How do you keep yourself accountable from overspending?

[FlyingHorker]

Mental Health and Clothing

I've debated making this thread for a while, hopefully something useful comes out of it. Trying to create a jumping off point for mental health discussion and its potential intersection with clothing. My own issues. In the past, I'd just pretend I didn't have any issues, nor did I have...

www.styleforum.net

A continuation from that thread.

We all have our definitions of "overspending", but I've fallen prey to lifestyle creep over the past 2-3 years. "I'll never be able to afford a house, might as well blow it on luxury goods!". This also ties into the hedonic treadmill; picture below explains it well. Replace cellphone data allowance with anything from Styleforum.

Coupling low impulse control and overspending, I needed to come up with tools to keep myself grounded.

Here are some ideas I've been trying.

Listing wanted/needed items
Creating a list of items that I "need" vs. "want" for clothing helps me plan out long-term purchases and gets rid of a lot of guilty feelings. "Need" in the sense that I'm better off buying polos, in basic colours, for my current wardrobe cohesiveness rather than a 5th overcoat.

I also look at an item over a couple weeks to a month. This lets me distinguish between "Is this my mind fiending for a hit?" or "Hey I'd actually use/wear this and it'd be useful in my wadrobe".

Moving off excess funds to a saving account
Treating bank accounts and pay cheques as a "game". Now I try and keep my chequing account at a baseline amount, say $3000. Once I get a paycheck and go above that, I pay bills first and transfer the leftovers to a savings account. This feels rewarding, and I find I'm less likely to let my chequing account go below $3000 or spend what's in my savings account.

I still buy clothing of course, but so far, I'm less likely to blow a large portion of my pay cheque on some high-ticket item.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

What has worked for you? What hasn't worked?

 

[thatboyo]

I set a hard $ amount at the end of each year to spend the next year and try to not go over it. In addition, I also have a list of wants (at this point there's nothing I need) and if there's ever a sale or a new drop somewhere that tempts me, I refer back to it and if it's not on the list, I let it go.

 

[leapyourbar]

i try to save three times as much as i spend. i have zero remorse knowing that if i am
still himming and hawing over an item by the time i’ve saved for it thrice over, i am
making a solid decision lol.

 

[stuffedsuperdud]

You can get financial advice anywhere and it sounds like you already know the theoretical answer (put your funds into low risk steady reward places and let it grow) so I won't bore you with that. So I'll just beat my dead horse and remind you that at the end of the day, this stuff is just clothes. They are to accompany you on a life well-lived, not an end undo themselves. It won't bring you happiness, as you've already observed, and frankly, once you collect the #menswear staples, the thing gets pretty tedious.* I mean, how many variants of blue jackets and gray flannel trousers does one really need, right? And really, all it takes is one tough cross-country move to really drive home how much you don't need most of what you already have, and what a physical burden it can be, along with the mental one it already was. Ask me how I know...

On a more cynical and less philosophical note, notice that clothing companies are never really selling you on the clothes themselves. They're selling a false promise of experiences. Get some resort-chic stuff and a Vespa and boom, you're Dickie Greenleaf, banging Gwyneth Paltrow in some Neapolitan waterfront property. Dour grey flannel suit with brown brogues? Shazam, now you're George Smiley, surviving that English weather while battling wits with Karla. Fresco trousers with Cooper collar shirt? Huzzah, off to some topless beach in Monaco. And so on and so on. Of course, at the end of the day you're not them because those backdrops are mostly made up by not particularly creative Don Draper types (so I guess Paul Kinsey types...) to separate you from your money. Husband your resources in a disciplined and careful manner, and don't be a willing participant in their obnoxious scam.

If you have some spare change burning a hole in your pockets that you don't want to put in an index fund or whatever, what you should maybe do instead of buying clothes is to actually just go on some version of the adventures depicted in the ads. You can scale this up and down as your budget permits, e.g. if you're interested in being some Italian playboy, you can straight up just go there, put on the outfit, and do the Talented Mr. Ripley thing. If your budget is tighter, you can stay home, gather ingredients, and put together a meal for friends using some regional recipes you can easily find online. Any adventure big or small will yield you more personal growth than another bit of tailoring sitting in your closet.


*Clothes are particularly silly because of what they are, fundamentally. Nothing but fibers that we grow in the ground or pluck off a smelly four-legged animal, which we then spin into yarn, weave into sheets, and drape over our bodies, because we're embarrassed and ashamed when other people see our butts and our dongs. Aliens watching us the way we watch Nat Geo are probably laughing their asses off.

 

[ladislav.jancik]

I know it is quite an oversimplification but unfollowing style/clothing/fashion related Instagram or any other picture or photo focused social platform accounts does help quite a bit. Just cut off that storytelling scam which is recycling over and over again anyway and focus on creating your own real life experiences and adventures. Something in the vein of "To Have or to Be?" by Erich Fromm.

 

[FPB]

You can get financial advice anywhere and it sounds like you already know the theoretical answer (put your funds into low risk steady reward places and let it grow) so I won't bore you with that. So I'll just beat my dead horse and remind you that at the end of the day, this stuff is just clothes. They are to accompany you on a life well-lived, not an end undo themselves. It won't bring you happiness, as you've already observed, and frankly, once you collect the #menswear staples, the thing gets pretty tedious.* I mean, how many variants of blue jackets and gray flannel trousers does one really need, right? And really, all it takes is one tough cross-country move to really drive home how much you don't need most of what you already have, and what a physical burden it can be, along with the mental one it already was. Ask me how I know...

