Yet another what should I wear to my wedding thread

[jawboneofa]

Hey guys,

So my wedding is coming up in a couple of months, and I was hoping to get your input on my attire. To give you some seasonal/weather info, it's in Phoenix in December. Being Arizona, it shouldn't be wet outside, nor should it be very cold. The wedding is at 1 in the afternoon in a beautiful church (yes, they exist in the Southwest, albeit in fewer numbers), with the reception to follow at a country club. Neither my fiancee or I are incredibly formal; for our wedding we're going for a kind of "casual elegance", which, of course, is a bit of a useless description, because who would object to being casually elegant? Regardless, with that in mind, I decided to forgo the tux and go with a suit. I also don't want to buy a tux when my wardrobe is so lacking in suits, and renting is, of course, right out. Plus it's an early afternoon wedding, so tux is out.

I have a rather large wedding party (8 guys--four brothers, four friends), and while I would have been willing to go whole hog and purchased something in the $500-$1k range for a suit, they're not as embarrassingly obsessed educated with menswear as I am starting to become. So in honor of their pocketbooks, I went with something a good deal more reasonable. It fits pretty well OTR, although I'll have to have some tailoring done. As you can see on the link, it's charcoal gray, two-button, notch lapel with flat front pants. I'm debating whether or not to get cuffs on the pants.

I'm planning on having my groomsmen wear black shoes, while I wear a pair of dark brown Gravatis I picked up on the BS a couple months ago. They're bluchers, but I'm ok with that, and I doubt anyone at the wedding will know the difference between bluchers and oxfords anyways. I think the brown versus everybody else's black shoes will help me stand out as the groom, but I am a little concerned this might not look as good as I think it will. What do you think? I can always rock some black bals.

My real question for you guys is: what should I do on the shirt, tie, and PS combo?

The obvious choice is a white shirt, but my fiancee's dress is ivory. I don't want to make her dress look dingy by wearing a bright white shirt right next to her. I could go ecru, but I just don't like the way ecru looks. Can I do something with texture or weave or fabric that will make a white shirt less stark looking? I'm planning on doing mitered barrel cuffs with a semi-spread collar, so no cuff links or anything like that.

As for the tie, we've got a dark purple/brown/aubergine color and a lighter green color throughout the flowers and decorations, and I'd like to mimic that with the ties. I'm planning on giving my groomsmen a green tie from thetiebar.com, but I'm having a tough time deciding what to do with my tie. I'd like to do something in a solid, deep purple, but help me out on material and weave. Is raw silk/knit/wool/grenadine too casual? Do I have to go satin per usual? What about a silver glen check over a purple background? I'm willing to spend quite a bit more for my own tie. I'd feel bad spending more on mine than my groomsmen, but I don't think they'll notice.

For the pocket square I'm planning on matching my shirt color (e.g. a simple white linen square with a tv fold if the shirt is white), although I have considered a white linen with purple edging or even purple silk paisley with white detailing to complement the tie. Which reminds me, I'm planning on rocking purple socks.

My main goal here is to look put together. I don't want to look stuffy, I want to be comfortable, but I want to feel and look great. More than anything, I don't want to be that weird groom who looks like he's competing with his bride for attention. I want to be an accessory that makes her look even better.

Any recommendations you might have would be great. If I've forgotten anything, I know, it's because I'm a newb. Thanks in advance!

 

[jawboneofa]

Wow, that came out really long. The condensed version is:

I'm getting married in December in Phoenix. Not wearing a tux, wearing this suit. Wedding colors are dark purple and light green. Having groomsmen wear black shoes, I'm wearing brown. Is this a good or bad idea. Having groomsmen wear a light green tie. Bride's dress is ivory. What should I do on shirt, tie, and pocket square.

Thanks.

 

[GBR]

WE don't need another thread on this subject - there is plenty of material for you to research and consider without asking the question again.

Your post is also far too long: About the only thing good about the abbreviated version is that you tell us that you are not wearing evening dress which is a sensible decision.

 

[jawboneofa]

I realize the post was too long, which is why I posted an abbreviated version. I'm a little further along than the generic guidelines offered to me by other similar posts, but perhaps the best way to get input would be to try a couple different things in pictures and have people vote. Regardless, thanks for your reply.

 

[Sonny58]



WE don't need another thread on this subject - there is plenty of material for you to research and consider without asking the question again.

Your post is also far too long: About the only thing good about the abbreviated version is that you tell us that you are not wearing evening dress which is a sensible decision.

