My Mom just died and the death of parents.

I have not posted in a while and there is a reason.

My Mom celebrated her 94th birthday on June 18, 2011 and then died 8 days later on June 26th.

She died in Ft. Lauderdale, Fl. and I have basically just got back from burying her in W Palm Beach, Fl. Because of religious reasons she had to be buried quickly and I live in Houston, Tx. It was very stressful, hurried and hectic.

Since I am an only child and all her friends and relatives are very, very old it was a very small funeral.

I could care less about the kind of funeral I have ( since I am not religious at all ), but of course I followed my mother's wishes. My Mom was only a little religious. But after some thought I figured it was the right thing to do for the family ( some who are religious ) and for my Moms wishes. The funeral was very small small but very nice with only about 9 attendees.

She was buried in W Palm Beach, Fl., not far from Palm Beach and the Breakers Hotel where I would take her for an annual lunch each year. She was definitely not the type to be a guest at the hotel.

Of course at 94 years of age, it was not exactly surprising or certainly before her time. But she did not have any acute illnesses that seemingly would have killed her soon. The Drs. told me it was a cardiac event ( probably a catch all phrase ). I take GREAT SOLACE in that she died in her home, quickly and painlessly. I called a lady the day my Mom died who I had look in on my Mom regularly ( she lived in the same condo complex ), but when the lady got to my Mom it was too late and she immediately called an ambulance, but Mom was DOA at the hospital.

My Dad died in 1970 so it was different and many years ago. Maybe, in a sense they will be together again ( my Mom never re - married ). As I said I am not religious a bit. And with no children, I might get cremated at death and scattered who knows where.

She obviously lived a long life and had her ups and downs. But she always maintained her dignity and independence and there is a lot to be said for that. If anyone comments in the thread, I might tell a story or two about her seeing a young Frank Sinatra and working for civil rights back in the 1950s when Jews could.

Anyway it seems like just yesterday that I gave her a Diamond ring on last years visit to Ft. Lauderdale ( since my Dad could not afford one, way back when ).If I find it, I might post that picture here since I like to remember her happy.

Dying is part of living of course but it is still tough. None of us get out of this thing alive!

I know most here ( with very few exceptions ) are younger than I. Has anyone lost a parent? I am sure many have lost grandparents ( including me who has lost all 4 of course ). It was recommended that I do things ( like this perhaps ) to get my mind off of the grief, so I will do that. Anyone want to comment or share their experiences please do. I'm sure that like in many areas of life, some like me, some dislike me, and most could care less. Truly, no one could think of anyone that disliked my Mom. She was that type of person.

Regards All,
A

I am sorry for your loss. I have not yet lost a parent.

Sorry for your loss, rnoldh.

in sorry for your loss, rnoldh. My parents are in their late 40s early 50s and I can only hope they can live as long as your mother did

I am so sorry for your loss and I would love to hear a few stories about your mother, I am sure that I'm not the only one.


*Deleting sig for a few days as it is crass in light of posting in this thread

Truly sorry Arnold. I'd like to hear the Sinatra story, if you have the time.

As with the others, sorry for your loss. The best thing is to keep the mind busy and remember all the great moments shared.

Originally Posted by Connemara

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Truly sorry Arnold. I'd like to hear the Sinatra story, if you have the time.
Would also like to hear about this.

Sorry to hear this. Yes, I have, and it is hard, but you have to hang in. Good luck.

My condolences. She lived a really long life and I'll bet it was a pretty happy one thanks to you.

very sorry to hear this rnoldh, my sincere condolences. (here is the jew version of that- hamokom yinachem eschem bsoch shaar aveilay tzion vyerushaliyim)

sounds like your mother was a great person. id be glad for you to share some stories.

thank g-d i have my parents and hope they both live at least as long as your mother. i have lost 3 grandparents and an 2 uncles, im sure the feeling is not nearly as deep as with a parent. but maybe i do understand a little the loss you have suffered. it is a hard road, and i have seen both of my parents travel it. i hope you have the strength to continue on and to be a great legacy for your mother of blessed memory.

My condolences.

Sounds like she lived a long and full life.

My condolences.

my sincere condolences, A. looks like you were a good son to your mom. I'm always fascinated by stories of "everyday people" specially the ones who lived in a world different from what it is now, so I look forward to your stories of your mom.

++++

my grandmother passed away last month, and she was at that same age. her husband also died forty-something years ago and never re-married. what I learned was no matter how much you're "prepared" for a loved one's death and you'd like to think at that age we shouldn't grieve but should celebrate such a long and fulfilling life, once it happens all bets are off.

Thanks Everyone Sincerely!

It does help to get through the first month and think of her being happy.

For conne and others I will see what I can dig up from her bobby soxer days.

Last year I gave one of my Moms purses to the wife of a famous musician and we joked that it was still touring after all these years. That is a nice memory. I will see if I have that picture.

One of my all time favorites is a picture from the 1960s when my parents ran into Wilt Chamberlain in a NYC club. He was nice enough to take a picture with them. My Dad comes up to his chin and my Mom to his chest. God, do I wish I had kept that picture.

My advice to all of you is to hang on to things like that. They get really memorable.

Edit: I found the purse picture, and it is one of my favorites. Here she is with the Alligator bag she used in the early 1940s ( including the Sinatra shows )



And here is the Email I sent to the lady who has it now. It was last June 13th ( right before Moms 93rd ) and though you will be able to figure out the new band, I know they wont mind and my Mom was so excited last year. Seems like yesterday!

G,

I had told you my Mom was a Frank Sinatra Bobby Socks gal back
about 1940. She bought this bag to see him at the Paramount in
Brooklyn, NYC. I asked her if she ever used it for other concerts. She
said sure. She said that she used to go to Harlem to the Savoy
Ballroom and she saw Nat King Cole, Count Basie, Ella Fitzgerald,
Billy Eckstine, Duke Ellington and Sammy Davis Jr. I never even knew
this. Her concert going days ended in the early 1960s.

I asked her if I could pass the bag on to a friend that is married
to a musician. She's never heard of ..top, and she asked me if the
musician was like Sinatra! I'll leave that one to Billy. I said "sort
of" but that you might take the bag to some great concerts. She was
ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTED and insisted I send it to you.

You can get an idea of the bag's size in the picture of her holding
it. Since the bag is about 70+ years old, it's in great shape. The
alligator body is pretty much perfect. The handle will need some work
but I think any good shoemaker could repair it and please send me the
bill.

Anyway, she will be 93 on June 18th of this week and she is amazed
and gratified that the bag will live again, so to speak. If at all
possible, please use it. As an art deco piece with a provenance
you'll never do better. I too love the idea.

Best and Be Well,
Arnold H,

good advise.

glad to see you seem to be doing ok under the circumstances