Not Many Asking about Clothing for Dates

mensimageconsultant · Apr 26, 2006

It's odd that here and in other clothing forums, few people ask about how to dress for dates. Many new members ask very basic questions about matters like interviews and weddings. Do average men think it unimportant if they already know the person? Or what is it?

RJman · Apr 26, 2006

Maybe we've learned that it's what's inside that counts...

whoopee · Apr 26, 2006

I have notcied that many new members come here because of a need to adhere to specific dress codes, eg work, interviews, weddings.

topcatny · Apr 26, 2006

My wife doesn't let me date any more.

tangerine · Apr 26, 2006

To paraphrase RJMan, I like to dress as myself for dates. I feel much more relaxed and confident that way. Also, I do not create any unrealistic expectations regarding my attire in general.

aybojs · Apr 26, 2006

I don't date.

Steve B. · Apr 26, 2006

I think it depends on a host of factors and there's no set rule...

I or someone else could probably write a book on that subject alone.

But by the time you got it published, it'd be out of date.

dusty · Apr 26, 2006

Both men and women dress to impress men.

LA Guy · Apr 26, 2006

(Before I got married,) I figured that if a woman didn't care for my style (and I was a stylist, so my wardrobe choices were not careless) she wasn't my style.

mensimageconsultant · Apr 26, 2006

Many interesting replies so far, thanks.

Women also dress for other women. The subtext seems to be that it is unmasculine for a man to dress for approval when he doesn't have to, especially if it's a woman's approval. Or at least to be seen as seeking such approval.

But dressing for dates isn't supposed to be that. It's more about being situationally appropriate, communicating personality traits, and setting the right mood (mostly through color and fit).

Steve is right - any book about dating attire would soon become outdated, but the guidelines above have this company considering writing an article.

It also is possible that the newbie questions focus on dress codes because more fluid subjects like dating require more sharing of personal information.

Does anyone here who didn't used to care about style recall how much, if any, special thought he put into dating attire then?

tangerine · Apr 26, 2006

I'm not clear on where you're seeing the subtext you mention. I think the answers so far indicate that we want approval for being who we already know we are; I don't see where masculinity has been an issue. I think we are trying to communicate personality traits by dressing in the style we have already cultivated.

I am curious to know what you mean about setting the right mood through color and fit. That went right over my head.

Since I was interested in clothes and style long before I started dating, I can't help with your last question, but I hope someone who can answer it will.

skalogre · Apr 26, 2006

I have mentioned the same thing but in prior threads, but I am soooo thankful I am married. I could not possibly deal with dating again. Sheesh. Anyway, I am also interested in the subtext you mentioned. Could you please elaborate?

mensimageconsultant · Apr 27, 2006

Let's assume that, on a date, both the man and woman are evaluating for a long-term relationship. If she is the typical woman, she will rule him out if he is too aggressive or not masculine enough.

Color and fit - and also texture - communicate power and sensuality. Red, for example, signals sexuality; and a pair of jeans with a flattering fit shows a woman a favorite part of the male form. If a man wears attire that communicates the right mix of the two qualities, he is unlikely to be rejected before he opens his mouth and (at least initially) what he does say is going to be filtered positively.

tangerine · Apr 27, 2006

That makes sense. I was wondering how one reconciled color and fit for mood-setting with "everyday" flattering colors and fits for an individual. For instance, I don't wear much red, I don't think it's the best color for me. But from your example I take it that even a red accent could be enough to set the mood. Am I reading you right?

GQgeek · Apr 28, 2006

Originally Posted by mensimageconsultant.com

Color and fit - and also texture - communicate power and sensuality. Red, for example, signals sexuality; and a pair of jeans with a flattering fit shows a woman a favorite part of the male form. If a man wears attire that communicates the right mix of the two qualities, he is unlikely to be rejected before he opens his mouth and (at least initially) what he does say is going to be filtered positively.

Obviously what you chose to wear and whether or not it fits you properly is important, but when I see so-called experts (no disrespect intended) giving advice on what colors to wear in an attempt to influence how you will be perceived by women, I can't help but wonder who actually buys that stuff.

Now if you said that wearing bright colors signals a certain level of confidence in a man, I could live with that. But saying that red signals sexuality, or blue signals serenity or calm is ridiculous. Personally, I pick colors I like that also look good on me. They're not a window to my soul. I would think that most reasonable people, even women, would probably realize that I'm not any more sexual than the next guy because I'm wearing a red shirt ;p

Not Many Asking about Clothing for Dates

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