11:25pm
If you are in class together it doesn't get easier. Keep looking at her (it should be done naturally if she's beautiful) and she will notice it. If you are attractive/her type she will smile to you. Even if she's shy she will smile (in a shy, cute way). If she's not she will look back and smile. Take it from there.
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post #12 of 86
11/5/09 at 11:37pm
Thread Starter 
well I do look,but I think I would ask her out after class,what would I say to her?
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post #13 of 86
11/5/09 at 11:38pm
I don't see the problem with asking someone to do something with you. They're not obliged and can willingly reject the offer if you're a pimple-faced goon who first asks an Internet forum for a confidence boost.
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post #14 of 86
11/5/09 at 11:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeman View Post
So, there is this girl in one of my large classes, which I think is good looking, I wish I knew her, but I don't. Is it weird/creepy to ask somebody out that you don't know? I know nothing about her, like her age. Also if it would be acceptable, how would I go about asking her out? Sorry I know this sounds like an 8th grade problem. Any serious help would be awesome. Thanks
Ok, so introduce yourself and start a conversation about class. During the chit-chat discuss something about life - say a party or get together your friends are having. Guage her interest, then if you see an opening invite her and some of her friends. After that, if she shows, bs with her then invite her out. Ultimately, shy or not, girls like guys who are "confident and calm". You need to appear comfortable in your own skin. You think all those hot girls are? 80% aren't. Anyway, don't over think it (yes, it's a cliche like 95% of the responses here), chat with her and see her response. Maybe she is a standoffish bitch, maybe she isn't. But start with just the basics, then see where things lead. The best bet is if you go out with her or invite her out to hang with a bunch of friends, keep it casual and see where it goes.
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post #15 of 86
11/5/09 at 11:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeman View Post
well I do look,but I think I would ask her out after class,what would I say to her?
If she smiles back talk to her. I know it's not easy but just tell yourself that your only barrier at this point is your shyness. You must overcome it. Say some goofy shit, she doesn't care at that point (assuming she smiled back). Start a convo saying "sorry do you know how to solve this.." or "how did you find the exam?" etc. Ask her a general question you would ask someone you are not interested to. Don't ask her out immediately. Forget about the "game" you hear about on the internet. It's for people that are not charming by just being themselves.
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