Online etiquette with friends and family

[Nomad_K]

Good day everyone,

I wanted to inquire as to current etiquette when chatting online with friends, partners, family, et al. A recent discussion - in person thankfully - with a group of friends ended with limited consensus on the appropriateness of chatting with a few people (bouncing back and forth between chats, the odd delay here or there) in different situations.

When just catching up on random events, everyone seemed to feel that chatting with a few people was a good thing. Friends felt that this was the electronic group get together where people dropped in and out of different conversations.

However, when chatting or talking to a friend about something more serious, or personal for example, opinions diverged. Some younger friends stated that they could hold a "˜primary' discussion while still catching up with other people at the same time. The "˜working folk' were more of the opinion that when something important was being discussed, or one was chatting with a family member or close friend about something important, other chats or conversations ought to be held for another time.

In a world without computers - if a friend dropped by my place or we were out catching up about something important to them, I would probably have my phone on silent, meeting, or even off, but I wouldn't entertain calls while trying to listen to a friend in need. I see little reason to alter that approach when moving into the online realm.

Thank you in advance for your thoughts!

 

[Crawford]

If the conversation is so serious that it requires you 100% atttention then I would probably consider it more appropriate to have it in person rather than online.

Maybe there are some circumstances where the two people are seperated by some great distance, but even then there's the phone.

 

[MetroStyles]

Originally Posted by Crawford

If the conversation is so serious that it requires you 100% atttention then I would probably consider it more appropriate to have it in person rather than online.

Maybe there are some circumstances where the two people are seperated by some great distance, but even then there's the phone.

+1. The nature of online chatting is to be cursory and superficial for the most part. And as such, it is totally fine to chat with multiple people at once.

 

[Nomad_K]

Originally Posted by MetroStyles

+1. The nature of online chatting is to be cursory and superficial for the most part. And as such, it is totally fine to chat with multiple people at once.

Thank you both for the thoughts! I wholeheartedly agree that some things are best discussed in person.

That said some younger friends actually seem more comfortable chatting online than talking on the phone or in person about some things, hence the conundrum about how to have a 'serious conversation' via a medium which many do not feel is suited to the task. Now the question - how to pass along and reiterate what was already discussed - in person, on the phone, or while chatting online

?

 

[MCsommerreid]

It really depends on the conversation. Like middlin' level importance would fall under one primary conversation, and maybe a few secondary. Major important discussion either gets full attention, or gets done face to face.

I fall under one of those people who prefers instant messaging MASSIVELY over the telephone. When it comes to voice inflection to display emotion, I am entirely unable to pick up on it. Telephone conversations are fast paced enough that I wont pick up on any of that and have to come up with responses on the fly. In person conversations requires the same on the fly responses, but at least there I have the benefit of body language. Instant messaging has neither body language nor tone of voice, so it's about the same as a phone call for me, but where I can delay my response by a few seconds should I need to be tactful.

I can't do what some people can, the continual ADD stimulus style instant messaging, text messaging, music on, movie on, video game playing, while holding a telephone call kind of stuff. That's just a ridiculous amount of stimulus all at once, and is probably why my entire generation and the one following it are a bunch of hyperactive social messes.

 

[hadamulletonce]

For work, instant messaging is great way to communicate quick points without having a meeting or picking up the phone. Quick questions like ""Jim, did you finish coding the page?". If it involves more than a yes, no or a quick comment, I would rather discuss it over the phone or face to face.

With family or friends, I would much rather take time catching up with them in person when possible.

 

[MetroStyles]

I prefer chatting online to talking on the phone with the exception of only a very few people close to me:

-Parents
-Girls I really like
-Really good guy friends, but then again, dudes don't really talk on the phone much so this rarely comes up unless we are making plans to meet up

 

[GQgeek]

I block most of my relatives. Exception is my grandparents. My aunt was really annoying before I blocked her.