Handling idiot friends who love to step on your new shoes.

[in stitches]

Knee to crotch then face

 

[chevron]

I take off my shoes, step back about 5 feet and then while they stand there looking stupid, WHAM

 

[HRoi]

What personal possession of theirs do they treasure the most? Urinate on it. You can tell them that you're "christening" it too.

Extra credit if you end up urinating on their cat. Or their mom.

 

[tone76]

Originally Posted by blahman

How do you handle yours?

I choose not to associate with wankers, therefore I never have this problem.

 

[ALFAMALE]

Originally Posted by Man Of Lint

Sleep with their sisters. That'll teach 'em.

Or have intercourse with their mothers, and remind them that you did.

 

[Thanks SF (a new me)]

Originally Posted by JohnShaft

Funny this should come up. I've never told this story to relative strangers before but:

My parents were well dressed people and raised me to be similar. As a small child, as we all should be, I was instructed to properly care for my clothing when out and about.

Well, at about 5-6 years of age, I was standing in line for something at school when the boy behind me purposely stepped on my new shoes.

I informed him that they were new shoes and to please not step on them as I would get in trouble with my parents if they were mistreated.

Of course, since dolts are born to do what they feel they must, he stepped on them again.

I then informed him that if he did it one more time, I would punch him in the nose.

He did. I did. There was some blood and a brief official kerfuffle due to the times being in the 'peace movement' days but my shoes were never again molested.

I retain this very effective method for dealing with people even today. I've found it's the only thing, deep down, that most people understand. I feel a gentleman needs one notice, at the most two, in order to behave properly. After that, I'll correct his behaviour as I see fit.

Dearest OP, you need new friends or you need to correct their behaviour for them.

you call these friends? flashback to when I was in 4th grade at a very conservative Jesuit Catholic school, beat the **** out the the 6th grader bully...a week suspension and almost excommunicated

..dont **** around with my shiny new Thom McAn's..

 

[Big A]

Striking Cobra Quick Kill" or "Flying Giant Stork Death Kick." Or knife.

 

[LaoHu]

Originally Posted by Thanks SF (a new me)

you call these friends? flashback to when I was in 4th grade at a very conservative Jesuit Catholic school, beat the **** out the the 6th grader bully...a week suspension and almost excommunicated

..dont **** around with my shiny new Thom McAn's..

AMDG

 

[Keyboard Warrior]

Let's take this up a notch. What can you do when a hot gal wearing those nice pointy high heels steps on your shiny new shoes?

 

[blahman]

Originally Posted by Keyboard Warrior

Let's take this up a notch. What can you do when a hot gal wearing those nice pointy high heels steps on your shiny new shoes?

Eh...
Punch her in the face, then ask her out?

 

[Imhoff]

Originally Posted by blahman

Eh...
Punch her in the face, then ask her out?

Women's Rights Movement for equality FTW!!!!

 

[Star]

Unfortunately I had this done to me by idiot work managers at Friday after work drinks. One was intoxicated because he had drunk a few as it was his last day and the other had a few but not as many as a the other knob. What was worse was that I was wearing brown suede shoes. I could not punch anyone out; nevertheless, it was an act of bastardy and for that moment they were a pack of assholes.

 

[L'Incandescent]

Originally Posted by Man Of Lint

Sleep with their sisters. That'll teach 'em.

Yeah, I know just what you mean. Whenever I ******** with a lady, she experiences a great sadness and wonders (out loud) what she (or her brother) could have done to deserve such a fate. And then I say "Your brother stepped on my shoes that one time and so that's why you just had unsatisfying sex." (Sometimes the lady's brother hadn't really stepped on my shoes; I just use that as an excuse.)

 

[GBR]

Originally Posted by blahman

I'm sure some of you have idiot friends who like to christen your new shoes with a nice shoe mark.

I thank them with a gentle tap in their gut with my fist and a nice appreciative "**** off".

How do you handle yours?

Change your friends and/or grow up.

 

[lasbar]

Originally Posted by ALFAMALE

Or have intercourse with their mothers, and remind them that you did.

Or their wives...