Wedding tie / bow tie advice

[maebach]

Hi all, I need some advice as I'm getting married in a few weeks. I'm going to wear a charcoal suit as I didnt want to spend money on buying a tux. I've told my groomsmen to wear charcoal suits as well. They wont match exactly, but it'll be close and I like the idea of slightly different shades of grey.

The question - the bridesmaids are wearing light pink dresses. What tie/bow tie should I wear and what should the groomsmen wear? I was thinking light pink bow tie for myself and light pink ties for them. Is that ok? If I go the bow tie route, can I wear a regular white dress shirt or should I need a tuxedo style shirt?

Any and all help is appreciated!

 

[maxalex]

First, you are smart to choose more practical suits over tuxedos, and to let your groomsmen wear their own, even if they don’t match perfectly. It’s a wedding, not a Broadway musical.

Your next smart move will be to ignore what the ladies are wearing. Don’t try to get all matchy with them. And especially don’t wear pink ties. Bowties by definition are fighting an uphill battle to be taken seriously (outside of full formal wear), and pink only makes it harder.

I would choose either a dark tie color or silver which is classic for weddings. I would probably opt for regular neckties but your choice. If you want all the groomsmen to wear identical ties, I think that’s fine. If you do go with bowties avoid black which is for tuxedos. Maybe choose something with a pattern.

No tuxedo shirts, although they don’t need to be standard poplin. They could be a more elegant weave such as royal oxford, and they could have French cuffs. But no pleats or studs and no wing collars, none of which are appropriate with a business suit.

 

[ter1413]

Don't wear a bowtie with a plain suit. Don't wear a pink bowtie.

 

[TheSuitBurnsBetter]

What about something that subtly picks up the light pink of the bridesmaids dresses without directly matching them? Like navy bow ties with pink dots or a pink floral pattern?
Here's one from BB:

Men's Dotted Silk Bow Tie | Brooks Brothers

Edward Green burgundy Piccadilly loafers crafted from calfskin leather. Goodyear welted. Leather sole. Tone-on-tone stitching.

www.brooksbrothers.com

No tux shirt, a white spread collar (with french cuffs if you want to formal it up a bit) would work better.

Remember: it's a wedding so it's ok or encouraged to be a little costumey and wear something you may not typically wear. Ask your bride-to-be if there's a certain look she's going for and work with that. If her bridesmaids are all wearing matching dresses and she wants something similar on your side, getting your party matching ties is a good gift. As my wife said to me (only half in jest): "I'm thinking about the photos, not impressing your internet friends."

 

[ter1413]

Brides to be often have horrible taste when it comes to men's clothing.

I would not wear ^ that bowtie with a suit. I would stick to regular/elegant ties.

 

[TheSuitBurnsBetter]

[turns to women wearing poofy lace ballgown and matching pink cocktail dresses they'll never wear again]

"You don't understand classic menswear, I'm going for a timeless elegant look"

[proceeds to get savagely beaten with stilettos]

 

[maebach]

First, you are smart to choose more practical suits over tuxedos, and to let your groomsmen wear their own, even if they don’t match perfectly. It’s a wedding, not a Broadway musical.

Your next smart move will be to ignore what the ladies are wearing. Don’t try to get all matchy with them. And especially don’t wear pink ties. Bowties by definition are fighting an uphill battle to be taken seriously (outside of full formal wear), and pink only makes it harder.

I would choose either a dark tie color or silver which is classic for weddings. I would probably opt for regular neckties but your choice. If you want all the groomsmen to wear identical ties, I think that’s fine. If you do go with bowties avoid black which is for tuxedos. Maybe choose something with a pattern.

No tuxedo shirts, although they don’t need to be standard poplin. They could be a more elegant weave such as royal oxford, and they could have French cuffs. But no pleats or studs and no wing collars, none of which are appropriate with a business suit.

Thanks! Yes this makes sense. Will definitely avoid black bow tie. Thoughts on burgundy bow tie with a charcoal suit?

Don't wear a bowtie with a plain suit. Don't wear a pink bowtie.

What kind of neck tie would you recommend?

What about something that subtly picks up the light pink of the bridesmaids dresses without directly matching them? Like navy bow ties with pink dots or a pink floral pattern?
Here's one from BB:

Men's Dotted Silk Bow Tie | Brooks Brothers

Edward Green burgundy Piccadilly loafers crafted from calfskin leather. Goodyear welted. Leather sole. Tone-on-tone stitching.

www.brooksbrothers.com

No tux shirt, a white spread collar (with french cuffs if you want to formal it up a bit) would work better.

Remember: it's a wedding so it's ok or encouraged to be a little costumey and wear something you may not typically wear. Ask your bride-to-be if there's a certain look she's going for and work with that. If her bridesmaids are all wearing matching dresses and she wants something similar on your side, getting your party matching ties is a good gift. As my wife said to me (only half in jest): "I'm thinking about the photos, not impressing your internet friends."

Thanks for the idea. I like the idea of a white spread collar shirt with French cuffs. I was leaning towards burgundy bow tie but the SO wants pink. Thoughts on burgundy bow tie with a charcoal suit?

Brides to be often have horrible taste when it comes to men's clothing.

I would not wear ^ that bowtie with a suit. I would stick to regular/elegant ties.

Any suggestions for a necktie? Probably a silver/grey colour? What do I get the groomsmen to wear? A pattern neck tie? Or reverse it so I'm wearing a pattern neck tie and they all have silver/grey ties?

