Time to yourself when married or living with a SO

[LA Guy]



She's pissed that I'd rather do zero vacations a year.

I feel you. I used to love to travel, up until my late 20s. I literally spent every summer in graduate school and a summer in college travelling all over the place. There are European cities I know nearly as well as I know my home town (that is, I know the cheap places to eat, and the shopping). Just adding up all of the time now, I've spent in excess of 6 months in Paris and 3 months in Spain, much of it in Northern Spain.

But these days, I only voluntarily travel for business, and I stay in a either a corporate chain hotel with a decent gym or wherever is convenient to the event I am attending. Room service is important, because the last thing I want after a day working is having to figure out where to eat. We did have a pretty nice family vacation on Orcas Island, and the best part of that was getting to actually read a book on the porch, and watching the kids play on the beach.

For some reason, women seem obsessed with doing activities. I just wanna chill out and *not* do activities.

 

[NORE]



Still don't get wtf women place so much emphasis on traveling the world.

So they can tell (read: brag to) their girlfriends about where they went & show pictures. Also, this:

women on online dating who mention travel so much on their profiles.

 

[patrickBOOTH]



This is truth for me. Mobile devices are wireless leashes. There's an old saying, "Nobody is more important than the person in front of you". When I'm on vacation, my wife and sometimes my kids are the only people in front of me. I will even leave the phone in the hotel room just to make sure it doesn't interrupt. Making memories is way more important than a freaking email, which in three days you'll forget you had. There's a whole lot of life to live outside work.

You have a wife and kids? I always pictured you as like an 18 year old kid...

I feel you. I used to love to travel, up until my late 20s. I literally spent every summer in graduate school and a summer in college travelling all over the place. There are European cities I know nearly as well as I know my home town (that is, I know the cheap places to eat, and the shopping). Just adding up all of the time now, I've spent in excess of 6 months in Paris and 3 months in Spain, much of it in Northern Spain.
But these days, I only voluntarily travel for business, and I stay in a either a corporate chain hotel with a decent gym or wherever is convenient to the event I am attending. Room service is important, because the last thing I want after a day working is having to figure out where to eat. We did have a pretty nice family vacation on Orcas Island, and the best part of that was getting to actually read a book on the porch, and watching the kids play on the beach.
For some reason, women seem obsessed with doing activities. I just wanna chill out and *not* do activities.

I hear this. My girlfriend is an explorer. Even on holidays when we are both off like this coming Monday she wants to have an excursion of some sort. I'd rather read books at the cafe. I think we are going to settle on going to the Cloisters Museum since we have always wanted to go, but t0o lazy to treck up to the Northern tip of Manhattan.

 

[patrickBOOTH]



This is interesting. My girlfriend who I've only been dating for about two months is all about traveling. She wants to go to all sorts of god damn places I really don't have a lot of interest in going, like safaris in Africa and stuff. I am more of a beach and relaxation guy myself. That said, I am open to trying these things as long as we can get into some sort of rotation where we can alternate who gets to pick what types of trips we'd go on.
Still don't get wtf women place so much emphasis on traveling the world. Reminds me of another thread recently about women on online dating who mention travel so much on their profiles.

It really is a thing though. I don't understand it. Also my girlfriend rather go to 3rd world countries and such. I think it stems from her social anxiety. I think she doesn't feel like she has to fit in, or look cool, or have any of those pressures that her job, or New York circles put on you. I think she finds it freeing.

Many other girls are either Facebook whores, or hedonists!

 

[gort]



It really is a thing though. I don't understand it. Also my girlfriend rather go to 3rd world countries and such. I think it stems from her social anxiety. I think she doesn't feel like she has to fit in, or look cool, or have any of those pressures that her job, or New York circles put on you. I think she finds it freeing.
Many other girls are either Facebook whores, or hedonists!

I pretty much told my girlfriend that I'd rather not go on any vacation where I could potentially be killed -- whether it be by some wild animal or some dangerous natives in a third world country. ANything else I'd at least entertain the idea of.

My idea of a perfect vacation is sitting on a beach with clear oceans, ice cold alcoholic beverage in hand, getting a sun tan and eating lots of awesome food.

 

[gomestar]

yeah, the whole third world thing is lame. I get diarrhea enough as it is.

 

[Neo_Version 7]

As much as I hate traveling, I would rather suck it up and go with her. Who know what type of muscled African she'll run into? I don't need that in my life....

 

[patrickBOOTH]

Waterboard her. It's proven to work.

 

[IrateCustomer]



You have a wife and kids? I always pictured you as like an 18 year old kid...

Haha, more than double that. Been married 14 years. I'm not sure if I should be insulted, or if I should take it as a "you have a very youthful soul". I tend to lean toward the positive in these situations.

 

[patrickBOOTH]

I don't mean anything by it, it is just interesting how we all come across.

 

[IrateCustomer]

It's fine pB, I still wub you...and your black shoes.

 

[LA Guy]



I pretty much told my girlfriend that I'd rather not go on any vacation where I could potentially be killed -- whether it be by some wild animal or some dangerous natives in a third world country. ANything else I'd at least entertain the idea of.
My idea of a perfect vacation is sitting on a beach with clear oceans, ice cold alcoholic beverage in hand, getting a sun tan and eating lots of awesome food.

So, essentially, a Corona commercial.

 

[Satorialist]



I feel like I have to be active in conversation with her, or actively paying attention to her and such.

When dating there's always a reprieve either at the end of the evening or the next morning/afternoon where we part ways for a few hours--either heading to our respective homes or elsewhere. This alone time allows me to decompress and reenergize, and prepare mentally for our next block of time together. But once you've moved in this reprieve is gone. And it creates a certain anxiety....a self-consciousness to not letting myself retreat into my own mind (as i'm normally used to doing, and is my natural state) because I feel I should be constantly engaging this other person, who I don't want to bore.

It is an adjustment.

People born into large family's are less prone to suffer this since they're used to being around other people 24/7--they don't find the constant engagement fatiguing.

 

[hoozah]

Having time apart is healthy. Even if you're in the same room, you can be doing separate things.