Moving out (Away from parents)

[dtmt]

I guess it boils down to this: how long are your parents planning to support you? I mean, if you get used to having your cake and eating it too -- having your own place but not paying for it -- then IMO it will be much more difficult to make the transition to paying your own way.

Also, I think it's to live at home for a while if at all possible, even after graduation. Then, use this time productively to build up as much long-term savings as possible, so when you do finally move out on your own, you're starting out with a strong financial foundation.

 

[kwilkinson]

Originally Posted by Connemara

You wanna get married at 21? Yikes. IMO that is just throwing your youth out the door.

Countess--

Not everybody wants to live your life of getting drunk every night and making futile attempts at getting random sex.

 

[jtang]

My 2 cents.

I sort of moved out of home when I was 18 when I started college. I say sort of because I was about 15 minutes away, and my parents paid for a large portion my rent/food/tuition/clothes, etc. and I would go home 1-2 times/week. Even though I wasn't totally independent from them I feel like I learned how to do a lot of things for myself. Things like when to do work vs. play and how to get up for class/work without anyone having to wake me up.

I just recently graduated and moved about an hour away from home to start work. So far I'm loving it and while there is a lot more responsibility (rent, bills, food, transportation, money management) I feel very confident I can handle it from what I learned when I first moved out. I have good credit and a budget mapped out for myself (well, not for my first paycheck, I went a little bit crazy with that =P).

So, my advice to you is if you can move out, even if you have to support yourself a little bit, do it. I'll admit, I moved out because I wanted to have fun without my parents breathing down my neck, but I definitely learned a lot too.

 

[Stazy]

 

[CTGuy]

Originally Posted by Stazy

Both of you have raised good points. I guess my perspective is that I don't need to be financially independent to learn the various life skills that come with moving out. I might not get the "full experience" but I'm not sure that really matters. Obviously I'll eventually have to support myself but what's the big rush? Easing into adulthood seems less stressful and more enjoyable than having to deal with it all at once.

I actually started to reply to this earlier today and then forgot so I'll follow up.

I think the financial independence thing has to do somehow with what you are getting out of living on your own. When mom and dad still pay for everything I think people greatly overestimate or overstate how much of a maturing and important experience their supposed independence is. That being said- my parents paid for a lot in college, but I was within a certain budget and I do think that their was a certain value to the experience-- I just think that speaking from my own experience, I got more out of it later on in life when I was either in law school and the money came from loans I was responsible for and from my job as was the experience when I have been working and supporting myself. As I said-- I think the independence I had in college was important, but you seem to be on the fence on this issue so I think a lot of people are offering you opinions on why staying home might make sense so maybe keep that in mind.

I also will add one more kind of somber consideration. I had a chance to be a boarding school student in high school, but ended up living at home. I didn't like it much and often complained, etc. but then my dad passed away my sophmore year of college it made me feel that I wouldn't trade the time I had living as a family with my parents and brothers those last couple years for anything. Chances are you will move off and do your own thing soon enough, you'll probably look back at this time fondly and I am sure your parents will as well (as it sounds like they want you to stay at home).

There are obviously other considerations like how is this effecting your social life, which is a pretty important consideration actually.

 

[mrinject]

Originally Posted by Viktri

If your parents are paying for your "moving out place" I don't think you'd be getting the whole "moving out" experience" that teaches fiscal responsibility and such which are avilable experiences. Just my opinion.

+1

You're very lucky to be able to live with your parents and save on so much costs. I'm assuming you're working right now?

I think the best time to move out is when you can support yourself, which you should work on doing soon since you don't want to be that 25+ dude who lives at home or who gets rent money from his parents.

Don't make your parents pay rent and all your other bills just so you can live on your own.

 

[feynmix]

I moved out of the house when I moved 900 miles away for college. 5 years later, here I sit, in my own place paying my own rent and bills, learning about finances and how to keep up your own home. I am currently hosting my parents at my place and showing them around as they visit me for a week. I am 22, and they normally live on the other side of the world.

