What objects will your children remember you by?

a few years ago there was an article in GQ where the writer discussed how he remembered his father. his fathers clothing, wht he smoked and drank, and a few cherished objects that belonged to his father. he discribed how every time he thought of his father he pictured him dressed in a certain way, and he associated certain objects with him.

the writer went on to discribe how he hoped people, and his children in particular, would think of him, in terms of material objects (that is, aside from how they would relate to his charactor and other traits).

this had a huge influence on me, mostly because my wife was about to have our first child. my memories of my father (a good man) see him in an engineers shirt (white, short sleeved, 2 pockets) with loaded pockets, chinos and cheap black loafers; smelling of coffee, cigerettes and peanut butter and driving an old van.

I thought seriously about the small group of objects that I would want my son to associate with me, the style of dress, the smells.

My toddler son is now very aware of my things and my clothes. where I once thought about what women would think when I looked at clothing and objects, now I think about how he will remember them in 30 years (strangly enough). Although I am avoiding the trap of thinking that he will want my things, I do want him to have a certain feeling for my sense of style.

my own style is dictated by a few things - my access to different markets, my desire for simplicity, my constraints of providing for a family, an old school style sense. my shoes are all heavy black handmade boxcalf oxfords, my (bespoke) suits are all dark wool, I wear braces and my socks, underwear and everyday (bespoke) shirts are all identical. My (very few) ties are all thick silk in dark blue with a stripe, dot or crest. I use a single creed scent (chosen specifically because I know it will be available for the rest of my life). I am typically never without a cell phone/pda, a handkerchief, a set of worry beads, a simple money clip and card case with one credit card and a fountain pen.



anybody want to share how they may be remembered in terms of personal style/objects in their pockets?

nice post.

I would rather my daughter remember me for my character, my beliefs, the way I treat others, love, etc.

However, regarding material objects, I think when she becomes old enough to notice these things, will remember me for my sense of matching colors, patterns, fabrics; my almost-anal way of sorting my closet; my briefcase; my gadget du jour (Treo 600 for the moment); my Wall Street Journal; and my tremendous music collection.

My daughter will remember me most because she knows I love her. On the material end, the only item she has ever commented on is my briefcase, and then only to ask it if it's "real leather". I try to keep my interest in clothes at home to a minimum, primarily because I'm the only one who is interested.

I try to keep my interest in clothes at home to a minimum, primarily because I'm the only one who is interested.

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i know what you mean - my family and friends tune out the instant i start talking about clothes. that god for SF.

STYLESTUDENT--For goodness' sake, don't keep us in suspense. Is it real leather?

Mike, Thanks for your concern. I bought it at the old Swaine Adeney shop on Post Street in SF and it seems to have all these crown and other impressive seals and images on the red-lined inside. So I'm pretty sure it is.

...so it's made of seal-skin? sweet.

re. the topic:
My children are probably not old enough to remember stuff yet - i know i don't remember much from when i was 2 years old - but i'm hoping there will be some pleasant little mementos to bequeath them that they wouldn't mind keeping around. some books, probably. maybe some little doodads that i will have on a desk, once they get old enough to allow for dad to have his inner sanctum.

/andrew

This is a very nice, albeit morbid when you stop and think about it, thread . . .  As someone said earlier, I would hope my son remembers me for my character and personality, but I imagine there will be a few idiosyncracies and items that he'll associate with me as well. First and foremost will be the sartorial knowledge I will drill in to him (like Earl Woods gluing the golf club into Tiger's hands   ), and the mantra "buy the -fill in blank here- and not the name/designer". He'll probably remember my bow-ties, the watches that he'll inherit, how to properly shine a shoe, and the side-by-side shotguns that belonged to his grandfather and that his dad carried afield when the two of us went hunting.

I don't think that associating a person with things and associating a person with his values and actions are mutually exclusive. I loved my grandfather because he was a kind and good person who treated me well. I remember many things he had. I remember his collection of tie tacks, his worn wool jacket that smelled of horses, his sweat-stained cowboy hat, his boots, his prized saddle. Good memories.

I don't think that associating a person with things and associating a person with his values and actions are mutually exclusive.  I loved my grandfather because he was a kind and good person who treated me well.  I remember many things he had.  I remember his collection of tie tacks, his worn wool jacket that smelled of horses, his sweat-stained cowboy hat, his boots, his prized saddle.  Good memories.

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You guys are making me want to think about having kids now.

You guys are making me want to think about having kids now.

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that's funny, because it made me want to think about buying nice things to be remembered by...

Well, I taught my 4-year-old daughter the old "pull my finger" trick. Of course, she immediately went to her grandma (my mother-in-law) and showed off her new trick, complete with a genuine fart.

Also, my silk pocket squares -- I'm sure she will remember playing Captain Hook with them, and also taking all my cigar boxes and filling them with crayons. She's probably the only kid in pre-kinder that totes her crayons to school in a wooden Partagas box with the Genuine Cuban seal on it.