On a more cynical and less philosophical note, notice that clothing companies are never really selling you on the clothes themselves. They're selling a false promise of experiences. Get some resort-chic stuff and a Vespa and boom, you're Dickie Greenleaf, banging Gwyneth Paltrow in some Neapolitan waterfront property. Dour grey flannel suit with brown brogues? Shazam, now you're George Smiley, surviving that English weather while battling wits with Karla. Fresco trousers with Cooper collar shirt? Huzzah, off to some topless beach in Monaco. And so on and so on. Of course, at the end of the day you're not them because those backdrops are mostly made up by not particularly creative Don Draper types (so I guess Paul Kinsey types...) to separate you from your money. Husband your resources in a disciplined and careful manner, and don't be a willing participant in their obnoxious scam.

If you have some spare change burning a hole in your pockets that you don't want to put in an index fund or whatever, what you should maybe do instead of buying clothes is to actually just go on some version of the adventures depicted in the ads. You can scale this up and down as your budget permits, e.g. if you're interested in being some Italian playboy, you can straight up just go there, put on the outfit, and do the Talented Mr. Ripley thing. If your budget is tighter, you can stay home, gather ingredients, and put together a meal for friends using some regional recipes you can easily find online. Any adventure big or small will yield you more personal growth than another bit of tailoring sitting in your closet.


*Clothes are particularly silly because of what they are, fundamentally. Nothing but fibers that we grow in the ground or pluck off a smelly four-legged animal, which we then spin into yarn, weave into sheets, and drape over our bodies, because we're embarrassed and ashamed when other people see our butts and our dongs. Aliens watching us the way we watch Nat Geo are probably laughing their asses off.

This is probably one of my favorite posts on SF ever.

 

[Son Of Saphir]

This is probably one of my favorite posts on SF ever.

yes,
the last paragraph is very good,
and the last sentence is more good.

 

[St1X]

I know it is quite an oversimplification but unfollowing style/clothing/fashion related Instagram or any other picture or photo focused social platform accounts does help quite a bit. Just cut off that storytelling scam which is recycling over and over again anyway and focus on creating your own real life experiences and adventures. Something in the vein of "To Have or to Be?" by Erich Fromm.

I want to add to this. Unsubscribe from brands newsletters too. Quite often I get an e-mail with new items being release and there's wants there. Get rid of it

 

[FlyingHorker]

You can get financial advice anywhere and it sounds like you already know the theoretical answer (put your funds into low risk steady reward places and let it grow) so I won't bore you with that. So I'll just beat my dead horse and remind you that at the end of the day, this stuff is just clothes. They are to accompany you on a life well-lived, not an end undo themselves. It won't bring you happiness, as you've already observed, and frankly, once you collect the #menswear staples, the thing gets pretty tedious.* I mean, how many variants of blue jackets and gray flannel trousers does one really need, right? And really, all it takes is one tough cross-country move to really drive home how much you don't need most of what you already have, and what a physical burden it can be, along with the mental one it already was. Ask me how I know...

On a more cynical and less philosophical note, notice that clothing companies are never really selling you on the clothes themselves. They're selling a false promise of experiences. Get some resort-chic stuff and a Vespa and boom, you're Dickie Greenleaf, banging Gwyneth Paltrow in some Neapolitan waterfront property. Dour grey flannel suit with brown brogues? Shazam, now you're George Smiley, surviving that English weather while battling wits with Karla. Fresco trousers with Cooper collar shirt? Huzzah, off to some topless beach in Monaco. And so on and so on. Of course, at the end of the day you're not them because those backdrops are mostly made up by not particularly creative Don Draper types (so I guess Paul Kinsey types...) to separate you from your money. Husband your resources in a disciplined and careful manner, and don't be a willing participant in their obnoxious scam.

If you have some spare change burning a hole in your pockets that you don't want to put in an index fund or whatever, what you should maybe do instead of buying clothes is to actually just go on some version of the adventures depicted in the ads. You can scale this up and down as your budget permits, e.g. if you're interested in being some Italian playboy, you can straight up just go there, put on the outfit, and do the Talented Mr. Ripley thing. If your budget is tighter, you can stay home, gather ingredients, and put together a meal for friends using some regional recipes you can easily find online. Any adventure big or small will yield you more personal growth than another bit of tailoring sitting in your closet.


*Clothes are particularly silly because of what they are, fundamentally. Nothing but fibers that we grow in the ground or pluck off a smelly four-legged animal, which we then spin into yarn, weave into sheets, and drape over our bodies, because we're embarrassed and ashamed when other people see our butts and our dongs. Aliens watching us the way we watch Nat Geo are probably laughing their asses off.

I think you hit the nail on the head for me, and also realized the head space I'm currently in.

Thanks dude, I needed this reality check. I don't think it's going to click for me right away, but I saved this post on a document.

Not often that you can have down to earth conversations on here, but I always appreciate it when I can.