 

[Joffrey]

I lived at home for two years after graduating college. I think everyone should do it if they can, simply as a easy way to save money, pay off student loans or debt you may have accrued in school, and settle into the working life with minimal problems. Do a full year if you can and pad your savings, then get a place if you're up to it.

 

[bsblguy31]

Originally Posted by Jodum5

I lived at home for two years after graduating college. I think everyone should do it if they can, simply as a easy way to save money, pay off student loans or debt you may have accrued in school, and settle into the working life with minimal problems. Do a full year if you can and pad your savings, then get a place if you're up to it.

+1. I was in a similar situation. I went to school about a couple hours away from home and lived with three roommates for most of school. After graduating, I came home and spent a few months trying to find a job while living at home. After finding a job, it was my plan to live at home for 1-2 years with little expenses (gas, cell phone about it). That way, I would have a good amount of money saved up where I could put down a down payment on a house or condo. My parents were all for that plan and were happy to have me there. Turns out, after being at my job for about four months, a wrench was thrown right into my plan. A company I had been interviewing at before graduation called me and offered me a position. It was the job I'd really been hoping for all along. It had more career potential than the position I was at before, only problem was it was halfway across the country. I'd be making a little more money, but with the many more expenses I'd have living on my own, I would be coming home with considerably less. I'd also be moving away from all my family and friends. It was a tough decision, but I decided to move away. I've been away for about six weeks and thinking about it, I know I made the right call. For me, it wasn't about moving out or not. I would have gladly lived at home another year and continued at the job I was at. It was simply the best decision for me personally and professionally. I'd lived in the same state my entire life and it was time for me to experience something new.

Living at home with your parents is a big adjustment from living on your own at school for four years. The tension you feel with your parents is natural. There were times when I couldn't stand it and felt like I had to get out. There were also times when I really enjoyed having family close by. Everybody's situation is different, but I definitely think it's a smart move to live at home in the beginning. It really allows you to get settled and save money rather than having all of your expenses pile up at once. It may suck sometimes, but think about all that you're really gaining by doing it and it doesn't seem so terrible. Moving out is a big step in a man's life. Make sure you really think it through before doing it. If you're not completely sold on it, it's probably not the right call. Good luck.

 

[babygreenspots]

Or skip all the concerns about being responsible and the financial issues by moving out and living in a developing country.

 

[constant struggle]

I would say if you are still in school, move out for a semester even if your parents are supporting you this would help you alot...

I think though if you are out of school, have your own job, etc, there is no way your parents should be supporting you if you move out. If you want to move out on your own, do it with your own money.

Personally I live at home still at age 23, working full time. I was in school for 4 years and lived 2.5 hours away, so I did get some experience of being away. I am currently saving up for a big down payment, and I will also need a new car in 2 years when my lease paid for by my parents expires (car was my graduation gift). Although I do not see my parents as much as some people I am sure, as during the summer they are often at our shore house, as am I, but not always at the same time. I also spend plenty of weekends at my girlfriends house with her and her family. Overall I don't have as much privacy as I would like, but it is still a good amount of freedom in my house, not having any bills to pay besides car insurance, gas, and whatever things I want such as clothes or going out to eat. I will try to save for 1-2 more years, or maybe until my girlfriend is done with college, and then I will move out with a nice down payment for a condo.

This is my plan, maybe you could build off of it.

 

[Stazy]

Thanks for all the input.

I'm going to have a talk with my Dad in the next day or so and see how things go. I've decided that I want to move out within the next year.

 

[CTGuy]

Originally Posted by Stazy

Thanks for all the input.

I'm going to have a talk with my Dad in the next day or so and see how things go. I've decided that I want to move out within the next year.

That sounds like a pretty mature thing to do. Sit down with your pop and let him know what you are thinking. Chances are he knows this is coming, but by bringing it up first and laying out why you think it would be beneficial I bet he'll respect the thought you put into it.