Dilemma: I don't like my coworkers

[Augustus Medici]

It's not that we don't get along. Our day-to-day socializing around the office is smooth, and I always nod when they say things like "we're a family" and so forth. I'm fine with them, but they're just not the sort of people I'd "hang out" with under normal conditions.

But now, some of my coworkers want to go out all the time, have parties at his place, at her place, at everybody's place, etc. I keep getting invited out of professional obligation on their part or because they really like me or whatever. My dilemma is that I can't quite turn these people down all the time because I have to see them M-F (S and SU sometimes too). It would cause needless office drama if I'm always "doing something else" just in time to conflict.

Should I tell them that I'm gay (although I think they're the sort of people that would just roll with it and still invite me)? I'm really quite vexed. What is my solution?

 

[California Dreamer]

Tell them the truth. You have a life outside work and a whole lot of family and other friends you need to keep up with also. You need time for them as well, so you can't commit to spend all the time with your office colleagues.

 

[ghulkhan]

People tend to want to hang out with people that they are close to. By close I mean that you see them all the time. I think it would look pretty bad if you turned them down all the time. So I guess you can say you have other obligations but do it all the time. And when you hang out with them, you have to be genuinely enjoying it...otherwise its just going to all look like a sham and those few times that you are hanging out with them is just going to be useless

 

[Nick M]

Originally Posted by Augustus Medici

What is my solution?

Option 1.) Show up for half an hour - on the way to wherever you actually want to go. Make some jokes, have a drink with someone, slap some backs, sing karaoke, be noticed. Then slip out without telling anyone. If it's a party party and not a small gathering, most people will assume you were there the whole night.

If you can show up when everyone's already had a few, this is much easier.

Option 2.) Attend one big event, and one smaller event. Stay the whole night both times. You are now officially a team player. After that - no more than one work thing a month.

 

[Augustus Medici]

Oof one of them wants to host a dinner party at their place this week. Is this a big one?

 

[Alter]

Originally Posted by Augustus Medici

Oof one of them wants to host a dinner party at their place this week. Is this a big one?

It could be your opportunity.

Go. Get really wasted drunk. Fondle one of your co-workers breasts, break a vase or something and puke on the carpet. Then apologize profusely and leave.

The next day, call everyone and apologize profusely some more. Apologize until they tell you to stop.

That should do it. You can keep your job and they will probably not invite you anymore. If they do, just remind them to "remember what happened last time" and politely decline.

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by Alter

It could be your opportunity.

Go. Get really wasted drunk. Fondle one of your co-workers breasts, break a vase or something and puke on the carpet. Then apologize profusely and leave.

The next day, call everyone and apologize profusely some more. Apologize until they tell you to stop.

That should do it. You can keep your job and they will probably not invite you anymore. If they do, just remind them to "remember what happened last time" and politely decline.

you are an evil geneus, this is a great piece of advice.

 

[Augustus Medici]

Originally Posted by Alter

It could be your opportunity.

Go. Get really wasted drunk. Fondle one of your co-workers breasts, break a vase or something and puke on the carpet. Then apologize profusely and leave.

The next day, call everyone and apologize profusely some more. Apologize until they tell you to stop.

That should do it. You can keep your job and they will probably not invite you anymore. If they do, just remind them to "remember what happened last time" and politely decline.

The social pressures and obligations of today's culture are hysterical!

 

[Thomas]

Yeah, I was going to say pick and choose your events, but the drunken debacle sounds more fun.

...as long as it doesn't backfire - you could learn more than you ever wanted to know about this bunch.

 

[JBZ]

Originally Posted by Augustus Medici

Should I tell them that I'm gay

I didn't realize this was a viable means of getting out of attending a social event.

- "Do you want to grab drinks after work today?"

- "I'm gay."

- "Oh. Okay. Nevermind."

 

[ghulkhan]

well Gay poeple like to travel in groups because they feel comfortable that way. You can explain to them that you need to be around other gays in order to feel comfortable...