 

[TheSuitBurnsBetter]

Thanks for the idea. I like the idea of a white spread collar shirt with French cuffs. I was leaning towards burgundy bow tie but the SO wants pink. Thoughts on burgundy bow tie with a charcoal suit?

Only concern I'd have is the burgundy with the pink dresses may make the whole thing look a little Valentine's Day themed? If the bride wants matching pink ties, then go with matching pink ties. Don't go with satin (the smooth shiny silk you'd use for black tie) which would look tacky. Assuming you live in the Northern Hemisphere and this is a summer wedding, what about this pink raw silk? It's got a little texture and visual interest and I think would look good with a charcoal suit.

Pink Raw Silk Bow Tie

Handmade in NYC. 100% Silk. 2 1/4". Self-tie. Adjustable 13 3/4" to 17 1/2". If this item is sold out, or you require more units than available, contact us and we'll check our Manhattan shop inventory.

fineanddandyshop.com

To be clear: I'm not saying "do whatever the bride tells you to do." But standard menswear "rules" may not necessarily apply in a wedding situation (the bridal party isn't wearing what they would typically wear either!).

 

[rjc149]

I think a burgundy bowtie with a charcoal suit would be okay, but only for this specific occasion, since it's a wedding and probably one of few occasions where a bowtie with a suit doesn't look stupid.

However, I would personally recommend wearing a classic wedding necktie, which looks much better with a suit. A "wedding necktie" is usually a lighter-toned color, often silvery or otherwise satin, with floral patterns or an understated pattern, like a quiet paisley or glencheck.

Here's a quintessential wedding tie:

As you can see, it's a fairly versatile tie that can be worn for business or other formal events. A burgundy bowtie would be relegated to being a memento. Which is perfectly fine, you want to remember the occasion. But it's a single-use garment.

On a side note, the common MO is for the bride to determine what everyone wears -- which belies the tendency for women-curated menswear to be hyper-trendy, immature, or just silly. Unless your SO is going to incorporate your input on the bridesmaid's attire, I'd say you should assert your own preferences for the groomsmen. It's your special day too, after all, and you clearly care enough to seek advice from a menswear forum.

 

[ValidusLA]

First, you are smart to choose more practical suits over tuxedos, and to let your groomsmen wear their own, even if they don’t match perfectly. It’s a wedding, not a Broadway musical.

Your next smart move will be to ignore what the ladies are wearing. Don’t try to get all matchy with them. And especially don’t wear pink ties. Bowties by definition are fighting an uphill battle to be taken seriously (outside of full formal wear), and pink only makes it harder.

I would choose either a dark tie color or silver which is classic for weddings. I would probably opt for regular neckties but your choice. If you want all the groomsmen to wear identical ties, I think that’s fine. If you do go with bowties avoid black which is for tuxedos. Maybe choose something with a pattern.

No tuxedo shirts, although they don’t need to be standard poplin. They could be a more elegant weave such as royal oxford, and they could have French cuffs. But no pleats or studs and no wing collars, none of which are appropriate with a business suit.

I think a burgundy bowtie with a charcoal suit would be okay, but only for this specific occasion, since it's a wedding and probably one of few occasions where a bowtie with a suit doesn't look stupid.

However, I would personally recommend wearing a classic wedding necktie, which looks much better with a suit. A "wedding necktie" is usually a lighter-toned color, often silvery or otherwise satin, with floral patterns or an understated pattern, like a quiet paisley or glencheck.

Here's a quintessential wedding tie:

View attachment 1819385

As you can see, it's a fairly versatile tie that can be worn for business or other formal events. A burgundy bowtie would be relegated to being a memento. Which is perfectly fine, you want to remember the occasion. But it's a single-use garment.

On a side note, the common MO is for the bride to determine what everyone wears -- which belies the tendency for women-curated menswear to be hyper-trendy, immature, or just silly. Unless your SO is going to incorporate your input on the bridesmaid's attire, I'd say you should assert your own preferences for the groomsmen. It's your special day too, after all, and you clearly care enough to seek advice from a menswear forum.

Generally good advice from above re:
1) You are making a very good choice wearing charcoal suits. I've been in a couple weddings w/ this as the plan, looked good.
2) Ignoring women's (general) input on wedding attire. Its a minefield of bad taste.

Standard wedding ties have been mentioned. The trifecta of Shepard's check, glencheck, or houndstooth in a black/white that resolves to silver I think is a great way to go. Sometimes grenadine gets added to this.

Check out https://www.kentwang.com/accessories/ties/wedding-ties

Don't even have to have all be the same. Mix and match of the three.

 

[maxalex]

I wouldn't wear a solid bowtie of any color but rather a striped rep bowtie which looks more business like (for men who wear bowties to work). Like what Tucker Carlson used to wear, trad reppy look. A maccslefield, or silver. Avoid matching women; without getting into transgender or gay weddings (which I support), in a trad wedding the gal has a ****** and the guy has junk. So embrace your differences--dress as the men and the women you are, with fun, and joy.

My GF in Rome is a clothing designer. She knows better than to tell me what to wear...well, most of the time. We work it out somehow even if we often show up late.

 

[maebach]

I owe you all an update on this. Wedding was amazing and the suits/ties looked great. Thank you all again!

I asked them all to wear dark grey suits with burgundy ties. I was wearing a dark grey suit with raw pink silk bow tie recommended in this thread. Putting on the bow tie was a nightmare! Took like an hour the morning of - I really should have practiced.

My best man commented that he was really happy I didnt make everyone rent a tux. He was in another bridal party and hated the hassle in renting a tux.

I was concerned that it may look like a "valentines day" party, but it didnt at all.