For goodness sake, he's getting married, a once in a lifetime thing. He's got some questions that are specific to his circumstances. Surely he can start his own thread for advice.

I wish I felt qualified to offer you some opinions but there are others here who are far more capable. You are obviously giving much consideration to your girl and the occassion, that is great! Congratulations on your upcoming marriage, I'm sure it will be something to remember for a lifetime.

 

[GoldenTribe]



For goodness sake, he's getting married, a once in a lifetime thing. He's got some very specific questions that are specific to his circumstances. Surely he can start his own thread for advice.

Don't bother about him (and OP shouldn't either), he's a professional asshole who visits SF for an hour every night to vent the bitter bile building up as a result of his ongoing failure at life.

Eventually maybe he'll figure out it's mostly just the semi-literate cretins starting new threads to ask vague and/or irrelevant one-sentence questions who need to be bitched at.

 

[unbelragazzo]

Umm...ok...to try and get this thread back on topic...why is it a requirement that the groom where something almost identical to the groomsmen (side point: why is it required that all the groomsmen wear the same suit...but people seem to have just decided on that)? Why can't you wear a $1000 suit and have them wear this $250 suit? It's not as if all the bridesmaids are wearing wedding dresses. But anyway, seeing as how you've already got the suit and seem set on that:

1) Maybe you've already got this taken care of, but be sure to take this suit to a tailor to get it to fit you properly

2) I'd caution against too much purple in the tie. Remember you're going to be looking at this pictures for the rest of your life. Purple is a color that you might end up regretting later. Some purple in a glen plaid pattern is ok, but you should have to kind of look hard to see it. I wouldn't go too busy with the pocket square either. Although you're not in formal wear, it's still a formal occasion...I'd just go with white linen or maybe white linen tipped with something...purple if you must. This regardless of what color shirt you are wearing. I'd also say no to the purple socks. Again, if you find a pattern with some purple in it that you like, ok, I guess if you must...but just a pure purple sock...for your wedding day, I think it's too loud.

 

[mic]

Hey, dude, my wedding is in a week or so, and I feel your anxiety.

My bride's dress is "ivory" too- actually it's her grandmother's wedding dress from 1935 that she had altered, so it's yellowed- and I was cautioned not to go with a white shirt myself. I solved this problem by getting a white shirt with very fine blue pinstripes and the overall effect is less than white, yet still very dressed up and congruent with the slightly old-fashioned/"Sunday Best" mode that we have planned. (Thanks to Ben at ehaberdasher for the shirt!)

Just a thought! Good luck!

 

[musicguy]

I'm with GBR.

 

[lynchpatrickj]



Hey, dude, my wedding is in a week or so, and I feel your anxiety.

My bride's dress is "ivory" too- actually it's her grandmother's wedding dress from 1935 that she had altered, so it's yellowed- and I was cautioned not to go with a white shirt myself. I solved this problem by getting a white shirt with very fine blue pinstripes and the overall effect is less than white, yet still very dressed up and congruent with the slightly old-fashioned/"Sunday Best" mode that we have planned. (Thanks to Ben at ehaberdasher for the shirt!)

Just a thought! Good luck!

Sound off for guys getting married next week! Me too!

And OP! You and I have a similar color scheme, even. We're doing slate blue and aubergine. We've had a heck of a time finding things in that color scheme this year. Best of luck to you.

My woman is also wearing an off-white. Your off-white by way of stripes is a great one, by the way. I don't have a shirt yet, so I may steal this.

"Why can't you wear a $1000 suit and have them wear this $250 suit? It's not as if all the bridesmaids are wearing wedding dresses."

+1 to this - I'm doing it. I'm wearing Black Fleece, the guys are wearing rentals.

" I wouldn't go too busy with the pocket square either. Although you're not in formal wear, it's still a formal occasion...I'd just go with white linen or maybe white linen tipped with something...purple if you must. This regardless of what color shirt you are wearing. I'd also say no to the purple socks. Again, if you find a pattern with some purple in it that you like, ok, I guess if you must...but just a pure purple sock...for your wedding day, I think it's too loud."

Also great tip.

I just bought a purple tie in vain for want of this advice.

 

[jawboneofa]

Thanks for the input guys. I'll bear in mind not overdoing the purple thing. And the helpful advice on the ivory dress thing.

Also to GBR and MusicGuy, you're absolutely right. Shoulda done a little more research first. Other threads were certainly helpful. That said, thanks to the rest of you.